Thanksgiving, 2007, our first without Debbie. My daughter-in-law Jill has done more than anyone could expect to help our family have a wonderful holiday. She adorned our house with the traditional thanksgiving dress of pumpkins and thanksgiving colors. She prepared a cherry cobbler for our Tuesday night dinner at church. It was gone almost as quickly as Debbie’s banana cake. She baked what is becoming one of our family’s favorite breads for our family feast. Most important, she brightened our house with her peaceful spirit that she wears every day.
When I awoke early on Thanksgiving morning the first thing that I noticed was the kitchen was quiet. Debbie was such an early riser. Most days, she would get up before me to pray and study God’s Word at her private alter.
It was her custom to rise early on Thanksgiving Day. When I would wake up on Thanksgiving Day, the door to our room would be open. I would hear the sounds of the kitchen-a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the electric mixer-the refrigerator door opening and closing-the hum of the oven. Then there was the music. Debbie would be either singing a Christmas song or a Christmas CD would be playing one of her favorite Christmas tunes.
Then there would be phone calls to one or more of her siblings or her mother who lived in Kermit, Texas. Her voice would ring out “Goooood Morning” or “Happy Thanksgiving,” as soon as someone on the other end of the line answered the phone. On this Thanksgiving morning, when I woke up and was lying in bed, the kitchen was quiet.
I made it through the morning at home secretly reliving various memories and then our family joined the Richey and Burgess families at the Richey’s new home for our Thanksgiving Celebration. Our annual feast was one of the best. Trent shared a wonderful devotional from the scripture on how there is a time for everything but God is with us each step of the way. My brother Jim and Sister Sandy and their families dropped by for a visit. Then we were off to the gym for our annual holiday basketball game. By the time I arrived home that evening with a very sore calf, the day was spent. I shed a bucket full of tears and went to bed.
When I woke up Friday morning, the first thing I heard was sounds coming from the kitchen. There was a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the refrigerator opening and closing-the hum of the oven, and there was music. It was a Christmas CD like the ones Debbie would have chosen.
When I turned the corner, there stood my oldest son Josh (age 29) making our family a holiday breakfast like the ones his mother fixed for him. As I looked at Josh I saw his mother. Within his 6’4” frame I sensed her spirit and her heart. In his eyes, I saw her character and the joy she had for serving us.
I was reminded again that although she is gone, she left behind a legacy of her beauty in all of her children. What she was is within them and this world is a much better place because of Debbie Wells.
Debbie would say, “It is because of Jesus!”
And because of Jesus we can see Debbie again. Until that day!
Jerry Wells
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
November 12, 2007
Saturday, November 10, I attended Homecoming at Oklahoma Baptist University. I graduated from OBU in May, 1977, which was also the year that Debbie and I married and moved to Fort Worth to attend seminary. I cannot believe that it has been 30 years!
At homecoming, I played basketball in the annual alumni basketball game for former players. My son Josh also attended OBU and played basketball so we were able to play together in this game for the very first time. This was a great thrill for me. I am very grateful that I am still healthy enough to play and compete at age 52 with my grandchildren looking on.
I saw many old friends that I had not seen in years. They had heard about Debbie and expressed their condolences. I had the opportunity to update my class at our 1977 class luncheon. It was difficult but I made it through it.
Many people asked me how I was doing and how the children were doing. What a difficult question to answer. When I tell them I am doing well, I feel like I am being dishonest because I remember what well was like before Debbie was diagnosed with cancer.
Compared to that well, I do not consider myself to be doing well.
“Well” has a new definition to me and I do not have time to explain this to everyone who asks, “How are you doing?” Well means I am experiencing great sorrow but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well means I am able to pull myself together after being curled up in a fetal position and I am still able to function and contribute to the well fare of others. Well means there are lots of good times and happy moments with my family and friends.
This is what well means…
2 Cor 4:8-10
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed --
NKJV
What an honest summation Paul gave of his life. Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down but not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed.
Paul experienced great sorrow but said that he was not in despair. To be in despair means to believe there is no way out.
There is a way out. It is called the resurrection. That is why Paul said in verse 14…
2 Cor 4:14
14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.
NKJV
I do not know if on this earth I will always feel the sorrow I feel now or to what degree I will feel this sorrow. It really doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to realize that many people feel this sorrow and that they have no hope that their feelings of sorrow will ever change.
Many reside in nursing homes, mental hospitals, V.A. Hospitals, burn centers, and cancer wards. Others live alone across the street from people like you and me. Others wander as homeless beggars through our streets. Many live as orphaned children in places like Africa where the average life span for men in some countries is about 40. I have been touched by the sorrow they feel. It has left a great impression on my soul. It grieves me that they do not have any hope.
It also grieves me that people who enter eternity without Jesus will experience this sorrow for all of eternity. Jesus will wipe every tear away from my eyes. Sorrow will no longer be one of my closest companions. But for those who are not in Christ their sorrow will never end.
