Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Our Rock

Wells Family Update

Our family has been in transition for some time. Debbie and I had talked about these years. As children grow up, they leave home. They get married. They have children. When six of your eight children are only eight years apart, there can be major transitions every year once they are older than 18.

Sometimes I reflect on the good ole days. The good ole days for me are when our family was so stable and predictable year after year. I knew that when I got home from work, all of my family would be at home when I walked in the door. We would all gather together for dinner and have our evenings together unless there was some kind of special event.

The good ole days started coming to an end when our oldest started driving. When he graduated from high school, life for our family really started changing and it seems that every year now another child gets their drivers license and another one graduates from high school.

When we were living the good ole days, Debbie and I thought that those would be the hardest years of our life. It seems so hard when you have so many little ones to care for 24/7.

My son Josh has told his siblings in high school that those days are the easiest days of their life and they need to enjoy it. If you are the parent of many young children, I would tell you the same thing. Those days are not easy but they were the easiest days of our life and you need to enjoy it. Don’t fool yourself by thinking I can’t wait until my children are old enough to drive or my children are old enough to leave home. With greater freedom always comes greater responsibility for you and for them and great transitions bring great change that is really hard.

Debbie and I never anticipated just how many great transitions we would have to make and how much our lives would change. In my childhood, I started making great transitions when I was only three because my mother died. I attended six different grades schools, lived in seven different homes, and had two different step mothers by the time I was 12. Those kinds of things happen when your mother dies and your dad is an alcoholic.

One of my greatest goals as a parent was to have a stable home for my children. It is one of the reasons that we have lived in the same home for 19 years and I have worked at the same church for 24 years. It is one of the reasons that we educated our children at home. It is one of the reasons we traveled to the same vacation location in Colorado for over 20 years. Divorce was never an option, only death. Then the unexpected happened!

I have grieved for my children because they have had to make changes I never wanted them to have to make, especially when one is only 11. I know what it is like to have to make great changes as a child. I also know what it is like to be eleven, sixteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and twenty-two and not have a mother. Mom’s presence creates greater daily stability. Mom’s absence gives you an uneasy feeling about what things will be like tomorrow.

For this reason and so many more we all miss Mom, everyday. We have adjusted so much. It is not as hard. The waves of grief are not as frequent or as large most of the time. We are laughing again, a lot. Dad is more pleasant, I think. We make plans for the future. We dare to dream again.

But we are better acquainted with just how fragile we are and how fragile are plans are!

I am so grateful that I have rock to stand on that does not move when our life changes or when the unexpected occurs. It has been hard but our foundation is firm. We have felt the powerful winds but our Rock has held secure.

“On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.” Thank you Jesus for being our Rock.

Zach is moving to Macon, Georgia this weekend to help my good friend Bob Hoffman who is the head men’s basketball coach at Mercer University. Zach will be finishing his degree at Macon State University and living with the Hoffman’s. What a gracious family and such dear friends.

Caleb has enlisted in the Army. He is stationed at Fort Sill in Lawton, Oklahoma for his basic training. He left yesterday and will be there for nine weeks before getting his next assignment. Please pray for his safety.

Jacob is still selling cars and getting ready to move into a new place.

Grace is working for a foundation called the Burbage Foundation. This foundation promotes family values thru out the state of Oklahoma.

Josh and Jill are expecting their third child in November.

Jeremiah, Mercy, and William are preparing for another year at Christian Heritage Academy. School begins August 20.