Discouragement

Debbie used to tell me, “Some people in your family and people that you Pastor do not believe that you have feelings.” I could just roll with the punches without giving any indication that I was suffering; most of the time I was not. If I was suffering, a few minutes on my face would be sufficient to get myself together.

People can be brutal. As James Taylor said, “They will hurt you and desert you; they will take your soul if you let them.”

Death is much worse. There is a good reason it is called the last enemy. There are not adequate words to describe how it devastates your soul. Your soul is never the same.

One of the ways that it has affected my soul is that I get discouraged easier. I was never one to seriously consider throwing in the towel. Pit Bull would describe my determination with regards to something I believed was right. Now I get discouraged easier. Debbie would say at times when she was discouraged, “Lord, just take me home.” Now I understand.

Fortunately I am very open about my feelings of discouragement with those who are closest to me; God first and then the other significant others in my life. I can dump with the best of them.

When you are suffering from discouragement, I hope that you have these kinds of relationships. I hope you have significant others that will let you dump on them.

They need to be good listeners. God certainly is. They need to be willing to listen without preaching to you. They need to be able to say, “I am soooooo…. Sorry.” They need to be able to give you hugs. They need to be compassionate. They need to be able to pray with you and groan with you.

I just described myself, now. This is another way that Death has changed me. I get discouraged easier but I also comfort others better. I guess to have one you have got to have the other. Is it worth it?

I think so. It is certainly worth it to those who know the new me. There letters of response to my updates seem to say so. This gives me hope in the midst of the pain. There is something dynamic that happens in our soul when we are helping others that are suffering. It increases our capacity and our willingness to endure pain. It heals our own soul. If we are not actively helping others, we do not see the purpose. It does not seem to be worth it.

I am a Pastor. I have a pulpit. I have an audience on the internet as well. Most people do not have these avenues. Find one! That’s my advice. Find an avenue to help people who are suffering like you are suffering. Join a grief support group in your church or your community; not for you; for them. Start serving a local hospital. I know people who spend a few hours each week just holding babies who are suffering. Make a list of lonely shut ins and start visiting them. There is always the local nursing home.


It will change you. It will heal you; over time; but not completely. I believe God will always allow us to hurt to some degree over our loss. It makes us a better minister. Join me!