What a courageous little girl. I only saw one little tear just before they took her back to operate on her knee. I am sure that tear was for her mother but I did not ask.
We were back at the same surgery center where we were just a year ago. Grace had the very same injury and surgery. Debbie was there a year ago; the same surgery center; the same waiting area; you get the picture. Debbie had just received a great report on February 8. The cancer was in remission. She was feeling good. We never expected she would only be with us for just ten more weeks.
There is no one like Mom in these circumstances. We all try to fill the gap. Our support system is broader and stronger than most families. Grandmother Joy, Aunt Teresa, Aunt Ginger, brother Zach, sister Grace; sister in law Jill and my two grand babies were all there. We had a visit from Odus, one of our Pastors at church; many calls, text messages, and e-mails from family and friends. Thank you! But there is no one like Mom. She was greatly missed; again; by Mercy; by all of us.
Dr. Low was exceptional as we would expect. He has now done six surgeries on four of my children. He is so meticulous and compassionate; a rare combination. He covers every detail of the procedure. Then he leads us in prayer entrusting his patient and his skills to the chief physician.
Everything went according to plan; torn ACL in right knee replaced by a hamstring harvested from Mercy’s right leg and torn lateral meniscus removed without incident.
Mercy was Mercy; like her mother; thinking and caring about everyone else; full of gratefulness for everything that anyone did for her; smiling; apologizing for being so much trouble; encouraging; always encouraging.
So Debbie was there; again thru one of her children; her legacy lives on. Thank you Mercy!
And Jesus was there; again thru many of His children; His legacy lives on. Thank you Jesus!
Jerry
P.S. Mercy is recovering at home.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Debbie's Birthday, February 12, From Teresa Burgess
It's funny how it's the little things - the little reminders about a person - that come to mean the most when he/she is gone.
What stands out to me today in thinking of Debbie is her laugh. Genuine, expressive, bright eyes and a grin truly as big as Texas! Then it hit me! I rarely remember Debbie's tears. There were those few occasions, but it's the laughter that characterized her life. People loved that about Debbie because they knew that they could joke and tease and have fun with Debbie and she would just laugh right along with them! Her laugh engaged people and made them feel comfortable in her presence.
I had a major meltdown this morning and felt a little depressed. Then, as memories of Debbie laughing through the years invaded my thinking , it was like I was not just remembering but really experiencing all over again the joy of her laughter. This happened to me after Dad died, this ability to experience again the impact of his life in new ways and at deeper levels!
Then the Lord whispered, "I'm laughing with Debbie today...in person, in fullness, in glory!" Can you imagine what Debbie's laugh sounds like mingled with Jesus' laugh?
Ahh, Debbie! We miss you, but I would never want you to leave the most holy place. Not ever! We shall join you, soon, and it will be as if we were never separated!
Lord, we long for the day of Your return! Lord, thank You for laughing with Debbie today! I can hear the echoes in the ears of my heart! Truly, it's her best birthday ever! Hallelujah!
Love,
Teresa
What stands out to me today in thinking of Debbie is her laugh. Genuine, expressive, bright eyes and a grin truly as big as Texas! Then it hit me! I rarely remember Debbie's tears. There were those few occasions, but it's the laughter that characterized her life. People loved that about Debbie because they knew that they could joke and tease and have fun with Debbie and she would just laugh right along with them! Her laugh engaged people and made them feel comfortable in her presence.
I had a major meltdown this morning and felt a little depressed. Then, as memories of Debbie laughing through the years invaded my thinking , it was like I was not just remembering but really experiencing all over again the joy of her laughter. This happened to me after Dad died, this ability to experience again the impact of his life in new ways and at deeper levels!
Then the Lord whispered, "I'm laughing with Debbie today...in person, in fullness, in glory!" Can you imagine what Debbie's laugh sounds like mingled with Jesus' laugh?
Ahh, Debbie! We miss you, but I would never want you to leave the most holy place. Not ever! We shall join you, soon, and it will be as if we were never separated!
Lord, we long for the day of Your return! Lord, thank You for laughing with Debbie today! I can hear the echoes in the ears of my heart! Truly, it's her best birthday ever! Hallelujah!
Love,
Teresa
Thursday, February 07, 2008
There Is No God
“There is no God!” On May 3, 2007, I had this thought for the first time since my conversion to Christianity at age 17.
On January 31, I was reviewing income tax records from 2007. I saw some of Debbie’s creative memories records with her hand writing. The reality of her death and our separation hit me again. This will be the last time that I file jointly claiming her as one of my dependents. I had an emotional melt down and this thought came to my mind, “There is no God!”
