Christmas Day 2007

On this Christmas Day 2007 I am not writing to the general masses. I am writing this to those whose heart is shattered; to those who have lost a love; to those whose love has been rejected or not reciprocated.

Not everyone has this experience. There are those who live and die without ever losing the love of their life. They precede their love in death or they never fall in love. There are those who live and die without ever having their love rejected. They never fall in love without the feeling being mutual. Everyone’s heart is broken by certain losses. But not everyone knows what it means to have their heart shattered by these particular kinds of losses.

Losing the love of your life and falling in love with someone who does not fall in love with you are very similar experiences. There are no words to describe the pain. We use words like broken, shattered, and devastated but these words are only words. They do not capture the feeling.

I have had both of these experiences. I realize now how many people are hurting and suffering from these experiences. People in this world are hurting.

If you are one of these people, please give me a moment of your time. There is something I need to say to you. Be comforted to know that the love that you have felt for someone is the love that Jesus has for you.

We say it so tritely; for God so loved the world. We think that it only describes God’s intent or motive. We do not think of His love as the same kind of passion that we experience for the love of our life.

God created us in His image. We got this passion from Him. He has it toward you.

It is so hard to believe that God loves us that way. It is not accompanied by any kind of sensual desire but the passion is the same.

This first donned on me when I was just a teen. It released in me a torrent of praise and passion for God that has marked my life ever since. I started loving Him when I finally realized He loved me this way.

Go ahead and believe it. The incarnation is sufficient evidence that what I am saying is true. The cross is another witness.

God never loses the love of His life. Death is just a door to a new level of relationship. But He does love many who do not love Him.

Can God grieve? The Holy Spirit can and the Holy Spirit is a member of the Holy trinity. God grieves when the feeling of love is not mutual. He understands your pain if you have lost your love or your love has been rejected. Because He loves you He weeps with you.

This somehow comforts me and gives me peace. I am not alone. The Sovereign ruler of all that we see and all that we cannot see weeps with me. Why? Because He loves me!

Because He loves you, He is weeping with you this Christmas Day 2007 if your heart is shattered by the loss of your love or your love has been spurned. You are not alone.

Jerry Wells

My Birthday

The calendar has it all wrong. It says today, December 22, is the first day of winter. In this season of our lives, our winter began on May 3, 2007. It has been a long winter!

How long will this winter last? Some say it will last the rest of our life. That is a dismal thought.

I certainly expect to always miss Debbie. There will always be times of intense grief. But having times of grief and living in the winter of sorrow are not the same.

If you are experiencing a long winter of sorrow in your life, at some point it needs to dawn on you that you control when the winter will end.

You may not be ready for this. Your winter may have just begun. You may not be at a place where that you want the winter to end. That’s O.K. We all need a significant amount of time to just nurse our wounds. It is almost seems impossible to have hope for anything good in this life when you have lost someone so significant.

But if you are ready for winter to end, listen to me. There is a way to part the clouds and see the sun.

One of Debbie’s favorite Christmas movies was Scrooge. She liked the Albert Finney version the most. You know the story. A man is consumed with himself; consumed with preserving his wealth; consumed with his own needs and desires. His life is dismal.

He has an experience. He sees what life has been like and what life will be like if he does not change. He has to make a choice: live for him self or live for others.

Mr. Scrooge is so frightened by the experience and by what the future holds that He makes a major change. He decides to play second fiddle.

The moment he makes the change, the music begins. The story ends with Mr. Scrooge sharing all that He has with those in need. His winter is over.

Mr. Scrooge has a great hurt in his past. He allowed that hurt to make him Mr. Scrooge. Each one of us has the same choice. Live for your self or live for others. How long will your winter last?

Jesus taught us all this lesson by the way He lived. An abundant life is not found by holding on to your abundance. The bible calls it emptying your self for others. Will you?

I have been seeing signs of spring lately. It seems to happen every time I go out of my way to let someone else know how important they are to God and to me. I believe this winter is almost over.

By the way, today is my birthday. It’s O.K. My family started the celebration last Sunday at our annual Christmas brunch. I am richer because they are poorer. My children continued the celebration two days ago with another gift I enjoy. Yesterday, I got a call from a special angel and a gift from a new angel in my life. It is only 9:05am in the morning. I had a text message from the same angel waiting for me when I woke up. One dear family in our church has already called and sang to me over the phone. I have received numerous gifts through out the week. I have not counted the birthday cards I have received.

All of these people who are so dear to me are just practicing what I am preaching. It is wonderful to be the recipient. But it is more blessed to give then to receive. It can turn your winter into spring!

I am so ready for no more cloudy days. Join me.

Merry Christmas!

Jerry Wells

Merry Christmas, 2007

The great preacher Dr. Adrian Rogers said a marriage relationship is the closest we can come on earth to what relationships are like in heaven. My experience with Debbie would cause me to agree! Because of the terrible conditions in my family as child, as a young Christian I had a dream of what a marriage could be like if two people would follow God’s ways. After a rocky start, Debbie and I began to experience the promises of God in our relationship. At some point in the last five years, our relationship became better than what either of us had ever imagined. Our delight in one another surpassed anything that Hollywood could manufacture. We experienced a romance that is only made in heaven.

God’s plans for us can take us to highest peaks and the lowest valleys. In my lowest valley, it would be easy for me to conclude that God must be very cruel. By following God’s plan for marriage, Debbie and I reached the highest peak of human experience. Then suddenly, God’s plan plunged me into the lowest valley. I know people who conclude that it is better not to marry than to have such a passionate love and then lose it. They seem to be saying that they regret they followed God’s ways because of the intense sorrow that is created by losing your love.

What could add to my personal resentment at God is a circumstance that could also be interpreted as an act of cruelty. Since Debbie died, couples are standing in line for me to marry them. I will do more weddings this year and next year than I normally do in five. I also spend six hours with each couple in premarital counseling. I will not marry a couple unless they are willing to do this. Hour after hour I talk with each couple about how to follow God’s ways for marriage. Every lesson is tied closely to my marriage to Debbie. I cannot share these lessons without remembering her and how I was so blessed. I speak to each couple choking on my sorrow thru out our meetings.

Then there are the weddings. In every single one, when the doors open for the bride to enter, I can hardly contain myself. I stand there at the alter, not as a 52 year old Pastor, but as a 22 year old college graduate waiting on my bride, Debbie Mills. I have performed every ceremony with tear filled eyes.

What is God doing? I know I am chosen for this. My first name means one who exalts Jehovah. This is for His praise and His glory. He has given me a platform and the ability to communicate. He then reveals to me what He wants me to say. Please listen to someone who has been with God. He is near to the brokenhearted.

I want you to understand how special you are to the one true God. I know that you may not feel special. Life is difficult! I do not have to explain. It is hard to see just how special you are to God. If it was easy, you would not need faith. The fact that you are so special to Him is a theme that runs from Genesis to Revelation. He has chosen you to be one with Him. He wants you to walk with Him for all of eternity. He has paid the ultimate price to fulfill His plan for your relationship to Him.

Besides the Bible, God sends people into our life who share His image. He wants us to see how special we are to Him by how we are treated by these people. There will not be many of them. It is easy to miss them and the message God is sending us thru them in the midst of so many who are not true friends. Then even our best friends may fail us at times. Don’t allow humanity to keep you from missing the message. God sends special people into our lives to show us how special we are to Him.

Debbie was one of those people for me. In fact she is at the top of my list. I have never been loved like she loved me. Every day when we awoke in the morning, one of her main goals was to let me know that day how special I was. Day after day and year after year she labored to do this. In the midst of all of her other duties she would find ways to communicate to me how special I was.

Then it happened. At some point, this became one of my daily ambitions for her. In the midst of all of my other duties I would search for ways to communicate to her how special she was. This sent our relationship over the top of what either of us expected from marriage. We couldn’t wait to be with one another in those private moments. We were living a romance made in heaven.

She also lived this way for others. First there were her children and grandchildren. She was always looking for ways to let them know how special they are. Then there was our extended family. Then there were our family friends and our church family. She lived her life each day just trying to let other people know how special they were. This is why she loved helping people put together their photo albums. It was not a business for her. She loved to help ladies show their loved ones how special they are. This is why so many people would call Debbie their best friend. What a brilliant way to live.

The last seven and one half months of her life she out did herself or God out did Himself. In spite of battling cancer and enduring such harsh treatments, her star shined even brighter. It was never about her. It was always about letting others know they were special. It was in her eyes, her smile, and her words. To be in her presence her last months was the greatest miracle I have ever witnessed. Person after person was touched by how special she made them feel. We received letter after letter from her admirers that all say a similar message.

This was God’s image in her. What Debbie became was just Jesus shining thru her. She revealed how special we all are to God! She revealed how special you are to God.

