Our Christmas holidays were better than I anticipated. We certainly had our moments. But overall, we enjoyed the holidays. If you have been where we have been, you know that is an absolute miracle. You tend to wonder in your dark times if you will ever feel happy again without also experiencing suffocating sorrow. Three of my older children told me that it was the best Christmas Eve they had ever experienced. And Christmas Day with the Burgess and Richey tribe is always delightful.
Now we face our very first new year without Debbie. One of my best friends and Debbie’s best friends recently said to me, “The older I get, the less I know.” Tragedy like ours makes you feel this way. Certainly this does not mean I know less of God’s moral code or the scripture. I am a lot wiser today than I was at age 17 when Jesus found me. Certainly this does not refer my knowledge of God’s love and how I need to show it to others. That has grown as well.
The less I know refers to the way God chooses to show His love to us. His ways are higher than our ways.
Do you believe that God always does what is best for us? Isn’t that one of the definitions of love? Somehow God always does what is best for His glory and what is best for His children. They are like two rails of a rail road track with regards to God’s plan for our life.
This means every tragedy is best for God’s glory and best for us. This means a husband losing his beloved wife is best for him. This means a ten year old boy losing his mother is best for him. This means “The older I get, the less I know.” Get it?
This also means the older I get the less I know what is best for other people with regards to God’s glory and God’s will. Once again, I can tell anyone it is not best to violate God’s moral code. The consequences will be very painful. But with regards to so many other decisions that people make. “The older I get, the less I know.”
If it is best for children to lose their mother during the prime of her life and I am not their father, who am I to say what is best for those children and their future? Who am I to say what is best for you? “The older I get, the less I know.”
In 2008, come on down off your throne and join me down here with the rest of us former know it alls. Come on down before your next tragedy knocks you down. We are a lot less critical down here and a lot more compassionate and understanding. We are a lot happier. We are also easier to like; like my beloved Debbie Wells. I am sorry that it took her death for me to understand.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas Day 2007
On this Christmas Day 2007 I am not writing to the general masses. I am writing this to those whose heart is shattered; to those who have lost a love; to those whose love has been rejected or not reciprocated.
Not everyone has this experience. There are those who live and die without ever losing the love of their life. They precede their love in death or they never fall in love. There are those who live and die without ever having their love rejected. They never fall in love without the feeling being mutual. Everyone’s heart is broken by certain losses. But not everyone knows what it means to have their heart shattered by these particular kinds of losses.
Losing the love of your life and falling in love with someone who does not fall in love with you are very similar experiences. There are no words to describe the pain. We use words like broken, shattered, and devastated but these words are only words. They do not capture the feeling.
I have had both of these experiences. I realize now how many people are hurting and suffering from these experiences. People in this world are hurting.
If you are one of these people, please give me a moment of your time. There is something I need to say to you. Be comforted to know that the love that you have felt for someone is the love that Jesus has for you.
We say it so tritely; for God so loved the world. We think that it only describes God’s intent or motive. We do not think of His love as the same kind of passion that we experience for the love of our life.
God created us in His image. We got this passion from Him. He has it toward you.
It is so hard to believe that God loves us that way. It is not accompanied by any kind of sensual desire but the passion is the same.
This first donned on me when I was just a teen. It released in me a torrent of praise and passion for God that has marked my life ever since. I started loving Him when I finally realized He loved me this way.
Go ahead and believe it. The incarnation is sufficient evidence that what I am saying is true. The cross is another witness.
God never loses the love of His life. Death is just a door to a new level of relationship. But He does love many who do not love Him.
Can God grieve? The Holy Spirit can and the Holy Spirit is a member of the Holy trinity. God grieves when the feeling of love is not mutual. He understands your pain if you have lost your love or your love has been rejected. Because He loves you He weeps with you.
This somehow comforts me and gives me peace. I am not alone. The Sovereign ruler of all that we see and all that we cannot see weeps with me. Why? Because He loves me!
Because He loves you, He is weeping with you this Christmas Day 2007 if your heart is shattered by the loss of your love or your love has been spurned. You are not alone.
Jerry Wells
Not everyone has this experience. There are those who live and die without ever losing the love of their life. They precede their love in death or they never fall in love. There are those who live and die without ever having their love rejected. They never fall in love without the feeling being mutual. Everyone’s heart is broken by certain losses. But not everyone knows what it means to have their heart shattered by these particular kinds of losses.
Losing the love of your life and falling in love with someone who does not fall in love with you are very similar experiences. There are no words to describe the pain. We use words like broken, shattered, and devastated but these words are only words. They do not capture the feeling.
I have had both of these experiences. I realize now how many people are hurting and suffering from these experiences. People in this world are hurting.
If you are one of these people, please give me a moment of your time. There is something I need to say to you. Be comforted to know that the love that you have felt for someone is the love that Jesus has for you.
We say it so tritely; for God so loved the world. We think that it only describes God’s intent or motive. We do not think of His love as the same kind of passion that we experience for the love of our life.
God created us in His image. We got this passion from Him. He has it toward you.
It is so hard to believe that God loves us that way. It is not accompanied by any kind of sensual desire but the passion is the same.
This first donned on me when I was just a teen. It released in me a torrent of praise and passion for God that has marked my life ever since. I started loving Him when I finally realized He loved me this way.
Go ahead and believe it. The incarnation is sufficient evidence that what I am saying is true. The cross is another witness.
God never loses the love of His life. Death is just a door to a new level of relationship. But He does love many who do not love Him.
Can God grieve? The Holy Spirit can and the Holy Spirit is a member of the Holy trinity. God grieves when the feeling of love is not mutual. He understands your pain if you have lost your love or your love has been rejected. Because He loves you He weeps with you.
This somehow comforts me and gives me peace. I am not alone. The Sovereign ruler of all that we see and all that we cannot see weeps with me. Why? Because He loves me!
Because He loves you, He is weeping with you this Christmas Day 2007 if your heart is shattered by the loss of your love or your love has been spurned. You are not alone.
Jerry Wells
Saturday, December 22, 2007
My Birthday
The calendar has it all wrong. It says today, December 22, is the first day of winter. In this season of our lives, our winter began on May 3, 2007. It has been a long winter!
How long will this winter last? Some say it will last the rest of our life. That is a dismal thought.
I certainly expect to always miss Debbie. There will always be times of intense grief. But having times of grief and living in the winter of sorrow are not the same.
If you are experiencing a long winter of sorrow in your life, at some point it needs to dawn on you that you control when the winter will end.
You may not be ready for this. Your winter may have just begun. You may not be at a place where that you want the winter to end. That’s O.K. We all need a significant amount of time to just nurse our wounds. It is almost seems impossible to have hope for anything good in this life when you have lost someone so significant.
But if you are ready for winter to end, listen to me. There is a way to part the clouds and see the sun.
One of Debbie’s favorite Christmas movies was Scrooge. She liked the Albert Finney version the most. You know the story. A man is consumed with himself; consumed with preserving his wealth; consumed with his own needs and desires. His life is dismal.
He has an experience. He sees what life has been like and what life will be like if he does not change. He has to make a choice: live for him self or live for others.
Mr. Scrooge is so frightened by the experience and by what the future holds that He makes a major change. He decides to play second fiddle.
The moment he makes the change, the music begins. The story ends with Mr. Scrooge sharing all that He has with those in need. His winter is over.
Mr. Scrooge has a great hurt in his past. He allowed that hurt to make him Mr. Scrooge. Each one of us has the same choice. Live for your self or live for others. How long will your winter last?
Jesus taught us all this lesson by the way He lived. An abundant life is not found by holding on to your abundance. The bible calls it emptying your self for others. Will you?
I have been seeing signs of spring lately. It seems to happen every time I go out of my way to let someone else know how important they are to God and to me. I believe this winter is almost over.
By the way, today is my birthday. It’s O.K. My family started the celebration last Sunday at our annual Christmas brunch. I am richer because they are poorer. My children continued the celebration two days ago with another gift I enjoy. Yesterday, I got a call from a special angel and a gift from a new angel in my life. It is only 9:05am in the morning. I had a text message from the same angel waiting for me when I woke up. One dear family in our church has already called and sang to me over the phone. I have received numerous gifts through out the week. I have not counted the birthday cards I have received.
