There Is No God

“There is no God!” On May 3, 2007, I had this thought for the first time since my conversion to Christianity at age 17.

On January 31, I was reviewing income tax records from 2007. I saw some of Debbie’s creative memories records with her hand writing. The reality of her death and our separation hit me again. This will be the last time that I file jointly claiming her as one of my dependents. I had an emotional melt down and this thought came to my mind, “There is no God!”

In spite of my dramatic conversion; in spite of all the blessings and answers to prayer; in spite of the fact that I have preached the bible for 35 years; in spite of the fact that know all of the evidence for the existence of God; at times, during intense grief, I have this thought, “There is no God!”

The logic goes something like this. If there is a God who loves us, He would not have allowed this to happen. He would not allow my eight children and me to live without the single most important human in our life, especially ten year old William. He would not allow us to experience this kind of pain. He would not allow so many others to experience this kind of pain; He would have answered our prayer; if there is a God who loves us.

I know I am not the only one who has this experience. I have heard from others who are having this experience. I have heard from concerned relatives whose loved one is having this experience.

I know the verse. Ps 14:1 says, “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God!” It appears I have joined another fraternity of people in the bible that is not popular with God.

But wait! Jesus prayed a prayer on the cross that sounds a lot like me. Jesus said, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?” Jesus was most popular with God. It must be O.K. to have questions when you are suffering.

This also means God understands me. Since Jesus was God in human flesh, this means Jesus understands all of us fools. This means Jesus died for us fools. This means that Jesus can represent us fools in heaven. This means there is a place for us fools in heaven.

Is it enough for you to know that God understands your doubt and that He has a place for you in heaven in spite of your questions? Is it enough for you to know in spite of your doubt, you are still most popular with God if you are joined to the one who is most popular? Is it enough for you to know that God’s love covers your doubt?

This does not answer my questions. There is not an answer accept, “Trust Me!” And I will. And so will you. We will get through this together trusting God in spite of our questions; in spite of our doubt; in spite of our pain; in spite of……

Faith is trusting God in spite of all the in spite ofs. The logic of faith is sound but limited.
We can live with the questions. We cannot live without God. We cannot allow our questions to cause us to forsake Him. He has not forsaken us. It just feels that way for a season. He understands. Trust Him!

Jerry Wells
Psa. 40:1-3

Various Notes: Mercy is scheduled to have surgery on her knee on February 27. She is already tired of waiting but our faithful and trusted doctor wants all of the swelling to be gone before he operates. February 12 would have been Debbie’s 54th birthday. I hear that Birthdays can be hard for people in our fraternity. You can listen on line to my sermons and get my sermon notes at www.westernhillschurch.com