You are so special to God. You have the witness of God’s Written Word. You have the witness of the people that He sends into your life who shares His image, who treat you the way Debbie treated me. But above all, you have the witness of God’s son. The birth, life, and death of Jesus are an endless announcement that you are special to God.

Will you hear the message this Christmas season? Will you receive the message this Christmas from someone who has been with God? He is near to the broken hearted.

From the Wells family to all of our family and friends, and to all those who receive this letter from our family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Thanksgiving 2007

Thanksgiving, 2007, our first without Debbie. My daughter-in-law Jill has done more than anyone could expect to help our family have a wonderful holiday. She adorned our house with the traditional thanksgiving dress of pumpkins and thanksgiving colors. She prepared a cherry cobbler for our Tuesday night dinner at church. It was gone almost as quickly as Debbie’s banana cake. She baked what is becoming one of our family’s favorite breads for our family feast. Most important, she brightened our house with her peaceful spirit that she wears every day.

When I awoke early on Thanksgiving morning the first thing that I noticed was the kitchen was quiet. Debbie was such an early riser. Most days, she would get up before me to pray and study God’s Word at her private alter.

It was her custom to rise early on Thanksgiving Day. When I would wake up on Thanksgiving Day, the door to our room would be open. I would hear the sounds of the kitchen-a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the electric mixer-the refrigerator door opening and closing-the hum of the oven. Then there was the music. Debbie would be either singing a Christmas song or a Christmas CD would be playing one of her favorite Christmas tunes.

Then there would be phone calls to one or more of her siblings or her mother who lived in Kermit, Texas. Her voice would ring out “Goooood Morning” or “Happy Thanksgiving,” as soon as someone on the other end of the line answered the phone. On this Thanksgiving morning, when I woke up and was lying in bed, the kitchen was quiet.

I made it through the morning at home secretly reliving various memories and then our family joined the Richey and Burgess families at the Richey’s new home for our Thanksgiving Celebration. Our annual feast was one of the best. Trent shared a wonderful devotional from the scripture on how there is a time for everything but God is with us each step of the way. My brother Jim and Sister Sandy and their families dropped by for a visit. Then we were off to the gym for our annual holiday basketball game. By the time I arrived home that evening with a very sore calf, the day was spent. I shed a bucket full of tears and went to bed.

When I woke up Friday morning, the first thing I heard was sounds coming from the kitchen. There was a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the refrigerator opening and closing-the hum of the oven, and there was music. It was a Christmas CD like the ones Debbie would have chosen.

When I turned the corner, there stood my oldest son Josh (age 29) making our family a holiday breakfast like the ones his mother fixed for him. As I looked at Josh I saw his mother. Within his 6’4” frame I sensed her spirit and her heart. In his eyes, I saw her character and the joy she had for serving us.

I was reminded again that although she is gone, she left behind a legacy of her beauty in all of her children. What she was is within them and this world is a much better place because of Debbie Wells.

Debbie would say, “It is because of Jesus!”

And because of Jesus we can see Debbie again. Until that day!

Jerry Wells

November 12, 2007

Saturday, November 10, I attended Homecoming at Oklahoma Baptist University. I graduated from OBU in May, 1977, which was also the year that Debbie and I married and moved to Fort Worth to attend seminary. I cannot believe that it has been 30 years!

At homecoming, I played basketball in the annual alumni basketball game for former players. My son Josh also attended OBU and played basketball so we were able to play together in this game for the very first time. This was a great thrill for me. I am very grateful that I am still healthy enough to play and compete at age 52 with my grandchildren looking on.

I saw many old friends that I had not seen in years. They had heard about Debbie and expressed their condolences. I had the opportunity to update my class at our 1977 class luncheon. It was difficult but I made it through it.

Many people asked me how I was doing and how the children were doing. What a difficult question to answer. When I tell them I am doing well, I feel like I am being dishonest because I remember what well was like before Debbie was diagnosed with cancer.

Compared to that well, I do not consider myself to be doing well.

“Well” has a new definition to me and I do not have time to explain this to everyone who asks, “How are you doing?” Well means I am experiencing great sorrow but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well means I am able to pull myself together after being curled up in a fetal position and I am still able to function and contribute to the well fare of others. Well means there are lots of good times and happy moments with my family and friends.

This is what well means…
2 Cor 4:8-10
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed --
NKJV

What an honest summation Paul gave of his life. Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down but not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed.

Paul experienced great sorrow but said that he was not in despair. To be in despair means to believe there is no way out.

There is a way out. It is called the resurrection. That is why Paul said in verse 14…
2 Cor 4:14
14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.
NKJV

I do not know if on this earth I will always feel the sorrow I feel now or to what degree I will feel this sorrow. It really doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to realize that many people feel this sorrow and that they have no hope that their feelings of sorrow will ever change.

Many reside in nursing homes, mental hospitals, V.A. Hospitals, burn centers, and cancer wards. Others live alone across the street from people like you and me. Others wander as homeless beggars through our streets. Many live as orphaned children in places like Africa where the average life span for men in some countries is about 40. I have been touched by the sorrow they feel. It has left a great impression on my soul. It grieves me that they do not have any hope.

It also grieves me that people who enter eternity without Jesus will experience this sorrow for all of eternity. Jesus will wipe every tear away from my eyes. Sorrow will no longer be one of my closest companions. But for those who are not in Christ their sorrow will never end.

God uses our troubles to make us sensitive to the troubles of others. As Paul said…
2 Cor 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
KJV

Experiencing sorrow changes us. It will either make us more into a selfish narcissist or it will enlarge our heart of compassion for others. My prayer is…
Ps 119:32
32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
KJV

Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chron 4:9-10
9 And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
KJV
I never considered that when I prayed the prayer of Jabez and asked God to enlarge my coast that He would first have to enlarge my heart through sorrow. Sometimes God enlarges the boarders of our ministry by first enlarging our heart of compassion through sorrow. He uses our own personal sorrow to stretch our hearts out to others. It is no accident that Jabez’s name means “to grieve and be sorrowful.”


Do I like it? No! Do I have pity parties at times? Yes! Am I thankful yet? No! God and I still have some work to do.

So how am I doing? “Well?” No! Debbie is doing Well. She is doing well because she is well. The tears have been wiped away.

But until that day may our faithful God keep enlarging our hearts and our boarders. When He uses sorrow to enlarge our boarders may He strengthen us with the hope that only comes from His presence and His promise of resurrection. And may the life that we live with sorrow bring hope to others who so desperately need it.


P.S. Please pray for my dear friend Woody Shoemaker and his six children. Gail, his beloved wife and mother to his children, died Saturday morning. She has been suffering from a brain tumor that was diagnosed last February. You can read about their journey on their blog.
http://www.xanga.com/the_shoemaker_update

This Part Of The Journey-Crying Out

This part of the journey is not one that I would have chosen for myself or my children. A few days ago, one of my adult children was at the house and their eyes were very red and swollen. Since they had just gotten to the house, I asked them if they had just come from the cemetery. Their answer was what I suspected. I asked them if they have these kinds of moments on a regular basis. They said yes and especially when they go to the cemetery.

This is a painful journey for our family. The pain is relative to different circumstances in our lives. I had no idea that people experienced this kind of emotional pain. I was so young when I lost my mother. I am now much more compassionate.

I would describe this emotional pain like those who have an ongoing permanent painful physical disability. Every day you wake up it is there. Some days it is better than others but it is always there.

We would never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that it is going to get better with time. Time does not heal all pain. But because of our compassion for those who are hurting, we want to give them hope. Sometimes a false hope is worse than no hope at all.

The truth is it may never get better. God heals the broken hearted but sometimes that healing is not complete until we get to heaven.

We would also never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that they should not be hurting. Or we would never tell them that it is inappropriate for them to hurt at certain times. This would not be very sensitive. A person who has experienced a great loss like ours cannot control when they hurt unless they take pain killers or go to sleep.

At times, I do avoid certain events so that I will not make others feel bad for me and ruin the evening for them. Some times I can anticipate how certain things are going to make me feel and I evaluate if it is really necessary for me to attend. There is nothing more uncomfortable then sitting through something that everyone else is enjoying with a large lump in your throat because you are holding back the tears. It also makes others feel uncomfortable if they know you are hurting. At this time in my life, it is hard to disguise. My tear ducts are so open they flow like an open water faucet when I feel the slightest tinge of grief.

So what do you do if the pain never gets better? Living with pain is not very American. The American Dream is the possibility of a life with every creature comfort you desire and no pain.

The truth is most Americans live with pain. That is why so many people in our country are addicted to something. It’s normal for people with pain to turn to pain killers.

Living with pain is a new experience for me but it appears to be a permanent one. I can now vaguely remember just a little over a year ago going whole days and even weeks without hurting emotionally. It is already hard to remember what that was like. I feel like I have been sheltered for years from what so many people have been experiencing all around me.

Since my Christian ethic does not permit me to turn to pain killers to relieve emotional pain, what can I do?