All of these people who are so dear to me are just practicing what I am preaching. It is wonderful to be the recipient. But it is more blessed to give then to receive. It can turn your winter into spring!
I am so ready for no more cloudy days. Join me.
Merry Christmas!
Jerry Wells
How long will this winter last? Some say it will last the rest of our life. That is a dismal thought.
I certainly expect to always miss Debbie. There will always be times of intense grief. But having times of grief and living in the winter of sorrow are not the same.
If you are experiencing a long winter of sorrow in your life, at some point it needs to dawn on you that you control when the winter will end.
You may not be ready for this. Your winter may have just begun. You may not be at a place where that you want the winter to end. That’s O.K. We all need a significant amount of time to just nurse our wounds. It is almost seems impossible to have hope for anything good in this life when you have lost someone so significant.
But if you are ready for winter to end, listen to me. There is a way to part the clouds and see the sun.
One of Debbie’s favorite Christmas movies was Scrooge. She liked the Albert Finney version the most. You know the story. A man is consumed with himself; consumed with preserving his wealth; consumed with his own needs and desires. His life is dismal.
He has an experience. He sees what life has been like and what life will be like if he does not change. He has to make a choice: live for him self or live for others.
Mr. Scrooge is so frightened by the experience and by what the future holds that He makes a major change. He decides to play second fiddle.
The moment he makes the change, the music begins. The story ends with Mr. Scrooge sharing all that He has with those in need. His winter is over.
Mr. Scrooge has a great hurt in his past. He allowed that hurt to make him Mr. Scrooge. Each one of us has the same choice. Live for your self or live for others. How long will your winter last?
Jesus taught us all this lesson by the way He lived. An abundant life is not found by holding on to your abundance. The bible calls it emptying your self for others. Will you?
I have been seeing signs of spring lately. It seems to happen every time I go out of my way to let someone else know how important they are to God and to me. I believe this winter is almost over.
By the way, today is my birthday. It’s O.K. My family started the celebration last Sunday at our annual Christmas brunch. I am richer because they are poorer. My children continued the celebration two days ago with another gift I enjoy. Yesterday, I got a call from a special angel and a gift from a new angel in my life. It is only 9:05am in the morning. I had a text message from the same angel waiting for me when I woke up. One dear family in our church has already called and sang to me over the phone. I have received numerous gifts through out the week. I have not counted the birthday cards I have received.
All of these people who are so dear to me are just practicing what I am preaching. It is wonderful to be the recipient. But it is more blessed to give then to receive. It can turn your winter into spring!
I am so ready for no more cloudy days. Join me.
Merry Christmas!
Jerry Wells
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Merry Christmas, 2007
The great preacher Dr. Adrian Rogers said a marriage relationship is the closest we can come on earth to what relationships are like in heaven. My experience with Debbie would cause me to agree! Because of the terrible conditions in my family as child, as a young Christian I had a dream of what a marriage could be like if two people would follow God’s ways. After a rocky start, Debbie and I began to experience the promises of God in our relationship. At some point in the last five years, our relationship became better than what either of us had ever imagined. Our delight in one another surpassed anything that Hollywood could manufacture. We experienced a romance that is only made in heaven.
God’s plans for us can take us to highest peaks and the lowest valleys. In my lowest valley, it would be easy for me to conclude that God must be very cruel. By following God’s plan for marriage, Debbie and I reached the highest peak of human experience. Then suddenly, God’s plan plunged me into the lowest valley. I know people who conclude that it is better not to marry than to have such a passionate love and then lose it. They seem to be saying that they regret they followed God’s ways because of the intense sorrow that is created by losing your love.
What could add to my personal resentment at God is a circumstance that could also be interpreted as an act of cruelty. Since Debbie died, couples are standing in line for me to marry them. I will do more weddings this year and next year than I normally do in five. I also spend six hours with each couple in premarital counseling. I will not marry a couple unless they are willing to do this. Hour after hour I talk with each couple about how to follow God’s ways for marriage. Every lesson is tied closely to my marriage to Debbie. I cannot share these lessons without remembering her and how I was so blessed. I speak to each couple choking on my sorrow thru out our meetings.
Then there are the weddings. In every single one, when the doors open for the bride to enter, I can hardly contain myself. I stand there at the alter, not as a 52 year old Pastor, but as a 22 year old college graduate waiting on my bride, Debbie Mills. I have performed every ceremony with tear filled eyes.
What is God doing? I know I am chosen for this. My first name means one who exalts Jehovah. This is for His praise and His glory. He has given me a platform and the ability to communicate. He then reveals to me what He wants me to say. Please listen to someone who has been with God. He is near to the brokenhearted.
I want you to understand how special you are to the one true God. I know that you may not feel special. Life is difficult! I do not have to explain. It is hard to see just how special you are to God. If it was easy, you would not need faith. The fact that you are so special to Him is a theme that runs from Genesis to Revelation. He has chosen you to be one with Him. He wants you to walk with Him for all of eternity. He has paid the ultimate price to fulfill His plan for your relationship to Him.
Besides the Bible, God sends people into our life who share His image. He wants us to see how special we are to Him by how we are treated by these people. There will not be many of them. It is easy to miss them and the message God is sending us thru them in the midst of so many who are not true friends. Then even our best friends may fail us at times. Don’t allow humanity to keep you from missing the message. God sends special people into our lives to show us how special we are to Him.
Debbie was one of those people for me. In fact she is at the top of my list. I have never been loved like she loved me. Every day when we awoke in the morning, one of her main goals was to let me know that day how special I was. Day after day and year after year she labored to do this. In the midst of all of her other duties she would find ways to communicate to me how special I was.
Then it happened. At some point, this became one of my daily ambitions for her. In the midst of all of my other duties I would search for ways to communicate to her how special she was. This sent our relationship over the top of what either of us expected from marriage. We couldn’t wait to be with one another in those private moments. We were living a romance made in heaven.
She also lived this way for others. First there were her children and grandchildren. She was always looking for ways to let them know how special they are. Then there was our extended family. Then there were our family friends and our church family. She lived her life each day just trying to let other people know how special they were. This is why she loved helping people put together their photo albums. It was not a business for her. She loved to help ladies show their loved ones how special they are. This is why so many people would call Debbie their best friend. What a brilliant way to live.
The last seven and one half months of her life she out did herself or God out did Himself. In spite of battling cancer and enduring such harsh treatments, her star shined even brighter. It was never about her. It was always about letting others know they were special. It was in her eyes, her smile, and her words. To be in her presence her last months was the greatest miracle I have ever witnessed. Person after person was touched by how special she made them feel. We received letter after letter from her admirers that all say a similar message.
This was God’s image in her. What Debbie became was just Jesus shining thru her. She revealed how special we all are to God! She revealed how special you are to God.
You are so special to God. You have the witness of God’s Written Word. You have the witness of the people that He sends into your life who shares His image, who treat you the way Debbie treated me. But above all, you have the witness of God’s son. The birth, life, and death of Jesus are an endless announcement that you are special to God.
Will you hear the message this Christmas season? Will you receive the message this Christmas from someone who has been with God? He is near to the broken hearted.
From the Wells family to all of our family and friends, and to all those who receive this letter from our family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
God’s plans for us can take us to highest peaks and the lowest valleys. In my lowest valley, it would be easy for me to conclude that God must be very cruel. By following God’s plan for marriage, Debbie and I reached the highest peak of human experience. Then suddenly, God’s plan plunged me into the lowest valley. I know people who conclude that it is better not to marry than to have such a passionate love and then lose it. They seem to be saying that they regret they followed God’s ways because of the intense sorrow that is created by losing your love.
What could add to my personal resentment at God is a circumstance that could also be interpreted as an act of cruelty. Since Debbie died, couples are standing in line for me to marry them. I will do more weddings this year and next year than I normally do in five. I also spend six hours with each couple in premarital counseling. I will not marry a couple unless they are willing to do this. Hour after hour I talk with each couple about how to follow God’s ways for marriage. Every lesson is tied closely to my marriage to Debbie. I cannot share these lessons without remembering her and how I was so blessed. I speak to each couple choking on my sorrow thru out our meetings.
