Mom and Dad met with their doctor this morning. It appears that there is no hope in man at this point, so we are totally in the "God Zone" as my Uncle Trent said. Obviously we have always been in the "God Zone", but if Mom is to be healed, it will be solely through a miracle of His healing hand.
Mom is in very good spirits and standing on faith. She has not accepted that this is the last word on her life on this earth. The Lord can heal, and has healed others in similar circumstances. As a family, we are reliant upon His will to be done.
We have basically been told that the cancer Mom has is more aggressive than anything they’ve ever seen before. It is growing and spreading faster than any treatment they have can work. They said they were willing to walk with her through more chemo, or support her decision to go home. She will have a tube placed in her stomach on Tuesday to continue to drain the excess fluid and gas off her intestines and stomach. She will be going home soon after that.
As a son, I feel fortunate to be in the position that I find myself currently. Too many children never fully grasp the importance and impact of their parent's lives. As I take each of your emails, copy and paste them into a Word document for easier reading, and print them off for Mom and Dad, I am in awe at the widespread influence of their lives. The emails range from dear friends who they've known for years, to the random person who has only heard them speak in large gatherings or who has been ministered to by somebody else who Mom and Dad ministered to. Each and every email contains a story of gratefulness for Mom and Dad's lives or a heartfelt prayer.
Several nights ago I cried out to the Lord in anger over our family's situation. It is difficult to understand why bad things happen to people like my Mom. I have been especially grieved by the fact that my children may not have her in their lives any longer.
When I took over the job of updating the blog and receiving emails, I did so as a way to relieve the burden on my Dad, but the Lord knew what He was doing. He knew I needed to see how He has impacted so many lives through my parents. As a pastor's child, you know in an abstract way that what your family is doing and what your parents are doing is having an impact for Christ's kingdom. Because the impact of Mom and Dad's ministry tends to be so personal, it is very rare that you get to see and hear tangible evidence of how much their work has meant to those they have touched. It is not so rare to see your parents go through situations where you feel they are mistreated, abandoned or taken for granted. Those circumstances tend to be much more public. As a result, it is a constant battle for a pastor's family to love the Body of Christ and to support their parent's work. Seeing your messages of thanks and heartfelt prayers has not only brought peace to me about the current situation, but it has brought peace and perspective to my life as a pastor's child as well. Every child should have the opportunity to experience what I have experienced over the past weeks and months. The circumstances have been difficult, but I know the Lord is in it.
As I said earlier, it is difficult to understand why the Lord would put Mom and Dad through such a difficult situation. It is hard for my limited mind to grasp the logic in Him allowing people who are doing His work to go through difficult trials or even removing them from their work on earth. I believe God is a logical God, not a random being who acts on a whim. His creation is evidence of His planning and logic. When His actions seem illogical to us, it is only because we do not know all the facts and because God operates on a plane of existence that we cannot fully comprehend in our human state. Some facts we may never know until we get to heaven, others we as humans tend to ignore.
As I look at the current situation, I believe that there is logic in it. As I think on why God may take Mom at such a young age when it seems she has so much work left to accomplish for Him, I am reminded of the fact that this life is merely a vapor, a wisp, a puff of air in the grand scheme of eternity. Knowing that God is a logical God, I find it hard to believe that He would make our short time here on earth the most important part of our existence. Mom's most important tasks are still at hand, and she cannot begin them until He takes her to be with Him.
Selfishly I am still praying that He will leave her here for awhile longer for my benefit, Dad’s benefit, the benefit of my siblings, and that of my wife and children. I know that His timing is perfect.
Josh Wells
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