I cry out my tears alone a lot. This is God’s natural way for us to find pain relief. It is amazing to me how I can have an emotional melt down and cry violently for a few minutes and then feel good enough to do something productive. This happens a lot on Sunday mornings before I preach.

I cry out to God a lot. I have stopped asking Him to take away the pain. I just ask Him to help me be strong enough to glorify Him with the way I live in spite of the pain.

I cry out to other people a lot. I have a small group of friends that are comfortable with me telling them how I feel and why. These friends do not expect me to get over it. Their goal is be a good listener and pray for me. Some of them have gone through a similar experience and talk to me about their feelings. It is comforting to just talk about your feelings in a safe environment. I have come to realize that I have not been a very good listener to the hurting people in my life.

I know this does not sound very appealing. But I have realized that being victorious does not always mean being delivered from your pain. It means having the strength to endure the pain in a way that honors God. I have found crying out to be very helpful to reach this goal.

And there are a lot of happy moments that I do experience in the midst of the pain. Every night my three year old granddaughter Gwynneth finds me to hug me before she goes to bed. Thank you Jesus! And nearly every day my eleven month old grandson Caedmon tries to show me his manhood by climbing over another obstacle in our house. I affectionately call Caedmon caveman. Thank you Jesus! And then there is the look of wonder on Will’s face when he realizes that he has just learned something for school that we have been working so hard to memorize. Thank you Jesus! And then there are the new levels of maturity that I see developing in each one of my children. Thank you Jesus! And I still like good food and an O.U. victory. And I love seeing people in our church get a hold of a vital truth. Thank you Jesus! And there is the hope of heaven and my reunion with my hero, Debbie Wells. Thank you, thank you Jesus.

There is happiness in the midst of the pain. And there is joy unspeakable and full of glory. I just wish Debbie was here to share this life with me. Until that day!
J
Jerry Wells

Homework

Dear Friends and Family:

Will and I are experiencing something new. Homework! When Debbie and I were educating our children at home, our children were normally finished with school by the time that I got home in the evening. Now it is not unusual for Will and me to spend several hours together in the evening finishing his daily assignments and doing his homework.

Recently his grandmother asked what he liked most about going to Christian Heritage Academy. Will said it was the homework. I wish that I had the same attitude.

Is it the homework or is it the personal time with Dad? For a ten year old who has just lost his mother I would conclude that it is the personal time with Dad. His need for me is even greater since Debbie’s home going.

Who would have thought that something like homework would help meet Will’s need? Homework is normally something that students despise. Homework is normally something that students want to finish as quickly as possible. Homework is normally something that students dread.

God is always giving us homework. Our homework is those people and circumstances in our lives that we would rather avoid. But with each assignment God is meeting a great need in our life. Will’s homework makes him more dependent upon me. God’s homework makes us more dependent upon God.

May we all have the same attitude that Will has about His homework. May we see each assignment as God’s way to make us more dependent upon Him. And may we always delight in more personal time with our Heavenly Father!

Prayerfully,


Jerry Wells

An Update And A Request

Thanks again for supporting our family during such a time as this. Each prayer you offer on our behalf is pleasing to the Lord. I know that you are sharing His heart with us when you pray for us.

We are very busy. There are eleven of us living in my home. Josh and Jill and my two grand babies moved in with us in July. They have been such a tremendous help and support to us in so many ways. It is has been a smooth adjustment because of their maturity in the Lord. I am very grateful.

Josh is completing his last year of law school at OCU. He had done very well and we anticipate he will have several opportunities to start his practice when he is finished.

Besides Josh finishing law school, Zach is a junior at Mid American Christian University which is just down the road from us. That is where his fiancée Karla Davis also attends. It appears their wedding will be early next summer.

Jacob is my only child that is not living at the house. He is doing a remarkable job selling cars at Bob Howard Toyota in Edmond, Oklahoma.

Caleb is a full time student at Moore Norman Vocational Center. He is studying auto mechanics. This will be very helpful to the Wells since there are normally seven or more cars in our drive way at home.

Grace is taking 16 hours at OCCC, a local two year college. She is just getting her basics out of the way as she considers her major.

Jeremiah, Mercy, and William are all fully involved at Christian Heritage Academy thanks to the gifts that were given in Debbie’s honor. Jeremiah is playing football for the first time and it has been a great experience. Mercy has several new friends and is preparing to play basketball. I call her the best athlete in our family but she does not know it. William is literally a full time student. We have some catching up to do so Will and I normally spend several hours each evening doing his homework. All of the children are being challenged academically and are embracing the challenge. CHA is definitely exactly what we need at such a time as this. I am very grateful for this opportunity for my children.

I am very busy at church, preaching and teaching twice a week, counseling, and leading our wonderful staff. Our church has embraced our new lives and loved us beyond measure.

How are we doing emotionally? It is still very hard for all of us at times as you would expect. We all have our moments! But we enjoy one another and enjoy life like Debbie wanted us to do. She told me that she wanted our home to be a happy place where people would enjoy themselves. Jill has done a wonderful job creating that kind of atmosphere. There is lots of laughter again in spite of our moments.

I want to make an unusual request before all is lost. We are compiling all of our resources for the book that we plan to write about lessons that we learned from Debbie’s life. If you have any e-mails that you received from Debbie that would be helpful would you please send them to us before they are deleted and lost. If you have any stories in which you learned something from Debbie’s life, would you send us those stories and what you learned from her?

I know that this will not be easy for some of you. I have wept many tears re-reading her e-mails or recounting stories about her. But it is also very healing and it will be a great help to us. Obviously I cannot promise that we will use everything we receive in the book but whatever we receive will be maintained for our future generations.

Please send your e-mails from Debbie or stories about her to jerrywells@westernhillschurch.com or jerrywellsfam@gmail.com. You can send mail to our home at 6301 S.W. 123, Oklahoma City, OK 73173, if you need to send a copy of a letter that she wrote to you or send us some other information.

Friends are wonderful. Thank you for being there for us. Please let us hear from you.

Jerry Wells

Our First Day Of School At CHA

I have a new e-mail address at home.

It is jerrywellsfam@gmail.com

Dear friends and family:

This morning I took Jeremiah (17), Mercy (15), and William (10) to classes at Christian Heritage Academy for the first time. They were excited and somewhat apprehensive. The reality of our new life together really sank in when we pulled up to the building where nearly 700 other students were unloading from a mass of cars.

While I was there, I thought about how excited Debbie would have been if she was there this morning. I thought about the look of wonder and joy and relief on her face when we told her just a few days before she died that a way was being made for the children to attend CHA. I thought about how this would not be possible without all of you that have helped us and prayed for us.

Thank you for caring for us.

Jerry Wells

Copy Of Video Recording Of Debbie's Funeral Service

Dear Friends:

If you would like a copy of the video recording of Debbie's funeral service please use the form below to make an order. Due to the life that Debbie lived and the testimonies that were shared, we have heard from many people who attended the service that God changed their lives. We believe that Debbie's life message will continue to be a blessing to those on earth even as she enjoys her eternal life in heaven.

Jerry Wells
Psalms 40:1-3

Western Hills Church Video Productions Ministry

Debbie Wells Memorial Service
DVD Order Form

(please print clearly)

Last:_______________________ First:_________________
Address:__________________________________________
City:______________________ State:_____ Zip:_________
Phone: (____)____-________ Phone: (____)____-________
Email:____________________________________________

DVD Order Information:
Number of copies: _______
Number of copies x $10: $_______
Shipping and handling: $ 2.00
Sub total for purchase: $_______
Total amount enclosed: $______________

Please complete this form and mail with payment to:
Western Hills Church
401 SW 44th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73109

Call 405-634-1454 and ask for Brandon Werner if you have any questions.

Thank You!

My words are totally insufficient to express our gratitude for the love and support that each one of you have given to us during the last eight months. You have provided for our family a support system of prayer and service that has expressed the love of Christ for all of us. Thank you for standing with us at a time such as this.

The vacuum that our family feels is so vast that it cannot be measured. The grief and sorrow is like a giant wave at times and all we can do is surrender to it. We have learned that the best thing we can do during these times is cry and talk with one another and pray. The release makes us feel better until we experience the next wave.

The waves will get smaller with the passing of time and less frequent. As Debbie has been fully delivered from her suffering, one day we will be completely delivered from ours. Until then, I want to learn to be like her as she dealt with her sorrow the last eight months.

She was for all of our family a true champion of faith in the way she responded to her greatest trial. Watching her be joyful and be happy and loving to others day after day in the midst of her suffering was one of the greatest miracles I have ever witnessed. I can get grumpy just with a cold or a bad nights sleep.

Her personal journal reveals just how much she suffered. But in spite of her pain, she drew upon the Lord to be such a great blessing to us and to others.

God’s grace is sufficient in our every weakness. We just have to have the right goal for our life and be humble enough to receive the grace that He promises.