Then there are the weddings. In every single one, when the doors open for the bride to enter, I can hardly contain myself. I stand there at the alter, not as a 52 year old Pastor, but as a 22 year old college graduate waiting on my bride, Debbie Mills. I have performed every ceremony with tear filled eyes.
What is God doing? I know I am chosen for this. My first name means one who exalts Jehovah. This is for His praise and His glory. He has given me a platform and the ability to communicate. He then reveals to me what He wants me to say. Please listen to someone who has been with God. He is near to the brokenhearted.
I want you to understand how special you are to the one true God. I know that you may not feel special. Life is difficult! I do not have to explain. It is hard to see just how special you are to God. If it was easy, you would not need faith. The fact that you are so special to Him is a theme that runs from Genesis to Revelation. He has chosen you to be one with Him. He wants you to walk with Him for all of eternity. He has paid the ultimate price to fulfill His plan for your relationship to Him.
Besides the Bible, God sends people into our life who share His image. He wants us to see how special we are to Him by how we are treated by these people. There will not be many of them. It is easy to miss them and the message God is sending us thru them in the midst of so many who are not true friends. Then even our best friends may fail us at times. Don’t allow humanity to keep you from missing the message. God sends special people into our lives to show us how special we are to Him.
Debbie was one of those people for me. In fact she is at the top of my list. I have never been loved like she loved me. Every day when we awoke in the morning, one of her main goals was to let me know that day how special I was. Day after day and year after year she labored to do this. In the midst of all of her other duties she would find ways to communicate to me how special I was.
Then it happened. At some point, this became one of my daily ambitions for her. In the midst of all of my other duties I would search for ways to communicate to her how special she was. This sent our relationship over the top of what either of us expected from marriage. We couldn’t wait to be with one another in those private moments. We were living a romance made in heaven.
She also lived this way for others. First there were her children and grandchildren. She was always looking for ways to let them know how special they are. Then there was our extended family. Then there were our family friends and our church family. She lived her life each day just trying to let other people know how special they were. This is why she loved helping people put together their photo albums. It was not a business for her. She loved to help ladies show their loved ones how special they are. This is why so many people would call Debbie their best friend. What a brilliant way to live.
The last seven and one half months of her life she out did herself or God out did Himself. In spite of battling cancer and enduring such harsh treatments, her star shined even brighter. It was never about her. It was always about letting others know they were special. It was in her eyes, her smile, and her words. To be in her presence her last months was the greatest miracle I have ever witnessed. Person after person was touched by how special she made them feel. We received letter after letter from her admirers that all say a similar message.
This was God’s image in her. What Debbie became was just Jesus shining thru her. She revealed how special we all are to God! She revealed how special you are to God.
You are so special to God. You have the witness of God’s Written Word. You have the witness of the people that He sends into your life who shares His image, who treat you the way Debbie treated me. But above all, you have the witness of God’s son. The birth, life, and death of Jesus are an endless announcement that you are special to God.
Will you hear the message this Christmas season? Will you receive the message this Christmas from someone who has been with God? He is near to the broken hearted.
From the Wells family to all of our family and friends, and to all those who receive this letter from our family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Thanksgiving 2007
Thanksgiving, 2007, our first without Debbie. My daughter-in-law Jill has done more than anyone could expect to help our family have a wonderful holiday. She adorned our house with the traditional thanksgiving dress of pumpkins and thanksgiving colors. She prepared a cherry cobbler for our Tuesday night dinner at church. It was gone almost as quickly as Debbie’s banana cake. She baked what is becoming one of our family’s favorite breads for our family feast. Most important, she brightened our house with her peaceful spirit that she wears every day.
When I awoke early on Thanksgiving morning the first thing that I noticed was the kitchen was quiet. Debbie was such an early riser. Most days, she would get up before me to pray and study God’s Word at her private alter.
It was her custom to rise early on Thanksgiving Day. When I would wake up on Thanksgiving Day, the door to our room would be open. I would hear the sounds of the kitchen-a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the electric mixer-the refrigerator door opening and closing-the hum of the oven. Then there was the music. Debbie would be either singing a Christmas song or a Christmas CD would be playing one of her favorite Christmas tunes.
Then there would be phone calls to one or more of her siblings or her mother who lived in Kermit, Texas. Her voice would ring out “Goooood Morning” or “Happy Thanksgiving,” as soon as someone on the other end of the line answered the phone. On this Thanksgiving morning, when I woke up and was lying in bed, the kitchen was quiet.
I made it through the morning at home secretly reliving various memories and then our family joined the Richey and Burgess families at the Richey’s new home for our Thanksgiving Celebration. Our annual feast was one of the best. Trent shared a wonderful devotional from the scripture on how there is a time for everything but God is with us each step of the way. My brother Jim and Sister Sandy and their families dropped by for a visit. Then we were off to the gym for our annual holiday basketball game. By the time I arrived home that evening with a very sore calf, the day was spent. I shed a bucket full of tears and went to bed.
When I woke up Friday morning, the first thing I heard was sounds coming from the kitchen. There was a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the refrigerator opening and closing-the hum of the oven, and there was music. It was a Christmas CD like the ones Debbie would have chosen.
When I turned the corner, there stood my oldest son Josh (age 29) making our family a holiday breakfast like the ones his mother fixed for him. As I looked at Josh I saw his mother. Within his 6’4” frame I sensed her spirit and her heart. In his eyes, I saw her character and the joy she had for serving us.
I was reminded again that although she is gone, she left behind a legacy of her beauty in all of her children. What she was is within them and this world is a much better place because of Debbie Wells.
Debbie would say, “It is because of Jesus!”
And because of Jesus we can see Debbie again. Until that day!
Jerry Wells
When I awoke early on Thanksgiving morning the first thing that I noticed was the kitchen was quiet. Debbie was such an early riser. Most days, she would get up before me to pray and study God’s Word at her private alter.
It was her custom to rise early on Thanksgiving Day. When I would wake up on Thanksgiving Day, the door to our room would be open. I would hear the sounds of the kitchen-a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the electric mixer-the refrigerator door opening and closing-the hum of the oven. Then there was the music. Debbie would be either singing a Christmas song or a Christmas CD would be playing one of her favorite Christmas tunes.
Then there would be phone calls to one or more of her siblings or her mother who lived in Kermit, Texas. Her voice would ring out “Goooood Morning” or “Happy Thanksgiving,” as soon as someone on the other end of the line answered the phone. On this Thanksgiving morning, when I woke up and was lying in bed, the kitchen was quiet.
I made it through the morning at home secretly reliving various memories and then our family joined the Richey and Burgess families at the Richey’s new home for our Thanksgiving Celebration. Our annual feast was one of the best. Trent shared a wonderful devotional from the scripture on how there is a time for everything but God is with us each step of the way. My brother Jim and Sister Sandy and their families dropped by for a visit. Then we were off to the gym for our annual holiday basketball game. By the time I arrived home that evening with a very sore calf, the day was spent. I shed a bucket full of tears and went to bed.
When I woke up Friday morning, the first thing I heard was sounds coming from the kitchen. There was a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the refrigerator opening and closing-the hum of the oven, and there was music. It was a Christmas CD like the ones Debbie would have chosen.
When I turned the corner, there stood my oldest son Josh (age 29) making our family a holiday breakfast like the ones his mother fixed for him. As I looked at Josh I saw his mother. Within his 6’4” frame I sensed her spirit and her heart. In his eyes, I saw her character and the joy she had for serving us.
I was reminded again that although she is gone, she left behind a legacy of her beauty in all of her children. What she was is within them and this world is a much better place because of Debbie Wells.
Debbie would say, “It is because of Jesus!”
And because of Jesus we can see Debbie again. Until that day!
Jerry Wells
Monday, November 12, 2007
November 12, 2007
Saturday, November 10, I attended Homecoming at Oklahoma Baptist University. I graduated from OBU in May, 1977, which was also the year that Debbie and I married and moved to Fort Worth to attend seminary. I cannot believe that it has been 30 years!
At homecoming, I played basketball in the annual alumni basketball game for former players. My son Josh also attended OBU and played basketball so we were able to play together in this game for the very first time. This was a great thrill for me. I am very grateful that I am still healthy enough to play and compete at age 52 with my grandchildren looking on.