God uses our troubles to make us sensitive to the troubles of others. As Paul said…
2 Cor 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
KJV
Experiencing sorrow changes us. It will either make us more into a selfish narcissist or it will enlarge our heart of compassion for others. My prayer is…
Ps 119:32
32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
KJV
Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chron 4:9-10
9 And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
KJV
I never considered that when I prayed the prayer of Jabez and asked God to enlarge my coast that He would first have to enlarge my heart through sorrow. Sometimes God enlarges the boarders of our ministry by first enlarging our heart of compassion through sorrow. He uses our own personal sorrow to stretch our hearts out to others. It is no accident that Jabez’s name means “to grieve and be sorrowful.”
Do I like it? No! Do I have pity parties at times? Yes! Am I thankful yet? No! God and I still have some work to do.
So how am I doing? “Well?” No! Debbie is doing Well. She is doing well because she is well. The tears have been wiped away.
But until that day may our faithful God keep enlarging our hearts and our boarders. When He uses sorrow to enlarge our boarders may He strengthen us with the hope that only comes from His presence and His promise of resurrection. And may the life that we live with sorrow bring hope to others who so desperately need it.
P.S. Please pray for my dear friend Woody Shoemaker and his six children. Gail, his beloved wife and mother to his children, died Saturday morning. She has been suffering from a brain tumor that was diagnosed last February. You can read about their journey on their blog.
http://www.xanga.com/the_shoemaker_update
At homecoming, I played basketball in the annual alumni basketball game for former players. My son Josh also attended OBU and played basketball so we were able to play together in this game for the very first time. This was a great thrill for me. I am very grateful that I am still healthy enough to play and compete at age 52 with my grandchildren looking on.
I saw many old friends that I had not seen in years. They had heard about Debbie and expressed their condolences. I had the opportunity to update my class at our 1977 class luncheon. It was difficult but I made it through it.
Many people asked me how I was doing and how the children were doing. What a difficult question to answer. When I tell them I am doing well, I feel like I am being dishonest because I remember what well was like before Debbie was diagnosed with cancer.
Compared to that well, I do not consider myself to be doing well.
“Well” has a new definition to me and I do not have time to explain this to everyone who asks, “How are you doing?” Well means I am experiencing great sorrow but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well means I am able to pull myself together after being curled up in a fetal position and I am still able to function and contribute to the well fare of others. Well means there are lots of good times and happy moments with my family and friends.
This is what well means…
2 Cor 4:8-10
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed --
NKJV
What an honest summation Paul gave of his life. Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down but not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed.
Paul experienced great sorrow but said that he was not in despair. To be in despair means to believe there is no way out.
There is a way out. It is called the resurrection. That is why Paul said in verse 14…
2 Cor 4:14
14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.
NKJV
I do not know if on this earth I will always feel the sorrow I feel now or to what degree I will feel this sorrow. It really doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to realize that many people feel this sorrow and that they have no hope that their feelings of sorrow will ever change.
Many reside in nursing homes, mental hospitals, V.A. Hospitals, burn centers, and cancer wards. Others live alone across the street from people like you and me. Others wander as homeless beggars through our streets. Many live as orphaned children in places like Africa where the average life span for men in some countries is about 40. I have been touched by the sorrow they feel. It has left a great impression on my soul. It grieves me that they do not have any hope.
It also grieves me that people who enter eternity without Jesus will experience this sorrow for all of eternity. Jesus will wipe every tear away from my eyes. Sorrow will no longer be one of my closest companions. But for those who are not in Christ their sorrow will never end.
God uses our troubles to make us sensitive to the troubles of others. As Paul said…
2 Cor 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
KJV
Experiencing sorrow changes us. It will either make us more into a selfish narcissist or it will enlarge our heart of compassion for others. My prayer is…
Ps 119:32
32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
KJV
Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chron 4:9-10
9 And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
KJV
I never considered that when I prayed the prayer of Jabez and asked God to enlarge my coast that He would first have to enlarge my heart through sorrow. Sometimes God enlarges the boarders of our ministry by first enlarging our heart of compassion through sorrow. He uses our own personal sorrow to stretch our hearts out to others. It is no accident that Jabez’s name means “to grieve and be sorrowful.”
Do I like it? No! Do I have pity parties at times? Yes! Am I thankful yet? No! God and I still have some work to do.
So how am I doing? “Well?” No! Debbie is doing Well. She is doing well because she is well. The tears have been wiped away.
But until that day may our faithful God keep enlarging our hearts and our boarders. When He uses sorrow to enlarge our boarders may He strengthen us with the hope that only comes from His presence and His promise of resurrection. And may the life that we live with sorrow bring hope to others who so desperately need it.
P.S. Please pray for my dear friend Woody Shoemaker and his six children. Gail, his beloved wife and mother to his children, died Saturday morning. She has been suffering from a brain tumor that was diagnosed last February. You can read about their journey on their blog.
http://www.xanga.com/the_shoemaker_update
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)