Debbie’s goal for her life was to honor the Lord and to bring glory to Him with the way she lived and treated others. She loved God when she discovered how much He loved her. His payment for her sin broke her and made her what she became.

Her humility was forged through a life of experiences in which she would come to the end of herself. I saw it happen over and over again at her private alter.

It was all of these experiences of brokenness at her private alter that prepared her for her greatest trial.

It was such a privilege to be married to someone like her and to be loved by her. Today marks the thirty first anniversary of the day that I proposed to her. Not everyone has the privilege of knowing the kind of love that Debbie and I shared as husband and wife. It takes two people who are committed to live out God’s Word in their relationship to have such an experience of love. God’s Word is the truth and those who follow His commands will be greatly blessed in the midst of the greatest of trials.

I am thanking the Lord today for what He has allowed us to experience together. We did not deserve it. We were just two lost sinners when He found us. It has been amazing to both of us why He still loved us.

And one day soon we will celebrate together His love for us. Please join us!

Jerry Wells

Carrying On Mom's Legacy

Thanks to all who came to Mom's service on Monday, and thank you to the many who have sent messages of condolence to our family. As near as we can tell, around 1,300 people attended the funeral.

Mom was definitely a hero of faith, and we, as a family, have a strong desire that her story continue to be told and her testimony continue to go out even after her death. We are looking at the different avenues available to us in order to accomplish this goal. One thing that is in the works is we will be attempting to make DVD's of Mom's "Mrs. PJ" skits available to the public. At this point we're not sure how many quality recordings we have, but there are a few. Other thoughts have been to write a book telling her testimony, or a devotional book based on her writings and her Mrs. PJ character. Obviously we have not had the opportunity to get into details yet, but I wanted you all to know that we are committed to promoting her testimony and legacy for as long as we possibly can. Mom's life was too powerful and precious to not share it with as many people as we possibly can.

Eventually a website will be set up devoted to Mom's ministry. Until then, I encourage you to continue checking this site regularly for updates.

The family has been coping fairly well over the past few days. As the hubbub surrounding the final days of Mom's life and her burial subsides, we all feel the implications of her loss more deeply. We are trying to adjust to a new type of normalcy that doesn't really seem normal at all.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers. Again, if you have a testimony of how Mom has touched your life, I encourage you to send it by May 11 so we can include it in the book we are creating for our family to honor her legacy. You can email them to jandjwells@cox.net.

Josh

A Change In Hours Of Viewing Today

Mom's body is resting at Advantage Bransetter Merritt Funeral Home at 7720 S. Penn. The funeral home is located just south of I-240.

Today's viewing hours have been changed from 9:00am to 5:00pm. If you would like to visit with Dad and some of the other family members at the funeral home, they will be there today from 4:00pm-5:00pm.

Viewing hours tomorrow will be from 8:00am-11:00am at the funeral home. There will also be a viewing before the service begins at the church in the foyer south of the auditorium.

Due to the large crowd we are expecting there will not be a viewing at the end of the service. Also due to the expected crowd, there will be two over flow rooms with video and audio feeds if the auditorium becomes too crowded. We considered having the service in a larger place, but we know that Western Hills is home and so dear to Mom's heart. There will be a number of guests books to sign. Please take the time to sign one of them. This will mean alot to us.

Parking will also be an issue. Besides the parking lots at the church, there are many side streets around the church where parking is permitted.

The family would like to personally greet and thank everyone of you for attending Mom's service. This will not be possible at the service because of the large crowd. We will be available at the cemetery after Mom's burial. Mom will be buried immediately after the service at a new cemetery located at S.W. 119 and Interstate 44 just two miles from our home.

If you unable to make it to the cemetery, please accept now our most heart felt gratitude for your love and support.

The Wells Children

Mom's Legacy

As I've mentioned before, I am taking the email messages and testimonies I have received and we are binding them into a book for our family.

If you have a specific testimony about Mom that is on your heart, either a specific event or a specific way that Mom has touched your life, please send it to me at jandjwells@cox.net. So many of you have already done this, but I want to give you all a final opportunity to honor Mom in this way.

I'll be trying to get this done fairly soon, so please try to get your testimonies to me by May 12.

Again, I'm so grateful for all of the emails and messages you have sent. We have received well over 1,000 messages for Mom. I've received over 500 in the past 3 weeks alone. We have read each and every one of them.

Josh

Viewing

Mom's body is resting at Bransetter Merritt Funeral Home at 7720 S. Penn. The funeral home is located just south of I-240. Viewing hours are 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM on Saturday, May 5, and 9:00 AM to 8:00 PM on Sunday, May 6.

Josh

5:37 PM, May 3, 2007

Mom's service will be held at 2:00 PM on May 7. It will be held at Western Hills Church on SW 44th and Walker in Oklahoma City.

I lieu of flowers, please give a gift for Mom to William, Jeremiah and Mercy's tuition at Christian Heritage Academy. Instructions for giving are to the right, and if you would like the entire story, read the blog post entitled "A Way to Give Back to Mom."

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Josh

1:33 PM, May 3, 2007

Mom passed away a little after 1:00 PM today. She went peacefully and with her family surrounding her.

I'll be posting details about her service as I get them.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Josh and the entire Wells Family

11:53 PM, May 2, 2007

Tonight, Mom's blood pressure was 80/60. Her pulse rate is still over 130. She wasn't able to speak today, but she was able to blow a kiss to the grandkids and mouth "I love you" to each of us.

She did not seem to be in pain.

Thanks for your continued prayers.

Josh

12:25 PM, May 2, 2007

Mom really enjoyed William's baptism last night. She eased off on her pain medication so she could be cognizant and alert for it. It was easily the highlight of her day.

It is becoming more and more difficult to manage Mom's pain and keep her comfortable. She is herself less and less. Her pulse rate has been extremely high, over 130, and her blood pressure has been low for several days now.

I was not able to read any emails to her yesterday because of her condition while I was with her, but I encourage you to continue sending them and I will read them to her at the first opportunity.

We have received so many testimonies of what Mom has meant to the lives of those she has touched. Our plan is to bind them all in a book and keep it as a legacy that our family can appreciate for generations.

Throughout this entire situation, we have all been blessed by evidence of the Lord's care for our family. One such incident happened last year. For years and years, one of the desires of Mom's heart was to go to Africa with a ministry called Reaching Souls International. Dad and I had been with them nearly 15 years ago where we helped train indigenous pastors in evangelism and discipleship techniques. We then spent a week preaching the Gospel in the streets and marketplaces of Bujumbura, Burundi.

Mom had never been able to go. A trip is a 3-4 week long commitment, and there were always young children to care for and other responsibilities she could not leave for that amount of time. Finally, in 2006, she was able to go. My sister Grace went with her. They spent a week training pastors and their wives and then preached the Gospel in the public areas of Arusha, Tanzania. They saw over 6,000 people come to know the Lord.

You can hear Mom's testimony about the trip by going here:

http://www.reachingsoulsinternational.org/multimedia.html

She returned from Arusha in August, and in September she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I know the Lord's timing was in it. He gave her a desire of her heart before He put her through this trial. It's just another evidence that He cares about all those who serve Him and desires to give them good things.

Mom has been blessed, as has our family. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Josh

9:56 PM, April 30, 2007

Today was fairly uneventful. Mom continues to lose some of her alertness. When she is awake she still recognizes people fairly well and can follow conversations. She's dreaming or hallucinating more and more.

William, the youngest of the 8 siblings, is going to be baptized tomorrow evening at 6:00 on the back patio so Mom can see it. I know this will mean a lot to her.

We continue to try and keep her as comfortable as possible. She's still enjoying her cherry limeades. I've been reading your emails and messages to her every day.

Thank you all again for your prayers and support.

Josh

12:34 AM, April 29, 2007

This is the fourth day in a row that Mom has gotten noticeably weaker. For the most part she is comfortable with little pain and nausea, but her ability to keep alert or communicate has gotten progressively worse as the days have gone by.

She still recognizes us and is able to follow conversations, but her ability to interact is almost non-existent at this point. I’m convinced that her spirit remains the same as it has always been. Occasionally her eyes will open, focus on you, and she almost looks healthy again, but it passes quickly after two or three words and then she has to rest once more.

This is one of the most difficult things about the disease. Mom is tantalizingly close, but her body only allows flashes of her to show through. You would love to have a good talk with her and hear her encouraging words, and you know she feels the same, but her body won’t allow her to engage.

I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:12. “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

We now see Mom through a glass, darkly.

Far from being a discouraging thought, for Christians, this should bring us great joy. Even though we see through a glass, darkly, our walk with Christ is still such a wonderful thing. As I see a living example of knowing a person through a glass, darkly, I look forward excitedly to when I can know fully. If the difference between knowing Mom when she was healthy and knowing her now is anything like knowing Christ fully and knowing Him now, then we truly have something to look forward to.