I saw many old friends that I had not seen in years. They had heard about Debbie and expressed their condolences. I had the opportunity to update my class at our 1977 class luncheon. It was difficult but I made it through it.
Many people asked me how I was doing and how the children were doing. What a difficult question to answer. When I tell them I am doing well, I feel like I am being dishonest because I remember what well was like before Debbie was diagnosed with cancer.
Compared to that well, I do not consider myself to be doing well.
“Well” has a new definition to me and I do not have time to explain this to everyone who asks, “How are you doing?” Well means I am experiencing great sorrow but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well means I am able to pull myself together after being curled up in a fetal position and I am still able to function and contribute to the well fare of others. Well means there are lots of good times and happy moments with my family and friends.
This is what well means…
2 Cor 4:8-10
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed --
NKJV
What an honest summation Paul gave of his life. Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down but not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed.
Paul experienced great sorrow but said that he was not in despair. To be in despair means to believe there is no way out.
There is a way out. It is called the resurrection. That is why Paul said in verse 14…
2 Cor 4:14
14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.
NKJV
I do not know if on this earth I will always feel the sorrow I feel now or to what degree I will feel this sorrow. It really doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to realize that many people feel this sorrow and that they have no hope that their feelings of sorrow will ever change.
Many reside in nursing homes, mental hospitals, V.A. Hospitals, burn centers, and cancer wards. Others live alone across the street from people like you and me. Others wander as homeless beggars through our streets. Many live as orphaned children in places like Africa where the average life span for men in some countries is about 40. I have been touched by the sorrow they feel. It has left a great impression on my soul. It grieves me that they do not have any hope.
It also grieves me that people who enter eternity without Jesus will experience this sorrow for all of eternity. Jesus will wipe every tear away from my eyes. Sorrow will no longer be one of my closest companions. But for those who are not in Christ their sorrow will never end.
God uses our troubles to make us sensitive to the troubles of others. As Paul said…
2 Cor 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
KJV
Experiencing sorrow changes us. It will either make us more into a selfish narcissist or it will enlarge our heart of compassion for others. My prayer is…
Ps 119:32
32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
KJV
Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chron 4:9-10
9 And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
KJV
I never considered that when I prayed the prayer of Jabez and asked God to enlarge my coast that He would first have to enlarge my heart through sorrow. Sometimes God enlarges the boarders of our ministry by first enlarging our heart of compassion through sorrow. He uses our own personal sorrow to stretch our hearts out to others. It is no accident that Jabez’s name means “to grieve and be sorrowful.”
Do I like it? No! Do I have pity parties at times? Yes! Am I thankful yet? No! God and I still have some work to do.
So how am I doing? “Well?” No! Debbie is doing Well. She is doing well because she is well. The tears have been wiped away.
But until that day may our faithful God keep enlarging our hearts and our boarders. When He uses sorrow to enlarge our boarders may He strengthen us with the hope that only comes from His presence and His promise of resurrection. And may the life that we live with sorrow bring hope to others who so desperately need it.
P.S. Please pray for my dear friend Woody Shoemaker and his six children. Gail, his beloved wife and mother to his children, died Saturday morning. She has been suffering from a brain tumor that was diagnosed last February. You can read about their journey on their blog.
http://www.xanga.com/the_shoemaker_update
At homecoming, I played basketball in the annual alumni basketball game for former players. My son Josh also attended OBU and played basketball so we were able to play together in this game for the very first time. This was a great thrill for me. I am very grateful that I am still healthy enough to play and compete at age 52 with my grandchildren looking on.
I saw many old friends that I had not seen in years. They had heard about Debbie and expressed their condolences. I had the opportunity to update my class at our 1977 class luncheon. It was difficult but I made it through it.
Many people asked me how I was doing and how the children were doing. What a difficult question to answer. When I tell them I am doing well, I feel like I am being dishonest because I remember what well was like before Debbie was diagnosed with cancer.
Compared to that well, I do not consider myself to be doing well.
“Well” has a new definition to me and I do not have time to explain this to everyone who asks, “How are you doing?” Well means I am experiencing great sorrow but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well means I am able to pull myself together after being curled up in a fetal position and I am still able to function and contribute to the well fare of others. Well means there are lots of good times and happy moments with my family and friends.
This is what well means…
2 Cor 4:8-10
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed --
NKJV
What an honest summation Paul gave of his life. Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down but not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed.
Paul experienced great sorrow but said that he was not in despair. To be in despair means to believe there is no way out.
There is a way out. It is called the resurrection. That is why Paul said in verse 14…
2 Cor 4:14
14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.
NKJV
I do not know if on this earth I will always feel the sorrow I feel now or to what degree I will feel this sorrow. It really doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to realize that many people feel this sorrow and that they have no hope that their feelings of sorrow will ever change.
Many reside in nursing homes, mental hospitals, V.A. Hospitals, burn centers, and cancer wards. Others live alone across the street from people like you and me. Others wander as homeless beggars through our streets. Many live as orphaned children in places like Africa where the average life span for men in some countries is about 40. I have been touched by the sorrow they feel. It has left a great impression on my soul. It grieves me that they do not have any hope.
It also grieves me that people who enter eternity without Jesus will experience this sorrow for all of eternity. Jesus will wipe every tear away from my eyes. Sorrow will no longer be one of my closest companions. But for those who are not in Christ their sorrow will never end.
God uses our troubles to make us sensitive to the troubles of others. As Paul said…
2 Cor 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
KJV
Experiencing sorrow changes us. It will either make us more into a selfish narcissist or it will enlarge our heart of compassion for others. My prayer is…
Ps 119:32
32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
KJV
Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chron 4:9-10
9 And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
KJV
I never considered that when I prayed the prayer of Jabez and asked God to enlarge my coast that He would first have to enlarge my heart through sorrow. Sometimes God enlarges the boarders of our ministry by first enlarging our heart of compassion through sorrow. He uses our own personal sorrow to stretch our hearts out to others. It is no accident that Jabez’s name means “to grieve and be sorrowful.”
Do I like it? No! Do I have pity parties at times? Yes! Am I thankful yet? No! God and I still have some work to do.
So how am I doing? “Well?” No! Debbie is doing Well. She is doing well because she is well. The tears have been wiped away.
But until that day may our faithful God keep enlarging our hearts and our boarders. When He uses sorrow to enlarge our boarders may He strengthen us with the hope that only comes from His presence and His promise of resurrection. And may the life that we live with sorrow bring hope to others who so desperately need it.
P.S. Please pray for my dear friend Woody Shoemaker and his six children. Gail, his beloved wife and mother to his children, died Saturday morning. She has been suffering from a brain tumor that was diagnosed last February. You can read about their journey on their blog.
http://www.xanga.com/the_shoemaker_update
Monday, October 08, 2007
This Part Of The Journey-Crying Out
This part of the journey is not one that I would have chosen for myself or my children. A few days ago, one of my adult children was at the house and their eyes were very red and swollen. Since they had just gotten to the house, I asked them if they had just come from the cemetery. Their answer was what I suspected. I asked them if they have these kinds of moments on a regular basis. They said yes and especially when they go to the cemetery.
This is a painful journey for our family. The pain is relative to different circumstances in our lives. I had no idea that people experienced this kind of emotional pain. I was so young when I lost my mother. I am now much more compassionate.
I would describe this emotional pain like those who have an ongoing permanent painful physical disability. Every day you wake up it is there. Some days it is better than others but it is always there.
We would never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that it is going to get better with time. Time does not heal all pain. But because of our compassion for those who are hurting, we want to give them hope. Sometimes a false hope is worse than no hope at all.
The truth is it may never get better. God heals the broken hearted but sometimes that healing is not complete until we get to heaven.
We would also never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that they should not be hurting. Or we would never tell them that it is inappropriate for them to hurt at certain times. This would not be very sensitive. A person who has experienced a great loss like ours cannot control when they hurt unless they take pain killers or go to sleep.
At times, I do avoid certain events so that I will not make others feel bad for me and ruin the evening for them. Some times I can anticipate how certain things are going to make me feel and I evaluate if it is really necessary for me to attend. There is nothing more uncomfortable then sitting through something that everyone else is enjoying with a large lump in your throat because you are holding back the tears. It also makes others feel uncomfortable if they know you are hurting. At this time in my life, it is hard to disguise. My tear ducts are so open they flow like an open water faucet when I feel the slightest tinge of grief.