In spite of my dramatic conversion; in spite of all the blessings and answers to prayer; in spite of the fact that I have preached the bible for 35 years; in spite of the fact that know all of the evidence for the existence of God; at times, during intense grief, I have this thought, “There is no God!”
The logic goes something like this. If there is a God who loves us, He would not have allowed this to happen. He would not allow my eight children and me to live without the single most important human in our life, especially ten year old William. He would not allow us to experience this kind of pain. He would not allow so many others to experience this kind of pain; He would have answered our prayer; if there is a God who loves us.
I know I am not the only one who has this experience. I have heard from others who are having this experience. I have heard from concerned relatives whose loved one is having this experience.
I know the verse. Ps 14:1 says, “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God!” It appears I have joined another fraternity of people in the bible that is not popular with God.
But wait! Jesus prayed a prayer on the cross that sounds a lot like me. Jesus said, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?” Jesus was most popular with God. It must be O.K. to have questions when you are suffering.
This also means God understands me. Since Jesus was God in human flesh, this means Jesus understands all of us fools. This means Jesus died for us fools. This means that Jesus can represent us fools in heaven. This means there is a place for us fools in heaven.
Is it enough for you to know that God understands your doubt and that He has a place for you in heaven in spite of your questions? Is it enough for you to know in spite of your doubt, you are still most popular with God if you are joined to the one who is most popular? Is it enough for you to know that God’s love covers your doubt?
This does not answer my questions. There is not an answer accept, “Trust Me!” And I will. And so will you. We will get through this together trusting God in spite of our questions; in spite of our doubt; in spite of our pain; in spite of……
Faith is trusting God in spite of all the in spite ofs. The logic of faith is sound but limited.
We can live with the questions. We cannot live without God. We cannot allow our questions to cause us to forsake Him. He has not forsaken us. It just feels that way for a season. He understands. Trust Him!
Jerry Wells
Psa. 40:1-3
Various Notes: Mercy is scheduled to have surgery on her knee on February 27. She is already tired of waiting but our faithful and trusted doctor wants all of the swelling to be gone before he operates. February 12 would have been Debbie’s 54th birthday. I hear that Birthdays can be hard for people in our fraternity. You can listen on line to my sermons and get my sermon notes at www.westernhillschurch.com
On January 31, I was reviewing income tax records from 2007. I saw some of Debbie’s creative memories records with her hand writing. The reality of her death and our separation hit me again. This will be the last time that I file jointly claiming her as one of my dependents. I had an emotional melt down and this thought came to my mind, “There is no God!”
In spite of my dramatic conversion; in spite of all the blessings and answers to prayer; in spite of the fact that I have preached the bible for 35 years; in spite of the fact that know all of the evidence for the existence of God; at times, during intense grief, I have this thought, “There is no God!”
The logic goes something like this. If there is a God who loves us, He would not have allowed this to happen. He would not allow my eight children and me to live without the single most important human in our life, especially ten year old William. He would not allow us to experience this kind of pain. He would not allow so many others to experience this kind of pain; He would have answered our prayer; if there is a God who loves us.
I know I am not the only one who has this experience. I have heard from others who are having this experience. I have heard from concerned relatives whose loved one is having this experience.
I know the verse. Ps 14:1 says, “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God!” It appears I have joined another fraternity of people in the bible that is not popular with God.
But wait! Jesus prayed a prayer on the cross that sounds a lot like me. Jesus said, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?” Jesus was most popular with God. It must be O.K. to have questions when you are suffering.
This also means God understands me. Since Jesus was God in human flesh, this means Jesus understands all of us fools. This means Jesus died for us fools. This means that Jesus can represent us fools in heaven. This means there is a place for us fools in heaven.
Is it enough for you to know that God understands your doubt and that He has a place for you in heaven in spite of your questions? Is it enough for you to know in spite of your doubt, you are still most popular with God if you are joined to the one who is most popular? Is it enough for you to know that God’s love covers your doubt?
This does not answer my questions. There is not an answer accept, “Trust Me!” And I will. And so will you. We will get through this together trusting God in spite of our questions; in spite of our doubt; in spite of our pain; in spite of……
Faith is trusting God in spite of all the in spite ofs. The logic of faith is sound but limited.
We can live with the questions. We cannot live without God. We cannot allow our questions to cause us to forsake Him. He has not forsaken us. It just feels that way for a season. He understands. Trust Him!
Jerry Wells
Psa. 40:1-3
Various Notes: Mercy is scheduled to have surgery on her knee on February 27. She is already tired of waiting but our faithful and trusted doctor wants all of the swelling to be gone before he operates. February 12 would have been Debbie’s 54th birthday. I hear that Birthdays can be hard for people in our fraternity. You can listen on line to my sermons and get my sermon notes at www.westernhillschurch.com
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