It is also an example of how I should seek a deeper relationship with Christ. I have such a strong desire to have one good conversation with Mom. I feel like I’ve said all the things I need to say to her, and I’ve heard everything I need to hear from her, but when I’m with her I would give just about anything to talk normally about anything with her. I want that relationship which her weakened state denies me. In the same way, we should long to break through that glass and have a relationship with Christ. It is our weakened state that denies us that full relationship, but we have a hope that as we strive to become more like Christ, our relationship can grow and eventually be full.

The past several days, Mom has mentioned several times people she knows that are lost. She wants to be sure they have the blog address so they can hear her testimony and come to know the Lord. I’m sure none of you are surprised that the eternal lives of others are her greatest concern as she endures this trial.

We are still praying for a miracle. Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Josh

9:16 AM, April 27, 2007

Mom had a very difficult day yesterday. She was very weak and fading in and out.

With Mom's situation, it is difficult at times to tell what symptoms are being caused by her illness and what are being caused by her medication. It is a delicate balance in trying to manage her pain and give her some quality of life.

As the day wore on, Mom actually appeared to get a little stronger. Dad, Zach, Jacob and I spent 2-3 hours talking with her last night...most of the time we spent laughing, which was good for us and for Mom. She was also provided with a cherry limeade from Sonic, one of her favorite drinks in the world. She made sure that we only got her a kiddie size because, "She didn't want to be addicted."

I told her that with all the things being put into her body, cherry limeade addiction was the least of my concerns. You've never seen anyone enjoy a cherry limeade like Mom did last night. Zach said it looked like a religious experience. After watching the way she enjoyed that drink, I was actually a little worried about cherry limeade addiction.

Mom even sang a little Hank Williams for us, as she told us about her mother and how she used to sing "Hey Good Lookin'" as she washed the dishes back in Kermit, Texas. She managed to add some hand motions as well.

We're hoping today is a better day than yesterday. She really exerted herself getting home on Wednesday, and she had not had nourishment for about 48 hours. She's now getting the nourishment again and has had a full day of rest, so we're praying that makes a difference.

Your emails and messages continue to be a blessing. I read the latest messages to her yesterday afternoon, and they really pick her spirits up. Our thanks to all of you who take the time to write and pray.

Josh

2:14 PM, April 26, 2007

Mom made it home yesterday afternoon. She was amazed by all the work that had been done to the house. Several people from their church came together and redecorated the living room. They purchased a new sofa and recliner as well as coffee tables, end tables, rugs, lamps, and other items. Everything looked amazing. Mom was absolutely overjoyed and just wanted to sit and stare at her new room.

Caleb, Zach, and one of their friends, spent several days doing landscaping work to the front of the house. They put in new pavers and created a new walkway. They also planted dozens of flowers and several shrubs. It looks unbelievable. Mom was ecstatic. This is something that Mom has wanted done for years, and she was so excited to see her vision become a reality.

As to her health, the last 24 hours have been uneventful, which is a good thing. Her pain has been managed well and she is alert for good periods of time. Her spirit remains unchanged. She is still the same joyful person that she has always been, and spends most of her time encouraging those around her.

Several of the ladies from Western Hills Church have volunteered to sit with Mom every day so there is always somebody nearby to help. This is a great thing for Dad, as he can take time to rest knowing she is in good hands. At night a nurse comes and spends the night with her, making sure she is comfortable and stable.

The church body has responded in an amazing way throughout this entire situation. Mom and Dad's church (Western Hills Church) has stepped in and met every possible need. They have done many special things that have brought joy to Mom and the rest of our family. Our church body (Northwest Baptist Church) has also stepped in to meet many of our needs. Meals have been brought, our home was cleaned, laundry done, and children kept with numerous offers of further help should we need it. It is difficult to think that many people go through situations just like ours and do not have a church family to support them. We would not be able to handle this situation with the peace and faith that we have without the support of our churches and our extended family.

Mom's family has been here throughout the ordeal, helping in any way they can. Dad's family has also been with us constantly, giving themselves in any way they can to meet our family's needs.

Your emails and messages have also been very important. Mom has read each and every one of them. On several days I have given Mom a manila folder filled with 30 pages or more (12 point single spaced) of encouraging words and tributes of gratefulness for her impact. Not only does this lift her spirits, but it will be a great legacy for future generations of Wells.

Anybody who has been involved in church knows with their minds that God loves them. John 3:16 is probably the most memorized verse in the Bible. It is in circumstances like these that He uses human beings to tangibly demonstrate His love. I hope it is a blessing for you to be used as a conduit for Christ's love. It has been a great blessing for our family to receive it.

Josh

10:17 AM, April 25, 2007

Mom spent last night in the hospital. She was stable and comfortable. The only reason she stayed one more night in the hospital is so that we could work out hospice care for her at the house.

Finding good hospice care is such a difficult decision because of the costs involved and our desire to find somebody who will truly have Mom's comfort and well-being at heart. We praise the Lord for God's provision.

Dear friends of our family stepped in and provided home health care for Mom free of charge. We can't tell you how grateful we are that Mom will be cared for and made comfortable in this way. It is a major answer to prayer. We are amazed at the love the Lord has shown our family through His Body.

Mom will be going home later this afternoon.

I'm going to post the information again for those who would like to give a gift for Mom towards William, Mercy, and Jeremiah's education. If you would like the full story, please read the entry entitled "A Way to Give Back to Mom" posted on April 24, 2007.

If you would like to give a gift, you may give the gift directly to Christian Heritage Academy. Mark the gift towards the “Wells Family Tuition Aid”. CHA is a 501C3 non-profit organization, so all gifts are tax deductible. Their address is 4400 SE 27th Street, Del City, OK 73115.

If you want to make your gift anonymous, please indicate that as well. Otherwise, the school will provide us with a list of names (not amounts) so our family can express their gratitude.

Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers. Your emails and messages of encouragement continue to bless my parents. I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to all of you, but know that we are grateful for every thought and word sent.

Josh

A way to give back to Mom

As Mom has journeyed through this situation, she has done so with remarkable peace and faith in the Lord. There have been times when she was staggered. Bad reports have a way of knocking the wind out of you. It was especially difficult when we found out that she had two new spots on her liver after we had received the good report on her just a few weeks earlier, but through it all she has maintained her faith in the Lord’s plan. She knows that she is in His hands, and that her family is as well.

Through this entire ordeal, Mom had one burden that weighed heavily upon her heart. Her three youngest children, Jeremiah, Mercy, and William, were still in school, and Mom worried about their education once she could not continue to provide it for them.

As most of you probably know, other than myself, our entire family has been home educated for the entirety of their school days. I was home educated from the 3rd grade on. This past year was very difficult for the children and Mom as they tried to continue their schooling as she received her chemo treatments. Feeling as if the children did not get the kind of time and attention they needed, she began to look for other options.

After looking at viable options, Mom felt at peace about only one of them, and that was to send the children to Christian Heritage Academy. She felt at peace about CHA because of the Godliness of the school’s founder, Ralph Bullard, and the schools current headmaster, Josh Bullard. They teach a Christ centered curriculum and have high academic standards. The staff are all Believers and Mom knew that it would be a safe place for her children to grow and learn.

Over the past several months, Mom did the work necessary and put in the paper work for the children to enroll at CHA. As her health deteriorated over the past several weeks, she became even more convinced that the Lord had led her to prepare for her children’s education in this way.

The only issue was provision. Several weeks ago, Dad informed Mom that the Lord would have to provide a way for the children to go. As their finances currently stand, it would not be possible for them to afford sending 3 children to Christian Heritage.

As Mom was in her early days at the hospital last week, she was in tremendous pain. As those around her would pray for her physical pain to cease, Mom would pray out loud that the Lord would provide for her children and ease that burden on her mind.

As my Grandmother Joy listened to Mother’s cries for her children, the idea came to her that a trust should be set up in Mom’s name with the funds going towards the children’s education at CHA. She wanted confirmation that this idea was from the Lord, so she sought the counsel of Godly men. They confirmed the idea, and the process was set in motion.

The next day, Mom was again in severe pain. As Grandmother sat and prayed for her physical comfort, Mother again asked the Lord to provide for her children and relieve her of that mental burden. Joy said, “What if I told you that the children’s education is going to be provided for?”

Mom immediately broke down in tears of relief and gratitude. Grandmother explained the idea of the trust as Mom thanked the Lord for His provision. She has been at peace ever since that day. She has felt mentally and emotionally prepared for whatever else may come.

Many of you have asked, "What you can do for Mom or the family?" This is one of the greatest gifts you could give my Mother. She wants her three youngest children especially, to see evidence that the Lord will watch over them and meet their every need, even if He is not able to meet those needs through her any longer. It is also a way for her to help provide for her children’s future.