So what do you do if the pain never gets better? Living with pain is not very American. The American Dream is the possibility of a life with every creature comfort you desire and no pain.
The truth is most Americans live with pain. That is why so many people in our country are addicted to something. It’s normal for people with pain to turn to pain killers.
Living with pain is a new experience for me but it appears to be a permanent one. I can now vaguely remember just a little over a year ago going whole days and even weeks without hurting emotionally. It is already hard to remember what that was like. I feel like I have been sheltered for years from what so many people have been experiencing all around me.
Since my Christian ethic does not permit me to turn to pain killers to relieve emotional pain, what can I do?
I cry out my tears alone a lot. This is God’s natural way for us to find pain relief. It is amazing to me how I can have an emotional melt down and cry violently for a few minutes and then feel good enough to do something productive. This happens a lot on Sunday mornings before I preach.
I cry out to God a lot. I have stopped asking Him to take away the pain. I just ask Him to help me be strong enough to glorify Him with the way I live in spite of the pain.
I cry out to other people a lot. I have a small group of friends that are comfortable with me telling them how I feel and why. These friends do not expect me to get over it. Their goal is be a good listener and pray for me. Some of them have gone through a similar experience and talk to me about their feelings. It is comforting to just talk about your feelings in a safe environment. I have come to realize that I have not been a very good listener to the hurting people in my life.
I know this does not sound very appealing. But I have realized that being victorious does not always mean being delivered from your pain. It means having the strength to endure the pain in a way that honors God. I have found crying out to be very helpful to reach this goal.
And there are a lot of happy moments that I do experience in the midst of the pain. Every night my three year old granddaughter Gwynneth finds me to hug me before she goes to bed. Thank you Jesus! And nearly every day my eleven month old grandson Caedmon tries to show me his manhood by climbing over another obstacle in our house. I affectionately call Caedmon caveman. Thank you Jesus! And then there is the look of wonder on Will’s face when he realizes that he has just learned something for school that we have been working so hard to memorize. Thank you Jesus! And then there are the new levels of maturity that I see developing in each one of my children. Thank you Jesus! And I still like good food and an O.U. victory. And I love seeing people in our church get a hold of a vital truth. Thank you Jesus! And there is the hope of heaven and my reunion with my hero, Debbie Wells. Thank you, thank you Jesus.
There is happiness in the midst of the pain. And there is joy unspeakable and full of glory. I just wish Debbie was here to share this life with me. Until that day!
J
Jerry Wells
This is a painful journey for our family. The pain is relative to different circumstances in our lives. I had no idea that people experienced this kind of emotional pain. I was so young when I lost my mother. I am now much more compassionate.
I would describe this emotional pain like those who have an ongoing permanent painful physical disability. Every day you wake up it is there. Some days it is better than others but it is always there.
We would never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that it is going to get better with time. Time does not heal all pain. But because of our compassion for those who are hurting, we want to give them hope. Sometimes a false hope is worse than no hope at all.
The truth is it may never get better. God heals the broken hearted but sometimes that healing is not complete until we get to heaven.
We would also never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that they should not be hurting. Or we would never tell them that it is inappropriate for them to hurt at certain times. This would not be very sensitive. A person who has experienced a great loss like ours cannot control when they hurt unless they take pain killers or go to sleep.
At times, I do avoid certain events so that I will not make others feel bad for me and ruin the evening for them. Some times I can anticipate how certain things are going to make me feel and I evaluate if it is really necessary for me to attend. There is nothing more uncomfortable then sitting through something that everyone else is enjoying with a large lump in your throat because you are holding back the tears. It also makes others feel uncomfortable if they know you are hurting. At this time in my life, it is hard to disguise. My tear ducts are so open they flow like an open water faucet when I feel the slightest tinge of grief.
So what do you do if the pain never gets better? Living with pain is not very American. The American Dream is the possibility of a life with every creature comfort you desire and no pain.
The truth is most Americans live with pain. That is why so many people in our country are addicted to something. It’s normal for people with pain to turn to pain killers.
Living with pain is a new experience for me but it appears to be a permanent one. I can now vaguely remember just a little over a year ago going whole days and even weeks without hurting emotionally. It is already hard to remember what that was like. I feel like I have been sheltered for years from what so many people have been experiencing all around me.
Since my Christian ethic does not permit me to turn to pain killers to relieve emotional pain, what can I do?
I cry out my tears alone a lot. This is God’s natural way for us to find pain relief. It is amazing to me how I can have an emotional melt down and cry violently for a few minutes and then feel good enough to do something productive. This happens a lot on Sunday mornings before I preach.
I cry out to God a lot. I have stopped asking Him to take away the pain. I just ask Him to help me be strong enough to glorify Him with the way I live in spite of the pain.
I cry out to other people a lot. I have a small group of friends that are comfortable with me telling them how I feel and why. These friends do not expect me to get over it. Their goal is be a good listener and pray for me. Some of them have gone through a similar experience and talk to me about their feelings. It is comforting to just talk about your feelings in a safe environment. I have come to realize that I have not been a very good listener to the hurting people in my life.
I know this does not sound very appealing. But I have realized that being victorious does not always mean being delivered from your pain. It means having the strength to endure the pain in a way that honors God. I have found crying out to be very helpful to reach this goal.
And there are a lot of happy moments that I do experience in the midst of the pain. Every night my three year old granddaughter Gwynneth finds me to hug me before she goes to bed. Thank you Jesus! And nearly every day my eleven month old grandson Caedmon tries to show me his manhood by climbing over another obstacle in our house. I affectionately call Caedmon caveman. Thank you Jesus! And then there is the look of wonder on Will’s face when he realizes that he has just learned something for school that we have been working so hard to memorize. Thank you Jesus! And then there are the new levels of maturity that I see developing in each one of my children. Thank you Jesus! And I still like good food and an O.U. victory. And I love seeing people in our church get a hold of a vital truth. Thank you Jesus! And there is the hope of heaven and my reunion with my hero, Debbie Wells. Thank you, thank you Jesus.
There is happiness in the midst of the pain. And there is joy unspeakable and full of glory. I just wish Debbie was here to share this life with me. Until that day!
J
Jerry Wells
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Homework
Dear Friends and Family:
Will and I are experiencing something new. Homework! When Debbie and I were educating our children at home, our children were normally finished with school by the time that I got home in the evening. Now it is not unusual for Will and me to spend several hours together in the evening finishing his daily assignments and doing his homework.
Recently his grandmother asked what he liked most about going to Christian Heritage Academy. Will said it was the homework. I wish that I had the same attitude.
Is it the homework or is it the personal time with Dad? For a ten year old who has just lost his mother I would conclude that it is the personal time with Dad. His need for me is even greater since Debbie’s home going.
Who would have thought that something like homework would help meet Will’s need? Homework is normally something that students despise. Homework is normally something that students want to finish as quickly as possible. Homework is normally something that students dread.
God is always giving us homework. Our homework is those people and circumstances in our lives that we would rather avoid. But with each assignment God is meeting a great need in our life. Will’s homework makes him more dependent upon me. God’s homework makes us more dependent upon God.
May we all have the same attitude that Will has about His homework. May we see each assignment as God’s way to make us more dependent upon Him. And may we always delight in more personal time with our Heavenly Father!
Prayerfully,
Jerry Wells
Will and I are experiencing something new. Homework! When Debbie and I were educating our children at home, our children were normally finished with school by the time that I got home in the evening. Now it is not unusual for Will and me to spend several hours together in the evening finishing his daily assignments and doing his homework.
Recently his grandmother asked what he liked most about going to Christian Heritage Academy. Will said it was the homework. I wish that I had the same attitude.
Is it the homework or is it the personal time with Dad? For a ten year old who has just lost his mother I would conclude that it is the personal time with Dad. His need for me is even greater since Debbie’s home going.
Who would have thought that something like homework would help meet Will’s need? Homework is normally something that students despise. Homework is normally something that students want to finish as quickly as possible. Homework is normally something that students dread.
God is always giving us homework. Our homework is those people and circumstances in our lives that we would rather avoid. But with each assignment God is meeting a great need in our life. Will’s homework makes him more dependent upon me. God’s homework makes us more dependent upon God.
May we all have the same attitude that Will has about His homework. May we see each assignment as God’s way to make us more dependent upon Him. And may we always delight in more personal time with our Heavenly Father!
Prayerfully,
Jerry Wells
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
An Update And A Request
Thanks again for supporting our family during such a time as this. Each prayer you offer on our behalf is pleasing to the Lord. I know that you are sharing His heart with us when you pray for us.
We are very busy. There are eleven of us living in my home. Josh and Jill and my two grand babies moved in with us in July. They have been such a tremendous help and support to us in so many ways. It is has been a smooth adjustment because of their maturity in the Lord. I am very grateful.
Josh is completing his last year of law school at OCU. He had done very well and we anticipate he will have several opportunities to start his practice when he is finished.
Besides Josh finishing law school, Zach is a junior at Mid American Christian University which is just down the road from us. That is where his fiancée Karla Davis also attends. It appears their wedding will be early next summer.
Jacob is my only child that is not living at the house. He is doing a remarkable job selling cars at Bob Howard Toyota in Edmond, Oklahoma.
Caleb is a full time student at Moore Norman Vocational Center. He is studying auto mechanics. This will be very helpful to the Wells since there are normally seven or more cars in our drive way at home.
Grace is taking 16 hours at OCCC, a local two year college. She is just getting her basics out of the way as she considers her major.
Jeremiah, Mercy, and William are all fully involved at Christian Heritage Academy thanks to the gifts that were given in Debbie’s honor. Jeremiah is playing football for the first time and it has been a great experience. Mercy has several new friends and is preparing to play basketball. I call her the best athlete in our family but she does not know it. William is literally a full time student. We have some catching up to do so Will and I normally spend several hours each evening doing his homework. All of the children are being challenged academically and are embracing the challenge. CHA is definitely exactly what we need at such a time as this. I am very grateful for this opportunity for my children.
I am very busy at church, preaching and teaching twice a week, counseling, and leading our wonderful staff. Our church has embraced our new lives and loved us beyond measure.
How are we doing emotionally? It is still very hard for all of us at times as you would expect. We all have our moments! But we enjoy one another and enjoy life like Debbie wanted us to do. She told me that she wanted our home to be a happy place where people would enjoy themselves. Jill has done a wonderful job creating that kind of atmosphere. There is lots of laughter again in spite of our moments.
I want to make an unusual request before all is lost. We are compiling all of our resources for the book that we plan to write about lessons that we learned from Debbie’s life. If you have any e-mails that you received from Debbie that would be helpful would you please send them to us before they are deleted and lost. If you have any stories in which you learned something from Debbie’s life, would you send us those stories and what you learned from her?
I know that this will not be easy for some of you. I have wept many tears re-reading her e-mails or recounting stories about her. But it is also very healing and it will be a great help to us. Obviously I cannot promise that we will use everything we receive in the book but whatever we receive will be maintained for our future generations.
Please send your e-mails from Debbie or stories about her to jerrywells@westernhillschurch.com or jerrywellsfam@gmail.com. You can send mail to our home at 6301 S.W. 123, Oklahoma City, OK 73173, if you need to send a copy of a letter that she wrote to you or send us some other information.
Friends are wonderful. Thank you for being there for us. Please let us hear from you.
Jerry Wells
We are very busy. There are eleven of us living in my home. Josh and Jill and my two grand babies moved in with us in July. They have been such a tremendous help and support to us in so many ways. It is has been a smooth adjustment because of their maturity in the Lord. I am very grateful.
Josh is completing his last year of law school at OCU. He had done very well and we anticipate he will have several opportunities to start his practice when he is finished.
Besides Josh finishing law school, Zach is a junior at Mid American Christian University which is just down the road from us. That is where his fiancée Karla Davis also attends. It appears their wedding will be early next summer.
Jacob is my only child that is not living at the house. He is doing a remarkable job selling cars at Bob Howard Toyota in Edmond, Oklahoma.
Caleb is a full time student at Moore Norman Vocational Center. He is studying auto mechanics. This will be very helpful to the Wells since there are normally seven or more cars in our drive way at home.
Grace is taking 16 hours at OCCC, a local two year college. She is just getting her basics out of the way as she considers her major.
Jeremiah, Mercy, and William are all fully involved at Christian Heritage Academy thanks to the gifts that were given in Debbie’s honor. Jeremiah is playing football for the first time and it has been a great experience. Mercy has several new friends and is preparing to play basketball. I call her the best athlete in our family but she does not know it. William is literally a full time student. We have some catching up to do so Will and I normally spend several hours each evening doing his homework. All of the children are being challenged academically and are embracing the challenge. CHA is definitely exactly what we need at such a time as this. I am very grateful for this opportunity for my children.
I am very busy at church, preaching and teaching twice a week, counseling, and leading our wonderful staff. Our church has embraced our new lives and loved us beyond measure.
How are we doing emotionally? It is still very hard for all of us at times as you would expect. We all have our moments! But we enjoy one another and enjoy life like Debbie wanted us to do. She told me that she wanted our home to be a happy place where people would enjoy themselves. Jill has done a wonderful job creating that kind of atmosphere. There is lots of laughter again in spite of our moments.
I want to make an unusual request before all is lost. We are compiling all of our resources for the book that we plan to write about lessons that we learned from Debbie’s life. If you have any e-mails that you received from Debbie that would be helpful would you please send them to us before they are deleted and lost. If you have any stories in which you learned something from Debbie’s life, would you send us those stories and what you learned from her?
I know that this will not be easy for some of you. I have wept many tears re-reading her e-mails or recounting stories about her. But it is also very healing and it will be a great help to us. Obviously I cannot promise that we will use everything we receive in the book but whatever we receive will be maintained for our future generations.
Please send your e-mails from Debbie or stories about her to jerrywells@westernhillschurch.com or jerrywellsfam@gmail.com. You can send mail to our home at 6301 S.W. 123, Oklahoma City, OK 73173, if you need to send a copy of a letter that she wrote to you or send us some other information.
Friends are wonderful. Thank you for being there for us. Please let us hear from you.
Jerry Wells
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Our First Day Of School At CHA
I have a new e-mail address at home.
It is jerrywellsfam@gmail.com
Dear friends and family:
This morning I took Jeremiah (17), Mercy (15), and William (10) to classes at Christian Heritage Academy for the first time. They were excited and somewhat apprehensive. The reality of our new life together really sank in when we pulled up to the building where nearly 700 other students were unloading from a mass of cars.
While I was there, I thought about how excited Debbie would have been if she was there this morning. I thought about the look of wonder and joy and relief on her face when we told her just a few days before she died that a way was being made for the children to attend CHA. I thought about how this would not be possible without all of you that have helped us and prayed for us.
Thank you for caring for us.
Jerry Wells
It is jerrywellsfam@gmail.com
Dear friends and family:
This morning I took Jeremiah (17), Mercy (15), and William (10) to classes at Christian Heritage Academy for the first time. They were excited and somewhat apprehensive. The reality of our new life together really sank in when we pulled up to the building where nearly 700 other students were unloading from a mass of cars.
While I was there, I thought about how excited Debbie would have been if she was there this morning. I thought about the look of wonder and joy and relief on her face when we told her just a few days before she died that a way was being made for the children to attend CHA. I thought about how this would not be possible without all of you that have helped us and prayed for us.
Thank you for caring for us.
Jerry Wells
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Copy Of Video Recording Of Debbie's Funeral Service
Dear Friends:
If you would like a copy of the video recording of Debbie's funeral service please use the form below to make an order. Due to the life that Debbie lived and the testimonies that were shared, we have heard from many people who attended the service that God changed their lives. We believe that Debbie's life message will continue to be a blessing to those on earth even as she enjoys her eternal life in heaven.
Jerry Wells
Psalms 40:1-3
Western Hills Church Video Productions Ministry
Debbie Wells Memorial Service
DVD Order Form
(please print clearly)
Last:_______________________ First:_________________
Address:__________________________________________
City:______________________ State:_____ Zip:_________
Phone: (____)____-________ Phone: (____)____-________
Email:____________________________________________
DVD Order Information:
Number of copies: _______
Number of copies x $10: $_______
Shipping and handling: $ 2.00
Sub total for purchase: $_______
Total amount enclosed: $______________
Please complete this form and mail with payment to:
Western Hills Church
401 SW 44th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73109
Call 405-634-1454 and ask for Brandon Werner if you have any questions.