It will cost approximately $80,000 to send all three children to Christian Heritage Academy for the rest of their elementary and high school educations. Jeremiah will be a junior; Mercy a sophomore; and William will be in the 4th grade. This amount would pay for them all to graduate from Christian Heritage. As we attempt to project current costs over the next 8 years or so, it will cost around $5,800 per year for each of them to attend.

If you would like to give a gift, you may give the gift directly to Christian Heritage Academy. Mark the gift towards the “Wells Family Tuition Aid”. CHA is a 501C3 non-profit organization, so all gifts are tax deductible. Their address is 4400 SE 27th Street, Del City, OK 73115.

If you want to make your gift anonymous, please indicate that as well. Otherwise, the school will provide us with a list of names (not amounts) so our family can express their gratitude.

As I said, I know many of you have felt the urge to do something for Mother, and perhaps this opportunity will meet a need for you as well as for Mom and our family.

I again want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Our family is truly blessed.

Josh

3:43 PM, April 24, 2007

Mom's procedure went as planned. As of now she is planning to check out of the hospital today. She should come home this evening.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Josh

11:03 AM, April 24, 2007

Mom is scheduled to have the procedure done that will insert the pump directly into her stomach at Noon today.

If all goes well and she is stable, she will be able to go home tonight. Pray that she will be stable, that her blood pressure and heart rate will be right, and that she will be able to head home tonight.

Josh

11:34 AM, April 23, 2007

Mom and Dad met with their doctor this morning. It appears that there is no hope in man at this point, so we are totally in the "God Zone" as my Uncle Trent said. Obviously we have always been in the "God Zone", but if Mom is to be healed, it will be solely through a miracle of His healing hand.

Mom is in very good spirits and standing on faith. She has not accepted that this is the last word on her life on this earth. The Lord can heal, and has healed others in similar circumstances. As a family, we are reliant upon His will to be done.

We have basically been told that the cancer Mom has is more aggressive than anything they’ve ever seen before. It is growing and spreading faster than any treatment they have can work. They said they were willing to walk with her through more chemo, or support her decision to go home. She will have a tube placed in her stomach on Tuesday to continue to drain the excess fluid and gas off her intestines and stomach. She will be going home soon after that.

As a son, I feel fortunate to be in the position that I find myself currently. Too many children never fully grasp the importance and impact of their parent's lives. As I take each of your emails, copy and paste them into a Word document for easier reading, and print them off for Mom and Dad, I am in awe at the widespread influence of their lives. The emails range from dear friends who they've known for years, to the random person who has only heard them speak in large gatherings or who has been ministered to by somebody else who Mom and Dad ministered to. Each and every email contains a story of gratefulness for Mom and Dad's lives or a heartfelt prayer.

Several nights ago I cried out to the Lord in anger over our family's situation. It is difficult to understand why bad things happen to people like my Mom. I have been especially grieved by the fact that my children may not have her in their lives any longer.

When I took over the job of updating the blog and receiving emails, I did so as a way to relieve the burden on my Dad, but the Lord knew what He was doing. He knew I needed to see how He has impacted so many lives through my parents. As a pastor's child, you know in an abstract way that what your family is doing and what your parents are doing is having an impact for Christ's kingdom. Because the impact of Mom and Dad's ministry tends to be so personal, it is very rare that you get to see and hear tangible evidence of how much their work has meant to those they have touched. It is not so rare to see your parents go through situations where you feel they are mistreated, abandoned or taken for granted. Those circumstances tend to be much more public. As a result, it is a constant battle for a pastor's family to love the Body of Christ and to support their parent's work. Seeing your messages of thanks and heartfelt prayers has not only brought peace to me about the current situation, but it has brought peace and perspective to my life as a pastor's child as well. Every child should have the opportunity to experience what I have experienced over the past weeks and months. The circumstances have been difficult, but I know the Lord is in it.

As I said earlier, it is difficult to understand why the Lord would put Mom and Dad through such a difficult situation. It is hard for my limited mind to grasp the logic in Him allowing people who are doing His work to go through difficult trials or even removing them from their work on earth. I believe God is a logical God, not a random being who acts on a whim. His creation is evidence of His planning and logic. When His actions seem illogical to us, it is only because we do not know all the facts and because God operates on a plane of existence that we cannot fully comprehend in our human state. Some facts we may never know until we get to heaven, others we as humans tend to ignore.

As I look at the current situation, I believe that there is logic in it. As I think on why God may take Mom at such a young age when it seems she has so much work left to accomplish for Him, I am reminded of the fact that this life is merely a vapor, a wisp, a puff of air in the grand scheme of eternity. Knowing that God is a logical God, I find it hard to believe that He would make our short time here on earth the most important part of our existence. Mom's most important tasks are still at hand, and she cannot begin them until He takes her to be with Him.

Selfishly I am still praying that He will leave her here for awhile longer for my benefit, Dad’s benefit, the benefit of my siblings, and that of my wife and children. I know that His timing is perfect.

Josh Wells

8:53 PM, April 22, 2007

Mom wasn't as well today as she has been the past several. She had some severe nausea this morning. They gave her some medication, but it has made her very tired. She fades in and out of alertness and doesn't really have the strength to hold conversations anymore.

Dad and Mom will talk to their doctor tomorrow morning and make a decision on the next course of action. Their are really two choices: Mom can start another round of chemo with the knowledge that the chances of it being successful are negligible, or she can go home and allow the Lord to either heal her or take her home. Obviously this is a very difficult decision to consider. Pray for wisdom as they try to hear what the Lord would have them do.

Your messages really lift Mom and Dad's spirits. I encourage you to continue to send them. If you have anything you would like to say to Mom, then now is the time. Don't leave anything unsaid that you feel prompted to say.

I would also encourage you to send words of encouragement for Dad. He really needs the support of his friends and the Body of Christ, whom he has given his life ministering to.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. Our family truly appreciates them.

Josh Wells

3:05 AM, April 21, 2007

Debbie had another good day today. She was very comfortable when we saw her tonight. Those who know her will not be surprised that much of the time we spent with her today, she was encouraging us. She has a worship CD playing in her room that she sings along with when she feels up to it, and she is constantly praying for those who are visiting her and giving them encouragement.

She continues to run a fever and her white blood cell count is high, which indicates there is still an infection in her body. Her pulse rate is higher than it should be. It has not dropped below 100 in several days, even though she is doing nothing but sitting. Pray for these things to correct themselves.

Thank you for all your prayers and messages. She loves reading them and they are a great encouragement. She has mentioned multiple times that it means so much to her that you all are praying for specific circumstances that are taking place. If you have a message for Debbie, I encourage you to send it to jandjwells@cox.net and we will make sure she gets it.

Josh

Debbie's Character

This note was written by Jill Wells, Debbie's daughter-in-law. She wanted to share it with those who know and love Debbie.

I was remembering today the joy Jerry experienced when Josh was able to give a testimony on his behalf for the congregation of Western Hills Baptist Church recommending that they receive him as their pastor. I wrote the below note to a friend yesterday and I feel the Lord prompting me to share this with you all, that I may be a testimony on Debbie’s behalf. Knowing I may not always have the courage to express my true feelings verbally and openly, I do however long to praise her publicly. May God bless you

Responding to the question how are you? …It is strange because I will think about Debbie’s physical pain and I’m sad. Then as I continue to think about her I can’t help but be joyful. She is such an encouraging, smiling, caring, loving, energetic and joyful person that when I think of a memory or moment we’ve shared I’m comforted again. I can’t wrap my mind around how well she loves me, loves us all really. With her encouragement I have accomplished more than I had in years spiritually, physically, emotionally, as a wife, as a mother…. And it was truly an unconditional free gift. Debbie is this amazing reflection of knowing the Lord. Debbie reminds me of Jeremiah 17:7 'Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will ceases from yielding fruit.' It is obvious that she has deep roots in the Lord. She stays by the river and her thirst is ever quenched by His through His power; green and ever fruitful.My biggest fear is the possibility that I will be walking for many years to come without her example and advice. And I wonder: how will I become like her if she is not around to show me? But I know that she is only a mirror of my Savior and that he will continue to polish me up and use me too. So I am absolutely grateful to have known and to know her now because she is still showing me His joy and allowing Jesus to shine in the darkness.

Jill

3:35 PM, April 20, 2007

Thank you all for your prayers. I've received dozens of messages from people all over the world to let us know they are praying for Debbie and our family along with great words of encouragement. I want each of you to know that I am printing your messages out and Debbie and Jerry are reading all of them. They have been great encouragement.

Our family has a strong history of prayer and seeing God answer prayer. My grandfather Bob Burgess was a great man of prayer. He walked with the Lord and the Lord listened to his requests and answered. My father Jerry also walks with the Lord, and over my 28 years on this earth I have seen the Lord work in miraculous ways on more occasions than I can count. I know many of you who are reading this were led to deeper levels of commitment to prayer through Jerry's work and encouragement. Many years ago, Jerry began to keep a journal of prayer requests along with information about when and how these prayers were answered. It is truly a testimony of God's power. I say all of this so that each of you know that we are and have been a family of prayer and faith for many decades now, and when we know that you are praying for us, it is meaningful to our family in a very tangible way.