If you would like a copy of the video recording of Debbie's funeral service please use the form below to make an order. Due to the life that Debbie lived and the testimonies that were shared, we have heard from many people who attended the service that God changed their lives. We believe that Debbie's life message will continue to be a blessing to those on earth even as she enjoys her eternal life in heaven.
Jerry Wells
Psalms 40:1-3
Western Hills Church Video Productions Ministry
Debbie Wells Memorial Service
DVD Order Form
(please print clearly)
Last:_______________________ First:_________________
Address:__________________________________________
City:______________________ State:_____ Zip:_________
Phone: (____)____-________ Phone: (____)____-________
Email:____________________________________________
DVD Order Information:
Number of copies: _______
Number of copies x $10: $_______
Shipping and handling: $ 2.00
Sub total for purchase: $_______
Total amount enclosed: $______________
Please complete this form and mail with payment to:
Western Hills Church
401 SW 44th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73109
Call 405-634-1454 and ask for Brandon Werner if you have any questions.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thank You!
My words are totally insufficient to express our gratitude for the love and support that each one of you have given to us during the last eight months. You have provided for our family a support system of prayer and service that has expressed the love of Christ for all of us. Thank you for standing with us at a time such as this.
The vacuum that our family feels is so vast that it cannot be measured. The grief and sorrow is like a giant wave at times and all we can do is surrender to it. We have learned that the best thing we can do during these times is cry and talk with one another and pray. The release makes us feel better until we experience the next wave.
The waves will get smaller with the passing of time and less frequent. As Debbie has been fully delivered from her suffering, one day we will be completely delivered from ours. Until then, I want to learn to be like her as she dealt with her sorrow the last eight months.
She was for all of our family a true champion of faith in the way she responded to her greatest trial. Watching her be joyful and be happy and loving to others day after day in the midst of her suffering was one of the greatest miracles I have ever witnessed. I can get grumpy just with a cold or a bad nights sleep.
Her personal journal reveals just how much she suffered. But in spite of her pain, she drew upon the Lord to be such a great blessing to us and to others.
God’s grace is sufficient in our every weakness. We just have to have the right goal for our life and be humble enough to receive the grace that He promises.
Debbie’s goal for her life was to honor the Lord and to bring glory to Him with the way she lived and treated others. She loved God when she discovered how much He loved her. His payment for her sin broke her and made her what she became.
Her humility was forged through a life of experiences in which she would come to the end of herself. I saw it happen over and over again at her private alter.
It was all of these experiences of brokenness at her private alter that prepared her for her greatest trial.
It was such a privilege to be married to someone like her and to be loved by her. Today marks the thirty first anniversary of the day that I proposed to her. Not everyone has the privilege of knowing the kind of love that Debbie and I shared as husband and wife. It takes two people who are committed to live out God’s Word in their relationship to have such an experience of love. God’s Word is the truth and those who follow His commands will be greatly blessed in the midst of the greatest of trials.
I am thanking the Lord today for what He has allowed us to experience together. We did not deserve it. We were just two lost sinners when He found us. It has been amazing to both of us why He still loved us.
And one day soon we will celebrate together His love for us. Please join us!
Jerry Wells
The vacuum that our family feels is so vast that it cannot be measured. The grief and sorrow is like a giant wave at times and all we can do is surrender to it. We have learned that the best thing we can do during these times is cry and talk with one another and pray. The release makes us feel better until we experience the next wave.
The waves will get smaller with the passing of time and less frequent. As Debbie has been fully delivered from her suffering, one day we will be completely delivered from ours. Until then, I want to learn to be like her as she dealt with her sorrow the last eight months.
She was for all of our family a true champion of faith in the way she responded to her greatest trial. Watching her be joyful and be happy and loving to others day after day in the midst of her suffering was one of the greatest miracles I have ever witnessed. I can get grumpy just with a cold or a bad nights sleep.
Her personal journal reveals just how much she suffered. But in spite of her pain, she drew upon the Lord to be such a great blessing to us and to others.
God’s grace is sufficient in our every weakness. We just have to have the right goal for our life and be humble enough to receive the grace that He promises.
Debbie’s goal for her life was to honor the Lord and to bring glory to Him with the way she lived and treated others. She loved God when she discovered how much He loved her. His payment for her sin broke her and made her what she became.
Her humility was forged through a life of experiences in which she would come to the end of herself. I saw it happen over and over again at her private alter.
It was all of these experiences of brokenness at her private alter that prepared her for her greatest trial.
It was such a privilege to be married to someone like her and to be loved by her. Today marks the thirty first anniversary of the day that I proposed to her. Not everyone has the privilege of knowing the kind of love that Debbie and I shared as husband and wife. It takes two people who are committed to live out God’s Word in their relationship to have such an experience of love. God’s Word is the truth and those who follow His commands will be greatly blessed in the midst of the greatest of trials.
I am thanking the Lord today for what He has allowed us to experience together. We did not deserve it. We were just two lost sinners when He found us. It has been amazing to both of us why He still loved us.
And one day soon we will celebrate together His love for us. Please join us!
Jerry Wells
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Carrying On Mom's Legacy
Thanks to all who came to Mom's service on Monday, and thank you to the many who have sent messages of condolence to our family. As near as we can tell, around 1,300 people attended the funeral.
Mom was definitely a hero of faith, and we, as a family, have a strong desire that her story continue to be told and her testimony continue to go out even after her death. We are looking at the different avenues available to us in order to accomplish this goal. One thing that is in the works is we will be attempting to make DVD's of Mom's "Mrs. PJ" skits available to the public. At this point we're not sure how many quality recordings we have, but there are a few. Other thoughts have been to write a book telling her testimony, or a devotional book based on her writings and her Mrs. PJ character. Obviously we have not had the opportunity to get into details yet, but I wanted you all to know that we are committed to promoting her testimony and legacy for as long as we possibly can. Mom's life was too powerful and precious to not share it with as many people as we possibly can.
Eventually a website will be set up devoted to Mom's ministry. Until then, I encourage you to continue checking this site regularly for updates.
The family has been coping fairly well over the past few days. As the hubbub surrounding the final days of Mom's life and her burial subsides, we all feel the implications of her loss more deeply. We are trying to adjust to a new type of normalcy that doesn't really seem normal at all.
Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers. Again, if you have a testimony of how Mom has touched your life, I encourage you to send it by May 11 so we can include it in the book we are creating for our family to honor her legacy. You can email them to jandjwells@cox.net.
Josh
Mom was definitely a hero of faith, and we, as a family, have a strong desire that her story continue to be told and her testimony continue to go out even after her death. We are looking at the different avenues available to us in order to accomplish this goal. One thing that is in the works is we will be attempting to make DVD's of Mom's "Mrs. PJ" skits available to the public. At this point we're not sure how many quality recordings we have, but there are a few. Other thoughts have been to write a book telling her testimony, or a devotional book based on her writings and her Mrs. PJ character. Obviously we have not had the opportunity to get into details yet, but I wanted you all to know that we are committed to promoting her testimony and legacy for as long as we possibly can. Mom's life was too powerful and precious to not share it with as many people as we possibly can.
Eventually a website will be set up devoted to Mom's ministry. Until then, I encourage you to continue checking this site regularly for updates.
The family has been coping fairly well over the past few days. As the hubbub surrounding the final days of Mom's life and her burial subsides, we all feel the implications of her loss more deeply. We are trying to adjust to a new type of normalcy that doesn't really seem normal at all.
Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers. Again, if you have a testimony of how Mom has touched your life, I encourage you to send it by May 11 so we can include it in the book we are creating for our family to honor her legacy. You can email them to jandjwells@cox.net.
Josh
Sunday, May 06, 2007
A Change In Hours Of Viewing Today
Mom's body is resting at Advantage Bransetter Merritt Funeral Home at 7720 S. Penn. The funeral home is located just south of I-240.
Today's viewing hours have been changed from 9:00am to 5:00pm. If you would like to visit with Dad and some of the other family members at the funeral home, they will be there today from 4:00pm-5:00pm.
Viewing hours tomorrow will be from 8:00am-11:00am at the funeral home. There will also be a viewing before the service begins at the church in the foyer south of the auditorium.
Due to the large crowd we are expecting there will not be a viewing at the end of the service. Also due to the expected crowd, there will be two over flow rooms with video and audio feeds if the auditorium becomes too crowded. We considered having the service in a larger place, but we know that Western Hills is home and so dear to Mom's heart. There will be a number of guests books to sign. Please take the time to sign one of them. This will mean alot to us.
Parking will also be an issue. Besides the parking lots at the church, there are many side streets around the church where parking is permitted.
The family would like to personally greet and thank everyone of you for attending Mom's service. This will not be possible at the service because of the large crowd. We will be available at the cemetery after Mom's burial. Mom will be buried immediately after the service at a new cemetery located at S.W. 119 and Interstate 44 just two miles from our home.
If you unable to make it to the cemetery, please accept now our most heart felt gratitude for your love and support.
The Wells Children
Today's viewing hours have been changed from 9:00am to 5:00pm. If you would like to visit with Dad and some of the other family members at the funeral home, they will be there today from 4:00pm-5:00pm.
Viewing hours tomorrow will be from 8:00am-11:00am at the funeral home. There will also be a viewing before the service begins at the church in the foyer south of the auditorium.
Due to the large crowd we are expecting there will not be a viewing at the end of the service. Also due to the expected crowd, there will be two over flow rooms with video and audio feeds if the auditorium becomes too crowded. We considered having the service in a larger place, but we know that Western Hills is home and so dear to Mom's heart. There will be a number of guests books to sign. Please take the time to sign one of them. This will mean alot to us.
Parking will also be an issue. Besides the parking lots at the church, there are many side streets around the church where parking is permitted.
The family would like to personally greet and thank everyone of you for attending Mom's service. This will not be possible at the service because of the large crowd. We will be available at the cemetery after Mom's burial. Mom will be buried immediately after the service at a new cemetery located at S.W. 119 and Interstate 44 just two miles from our home.
If you unable to make it to the cemetery, please accept now our most heart felt gratitude for your love and support.
The Wells Children
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Mom's Legacy
As I've mentioned before, I am taking the email messages and testimonies I have received and we are binding them into a book for our family.
If you have a specific testimony about Mom that is on your heart, either a specific event or a specific way that Mom has touched your life, please send it to me at jandjwells@cox.net. So many of you have already done this, but I want to give you all a final opportunity to honor Mom in this way.
I'll be trying to get this done fairly soon, so please try to get your testimonies to me by May 12.
Again, I'm so grateful for all of the emails and messages you have sent. We have received well over 1,000 messages for Mom. I've received over 500 in the past 3 weeks alone. We have read each and every one of them.
Josh
If you have a specific testimony about Mom that is on your heart, either a specific event or a specific way that Mom has touched your life, please send it to me at jandjwells@cox.net. So many of you have already done this, but I want to give you all a final opportunity to honor Mom in this way.
I'll be trying to get this done fairly soon, so please try to get your testimonies to me by May 12.
Again, I'm so grateful for all of the emails and messages you have sent. We have received well over 1,000 messages for Mom. I've received over 500 in the past 3 weeks alone. We have read each and every one of them.
Josh
Friday, May 04, 2007
Viewing
Mom's body is resting at Bransetter Merritt Funeral Home at 7720 S. Penn. The funeral home is located just south of I-240. Viewing hours are 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM on Saturday, May 5, and 9:00 AM to 8:00 PM on Sunday, May 6.
Josh
Josh
Thursday, May 03, 2007
5:37 PM, May 3, 2007
Mom's service will be held at 2:00 PM on May 7. It will be held at Western Hills Church on SW 44th and Walker in Oklahoma City.
I lieu of flowers, please give a gift for Mom to William, Jeremiah and Mercy's tuition at Christian Heritage Academy. Instructions for giving are to the right, and if you would like the entire story, read the blog post entitled "A Way to Give Back to Mom."
Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.
Josh
I lieu of flowers, please give a gift for Mom to William, Jeremiah and Mercy's tuition at Christian Heritage Academy. Instructions for giving are to the right, and if you would like the entire story, read the blog post entitled "A Way to Give Back to Mom."
Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.
Josh
1:33 PM, May 3, 2007
Mom passed away a little after 1:00 PM today. She went peacefully and with her family surrounding her.
I'll be posting details about her service as I get them.
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
Josh and the entire Wells Family
I'll be posting details about her service as I get them.
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
Josh and the entire Wells Family
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
11:53 PM, May 2, 2007
Tonight, Mom's blood pressure was 80/60. Her pulse rate is still over 130. She wasn't able to speak today, but she was able to blow a kiss to the grandkids and mouth "I love you" to each of us.
She did not seem to be in pain.
Thanks for your continued prayers.
Josh
She did not seem to be in pain.
Thanks for your continued prayers.
Josh
12:25 PM, May 2, 2007
Mom really enjoyed William's baptism last night. She eased off on her pain medication so she could be cognizant and alert for it. It was easily the highlight of her day.
It is becoming more and more difficult to manage Mom's pain and keep her comfortable. She is herself less and less. Her pulse rate has been extremely high, over 130, and her blood pressure has been low for several days now.
I was not able to read any emails to her yesterday because of her condition while I was with her, but I encourage you to continue sending them and I will read them to her at the first opportunity.
We have received so many testimonies of what Mom has meant to the lives of those she has touched. Our plan is to bind them all in a book and keep it as a legacy that our family can appreciate for generations.
Throughout this entire situation, we have all been blessed by evidence of the Lord's care for our family. One such incident happened last year. For years and years, one of the desires of Mom's heart was to go to Africa with a ministry called Reaching Souls International. Dad and I had been with them nearly 15 years ago where we helped train indigenous pastors in evangelism and discipleship techniques. We then spent a week preaching the Gospel in the streets and marketplaces of Bujumbura, Burundi.
Mom had never been able to go. A trip is a 3-4 week long commitment, and there were always young children to care for and other responsibilities she could not leave for that amount of time. Finally, in 2006, she was able to go. My sister Grace went with her. They spent a week training pastors and their wives and then preached the Gospel in the public areas of Arusha, Tanzania. They saw over 6,000 people come to know the Lord.
You can hear Mom's testimony about the trip by going here:
http://www.reachingsoulsinternational.org/multimedia.html
She returned from Arusha in August, and in September she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I know the Lord's timing was in it. He gave her a desire of her heart before He put her through this trial. It's just another evidence that He cares about all those who serve Him and desires to give them good things.
Mom has been blessed, as has our family. Thank you all for your continued prayers.
Josh
It is becoming more and more difficult to manage Mom's pain and keep her comfortable. She is herself less and less. Her pulse rate has been extremely high, over 130, and her blood pressure has been low for several days now.
I was not able to read any emails to her yesterday because of her condition while I was with her, but I encourage you to continue sending them and I will read them to her at the first opportunity.
We have received so many testimonies of what Mom has meant to the lives of those she has touched. Our plan is to bind them all in a book and keep it as a legacy that our family can appreciate for generations.
Throughout this entire situation, we have all been blessed by evidence of the Lord's care for our family. One such incident happened last year. For years and years, one of the desires of Mom's heart was to go to Africa with a ministry called Reaching Souls International. Dad and I had been with them nearly 15 years ago where we helped train indigenous pastors in evangelism and discipleship techniques. We then spent a week preaching the Gospel in the streets and marketplaces of Bujumbura, Burundi.
Mom had never been able to go. A trip is a 3-4 week long commitment, and there were always young children to care for and other responsibilities she could not leave for that amount of time. Finally, in 2006, she was able to go. My sister Grace went with her. They spent a week training pastors and their wives and then preached the Gospel in the public areas of Arusha, Tanzania. They saw over 6,000 people come to know the Lord.
You can hear Mom's testimony about the trip by going here:
http://www.reachingsoulsinternational.org/multimedia.html
She returned from Arusha in August, and in September she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I know the Lord's timing was in it. He gave her a desire of her heart before He put her through this trial. It's just another evidence that He cares about all those who serve Him and desires to give them good things.
Mom has been blessed, as has our family. Thank you all for your continued prayers.
Josh
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