Today has been another good day for Debbie. She probably overexerted herself a little yesterday because she felt so much better, and as a result she had some times of severe pain. Overall she has been fairly comfortable.

Continue to pray that the Lord will remove the infection. Mom's oxygen levels and blood pressure have come back into a good range. Continue to pray for mental and emotional strength.
On Monday the doctors are going to give more chemo options, and treatment would start then. They have told us that the chances of chemo curing her cancer at this point are negligible. They place the odds at 10% that it will have any impact at all, and the odds are quite a bit less that she will be able to make any type of recovery to a normal life.

Some hard decisions are going to be made over the next four days. Pray that Debbie and Jerry will have wisdom, and that the doctors will as well.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Josh

2:26 AM, April 20, 2007

Debbie had a much better day today. They have inserted a tube through her nose and into her stomach that is pumping out excess fluid and air. It has done wonders in relieving her pain. It was encouraging to see her up and alert today after the last several days being so difficult for her. Continue to pray that she will be comfortable physically.

The underlying medical issues remain the same. The infection is still present at this point. They’re trying a battery of antibiotics to get this taken care of. Once this is done they’ll start the new chemo treatments.

One other issue that has come up is that Debbie’s oxygen levels in her blood have been dropping over the past day or so. Her inactivity makes it difficult to keep these levels up. Please pray that they will come back up.

Somebody is staying with Debbie 24/7. Even though the pain has been relieved to a degree with the fluid being pumped out, she is still reliant on pain medication to keep her comfortable. She is needing less, but she has to insert the pain medicine through her IV every 30 minutes to keep comfortable. We’re reminding her to push it herself while she is awake, and when she’s sleeping we press it for her.

Debbie, Jerry and our entire family appreciate everybody’s thoughts and prayers. Any replies I get to these emails I print off and give to Debbie and Jerry. Debbie said today that knowing others know what specific events are taking place and knowing they are praying for those specific events really raises her spirits. I encourage anybody to send a message to Debbie and Jerry to my email address (jandjwells@cox.net), and I’ll be sure they receive it. Dad is not really checking his email right now, so if you want to get them a message, my email is the best way to go. It means a lot to them to hear from all of you.

Continue to pray for God’s will. While our will is a miracle healing, we want God’s will even more. Please pray that we can bring our thoughts and feelings into line with what we know in our hearts as believers in Christ. God’s plan is perfect.

Josh

8:39 AM, April 19, 2007

Debbie spiked a fever last night, letting the medical staff know that she does have an infection in her body. They believe it's in her intestines. Last night they were able to drain off about a liter of fluid and some air from her intestines. This has made her much more comfortable. She was able to have a fairly restful and pain free evening.

Because of the infection, they will not be able to start chemo treatments today. Please pray that the infection would clear. She cannot continue to take her nourishment from an IV indefinitely, and the only hope for her to be able to eat normally at this point is for the chemo treatments to shrink the blockage that is causing her issues.

Josh

April 18, 2007

Debbie is still in the hospital. Her latest CT scan showed that the two spots on her liver have roughly tripled in size. She is also continuing to experience nausea and pain from a blockage in her intestines. They assume that the cancer is causing the blockage. She cannot keep down any food or liquid at this time without severe pain and nausea. She is being nourished through IV.

At this point the plan is to start an experimental form of chemotherapy as soon as they are sure there is no infection present in Debbie's system. Hopefully this will take place in the next 24 hours or so.

Please pray for rest and pain relief for Debbie. She is being constantly medicated for the pain and nausea, 24/7, and even with that she still experiences periods of severe pain.

Pray for Jerry especially. The situation is difficult in and of itself, but being in the hospital for most of every day weighs on one's spirit. Also pray for the younger children, William, Jeremiah and Mercy. This has probably been the most difficult period of days for the entire family, and it is especially difficult on the kids who are still living at home.

The situation is grave, but our family has faith in the Lord's plan for Debbie and for each of us. Please pray that His plan would be revealed to Jerry and each of us as many decisions are being made that do not have clear right or wrong answers.

Thanks,
Josh Wells

April 17, 2007 Update

April 17, 2007

Debbie’s condition remains the same. (Nausea, Extreme pain in right side of abdomen.) The doctors are still not sure of the source.

There are no new developments other than her white blood cell count has elevated. She has had a series of blood tests to check for an infection.

She cannot begin chemotherapy until it is determined that she does not have an infection.

Please continue to pray with us for God to be merciful to us. I am reminded of what Paul said about Epaphroditus.
Phil 2:27
27 For indeed he was sick nigh unto death: but God had mercy on him; and not on him only, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.
KJV
May God be merciful to us in the same way he was for Epaphroditus and those that loved him.

April 16, 2007 Update

I admitted Debbie to the hospital on Sunday morning. She was dehydrated from not being able to hold any thing down and she has had this awful pain in her side.
She is scheduled to begin another round of chemo therapy today.

The doctors are running tests in their attempts to discover what is causing the pain in her side and the nausea. Please pray for the pain and nausea to disappear.

Our circumstances do not look good at this point. I will not go into any detail. It is difficult to hope for what you desire from God when every circumstance seems to be leading to a different result.

Moses saw the red sea and pharaoh’s army. Israel saw the giants in the land of Canaan. Gideon saw the size and strength of his enemies. David often speaks about being surrounded by his enemies and the enemies of Israel. Paul faced unbelievable odds that could have kept him from fulfilling his mission.

We have found that you can either just accept whatever your circumstances say is going to happen or you can put your hope in God knowing He has the power and authority to change your circumstances. Debbie has chosen to put her hope in God and ask Him to change her circumstances. So every day many times a day she comes before his throne, praising Him for who He is and offering Him her requests.

And instead of just waiting on the results that would be reasonable to accept, she waits on God to perform a miracle. She has seen many miracles during her life time. And she would tell you that the greatest miracle has been how Jesus Christ saved her from sin and changed her heart, her attitudes, her words, her motives, and her actions. She would tell you about our nearly 30 years of marriage and her love for being a mother of eight children. She would tell you about her purpose for life and the abundant life that she has known because Jesus changed her. What a miracle!

And now she waits for another one. Please pray with us for this miracle!

One Hundred And Eightyfive Days After Surgery

Dear Family and Friends:

I apologize for not sending you and update sooner. Our computer at home is not working and I have not been in the church office since Tuesday.

Debbie has been feeling very ill. She has been experiencing sharp pains in her abdomen. On Wednesday morning about 2:00am she became very nauseated and could not hold anything down. This is Saturday and her condition has not changed. We have been to the doctor on several occasions and at this point they are not sure what is causing the problem.

Deb became dehydrated so yesterday she received IV Fluids. An Ultrasound was also done on her kidneys and other internal organs but they were inconclusive as of the first reading. The lab work on her blood was fine. There does not appear to be any infection. Her red blood count is good and so in her hemoglobin. It does not appear that she has a urinary tract infection from the urology report.

You may remember that the CAT Scan on March 20 showed two new lesions. One was on her liver. The other was in her abdomen cavity. A blood test also showed her CA 125 count had elevated. This gave our doctor two witnesses to believe that the new lesions are malignant. A third would be how Debbie has been feeling.

The plan is for Debbie to begin a new round of chemotherapy treatments on this Monday at 2:00pm. Whether or not she will be able to begin will be determined by her physical condition.

Our plan is to care for her at home today. If there is not any change, we will talk to the doctor about having her admitted to the hospital tomorrow so she can be rehydrated and other tests can be run.

Please pray for healing for Debbie’s digestive system and for the nausea to be gone. Please pray for the source of her pain in her abdomen to be healed. Please pray for God to give us strength and faith to trust in Him.

Jerry

One Hundred And Seventyfive Days After Surgery

We met with out doctor yesterday. Debbie has been running a fever since last Friday and he wanted to run some tests and do some lab work. We should get some results back today.

He also shared with us that He had reviewed the CAT scan from March 20 and definitely felt that there were two new lesions that are worrisome for metastases. The previous lesions were stable or could not be seen on the CAT scan. He recommended that Debbie be placed in another clinical trial and receive more chemotherapy. This trial would not use the same drugs. Debbie has evidently grown resistant to the drugs that were used and so has the cancer. He would like to start this new trial within the next two weeks.

Please pray that we will know the Lord’s will with regards to his recommendation. Please continue to stand with us for Debbie to be healed. Please pray for the source of the fever to be discovered and removed.

I am so fortunate to be Debbie’s husband. And our children are so blessed to be Debbie’s children. And I know that those of you that know Debbie feel that you are so blessed to have her as a friend. Her faith and spirit are a constant source of faith and encouragement to our family even though she is the one who is suffering physically from this illness. God continues to keep her singing. Her trust in Him as His daughter is so real. And we are so grateful for each day that we have with her.

Jerry

One Hundred And Sixtyseven days After Surgery

We met with our doctor today. There were two new developments on the latest CAT Scan that in the medical world they call “worrisome for metastases disease.” The CAT Scan showed a new development in Debbie’s liver and in her abdomen. These two lesions are small but new. The plan is to have another CAT Scan and blood test done in six weeks to see if there has been any change before our doctor makes any more recommendations for further treatment.

It is hard not to be swept away by sudden terrors no matter how many times you have faced your fears. But fear becomes our friend when we allow it to draw us closer to God. Please pray with us for these new lesions to disappear. But also pray that our whole family will draw closer to God. In His presence is fullness of joy.

Jerry

One Hundred Sixty Days After Surgery

Debbie’s CT scan went well. We will meet with the doctor a week from today to discuss the results.

Debbie’s hemoglobin count is low. Please pray for this count to rise to its normal level.

Her CA 125 count is 13. This is the count that shows active cancer cells in ovarian cancer patients. Our doctor wants it to remain below 20. Please pray for Debbie’s immune system to continue to wage war and destroy any cancer cells.

Debbie’s diet is primarily vegetarian with very little processed foods or meat. She is using some supplements and herbs. She walked three miles yesterday. She is very active again and we are very grateful for what the Lord has given us.

Perhaps you have noticed that I have titled each blog with the number of days since Debbie had surgery. This experience has caused me to have a greater appreciation for each day that the Lord gives me with Debbie. I am numbering each one of them in God’s honor and as a sign of my gratefulness for His mercy.

Jerry

One Hundred And Fortynine Days After Surgery

Debbie’s next CAT scan is March 20. We will meet with the doctor on March 27 to evaluate the CAT scan. She has finished all of the treatments that were scheduled. We are very grateful that this phase is over.

Debbie’s blood counts are low from the chemotherapy. (Red Platelets and Hemoglobin). This makes her very tired and causes her to have shortness of breath. Normally the doctor will recommend a blood transfusion if the levels do not increase within seven days or if the count gets to low.

Please pray for God to strengthen her and cause these counts to increase. Please pray for God to protect all of her vital organs. Please continue to pray for God to destroy every cancer cell.

Thank you for your prayers. I read today a note from Jim Logan that said that God has chosen to serve us through our prayers. It is very humbling to know that the creator of all things listens and responds to our requests. We have seen His mighty hand responding to our requests from the day we discovered that Debbie was ill. At this point, He has not given us everything that we have requested based on what we can see. But He has given us everything we need and certainly more than we deserve. Thank you for standing with us in prayer.

Jerry

One Hundred And Thirty-nine Days After Surgery

At 11:15am today Debbie is scheduled to have a stint removed from her bladder and kidney.

Please pray with us for the perfect procedure with no complications. Please pray that her urinary system would be healed and restored.

Tomorrow Debbie is scheduled to have her 8th and final chemo treatment in this clinical trial.

Please pray with us for the perfect treatment with little or no side affects. Please pray for the medicine to find its target and destroy it.

Thank you for being there for us.

Jerry

One Hundred and Thirty-one Days After Surgery

Debbie’s seventh chemo treatment last Wednesday was very challenging. All went well until the last 30 minutes. When they started the last drug she became very ill after 15 minutes. They began treating her with some nausea medicine and some Benadryl. When I arrived to pick her up she was beat red and her words were slurred. We laughed about this later when I told her she was loopy.

This is not considered an abnormal reaction to such powerful drugs. But it was abnormal for Debbie. It was more frightening for me then it was for her. She began to feel better that evening and was fine by the next morning. Besides this reaction, the other side affects have been normal; just tremendous fatigue!

We feel very blessed by your prayers. We know that the side affects can be much more severe then what Debbie has experienced. We attribute this to your prayers and the mercy of the Lord. The nurses have called her one of their poster children for chemo patients.

Her eighth treatment in this clinical trial is scheduled for February 28. She is scheduled to have a stint removed from her kidney and bladder on February 27.

Please pray for God to bless Debbie with no complications from the removal of the stint.

Please pray for God to bless the next treatment so that it will kill any remaining cancer cells.

The theme of Debbie’s life is run the race with endurance that God has set before you. When Debbie has run in a Marathon, her endurance has amazed me.

This is a different type of marathon but she is demonstrating the same endurance. Her aim is to glory the Lord through the process by trusting Him unconditionally. She wants to hear those words, “Well done good and faithful servant!”

Your prayers are lifting her up to achieve her goal. Thank you for standing with her and our family at such a time as this.

Debbie's Progress As Of February 8, 2007

Today we received a report that there were no tumors visible on Debbie's CAT scan! We both left the doctor's office with many tears of gratitude. Debbie's CA 125 count is down to 13. Thank you so much for your prayers!

In our clinical trial, there were six scheduled treatments. Debbie completed these last week. There are also two other treatments that are left up to our discretion. Our doctor recommended that Debbie have these two treatments.

The disease that Debbie has been fighting is a very aggressive cancer. Debbie was also considered stage four. We believe that we should follow the doctor's advice and that Debbie should have the remaining treatments in this trial. Please pray that these next two treatments would find and destroy any cancer cells that are not visible on the CAT Scan.

The surgery on Grace's right knee went very well. We were all blessed when our doctor led us in prayer before the surgery. Dr. Warren Low is a very humble man. We are grateful for his faith and his skill as a surgeon. Please continue to pray for Grace's knee to be completely healed and restored.

Thank you again for standing with us at such a time as this. We are very humbled by your support and by the Lord granting our requests.

One Hundred And Eighteen Days After Surgery

Debbie is feeling well after her sixth chemotherapy treatment last Wednesday. She is scheduled for a CAT scan this coming Thursday and visit with our Doctor on Thursday about his recommendations for treatment in the future.

Please pray for a good report from the CAT scan. The best report would be there are no visible tumors. Please pray for us to make wise decisions regarding further treatment. Pray for our whole family to know God’s peace.

Please pray for our daughter Grace. Grace is 18 and tomorrow she is having knee surgery on her right knee. She torn the Anterior Cruciate Ligament and the ligament needs to be replaced. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. Our good friend Dr. Warren Low will perform the surgery at the Oklahoma Surgery Center. Her recovery time is projected to be about six months.

Please pray for Grace’s knee to be healed and restored. Please pray for a perfect surgery. Please pray for Grace to be encouraged in the Lord as she deals with this new adversity.

If we have faith in God, adversity is our friend and our ally. If we are guilty of unbelief, adversity is our enemy. Reality is not determined by our circumstances. Reality is determined by our perception of our circumstances. If we have faith in God, we can see our circumstances from His perception and be encouraged. If we do not have faith, we only see our circumstances from our limited perception and we will be discouraged. Each day and each moment of each day we have an opportunity to choose what perception we will have about our circumstances. Jesus stands at the door of our hearts and knocks. His desire is to help us see our circumstances from God’s perception. We must open the door and commune with Jesus to gain God’s perception. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ provides eternal life. But is also provides a view of life from God’s perspective that can lift us up during the most difficult seasons of life. We hope that you know Jesus. He wants to give you His heavenly view!

Eph 2:4-6
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
KJV


Jerry

110 Days After Surgery

Debbie's red blood count and platelet count was low last week so they delayed treatment until this week. She is scheduled to receive the treatment on Wednesday. Please continue to pray for the treatment to find it's target and to destroy all the cancer cells. Please continue to pray for protection for Debbie's good cells and the rest of her vital organs. Pray for Debbie to know God's peace as she faces another treatment.

In my series of messages called He Keeps Me Singing the title of my message yesterday was He Is Good. Although my text is from the scripture, I have seen this message in Debbie's life. She believes that God is good in spite of her suffering.
1 Chron 16:34
34 O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.
KJV
She is such an inspiration to all of us as we walk with her through these difficult days. God's grace keeps lifting her up with each new challenge.

The most recent challenge was a blood transfusion on Friday due to her low blood counts. Thank you for standing with us at such a time as this.

Fifteen Weeks After Surgery

Debbie resumed exercising this week. She is walking nearly two miles on the tread mill. We are very grateful to the Lord that she is able to resume something that she so thoroughly enjoys.

Joel Morris went to be with the Lord yesterday. Below is the latest blog from his father. Please continue to pray for the family.

"The Lord chose to take Joel to be with Him in glory around 4:30 PM this afternoon. We are at home and we will try to share more of our last day with Joel some time later. Please know that we so much appreciate all of you who have supported us through this trial. Joel had such an impact on so many people. It was a privilege as his father to spend these days and nights with him as he fought a good fight for life. His life is such a blessing to us, pray for our family as we go through these days...."

Thank you for standing with us and with the Morris family at such a time as this.