Debbie Wells Family Updates

Our Home

2009-01-21T10:16:00.000-06:00

January 21, 2009

This part of our journey for our family the last two and one half years has been unlike anything that I could have ever anticipated. I feel like this part of our journey ended with my children moving to Edmond to join me and Saundra and her children in our new home. The addition that we had built onto Saundra’s home was completed and approved to be occupied by the city of Edmond on January 16.

I still lay awake at night at times and ask the question, “Has this really happened?”

It happens to lots of people. My children were very blessed to be in the same family, in the same church, in the same home, and in the same school for so many years. All around us people were going thru changes like the ones we have recently experienced. We never thought it would happen to us. That is not being naïve. If you sat around anticipating what we have been thru, it would not be healthy.

As usual, as I look back, I can see how God has been faithful. He gave Debbie a better home and relieved her of her suffering. He gave us hope for a future in this life when we were hopeless. He gave us an amazing capacity to adapt and adjust to new circumstances and new people. He restored our smiles and our laughter. He restored our ability to dream. He has given us new vision for our lives.

Soon our house at 6301 S.W. 123rd will be empty. We leave behind the Wells Family House with mixed feelings. We love where we are going. We hate what we are leaving. Jeremiah, Mercy, and William were born after we moved there. Grace was just a few months old when we moved there in 1989. It is where most of my children learned how to ride a bike, shoot a basketball, and catch a football. We celebrated so many holidays there and hosted so many people. We had so much fun. We laughed together and we suffered together in that home. It is where Debbie’s mother took her final breath. It is where Debbie left us to go be with the Lord. Debbie often would say to me as we were driving up in the drive way, “I love our home.” We all feel the same way.

I never felt this way about a house before. I moved many times when I was growing up and I never felt the way I feel about this house. It is not just a house. It was our home.

What makes a house a home? A home is a place where you feel loved when you drive in the drive way and walk in the front door. It is a place where you know that even when you have only been gone a short time, you have been missed. It is a place where you see and spend time with the people you love most. It is a place where you know that you will be loved even when you have failed. It is a place that you can retreat from the world and find peace. It is the place that you want to return to no matter where you live or how long you have been gone.

It is for this reason that I can safely predict that in the years ahead my children will all make there way back to 6301 S.W. 123rd. They will pull up in front of the house and comment on what things have changed and what things have stayed the same. They will picture in their mind good times from the past. But most of all they will remember that that this was the place that they called home.

I hope that you have such a place to call home. If you don’t, I am sorry that you have not had this experience because of certain conditions in your family. You could feel cheated. I would encourage you not to feel that way. I assure you that if you are in Christ, whatever you have missed in this life will be much better in the next.

Heaven is the perfect home. Everything that we experienced at 6301 S.W. 123rd will be magnified. The best part about it is that we will never have to leave. We will never have to know again the pain of separation. Our permanent home will be so much better than what we have known.

It is O.K. to look back. We all do it. When we do we can smile and shed a tear all at the same time.

But to move forward, you have to look forward and believe the promises of God. Our heavenly home is such a great promise. Until that day!

Jerry Wells

August 12, 2008-Our Thirty-First Wedding Anniversary

2008-08-12T16:56:00.001-05:00

August 12, 2008-The Thirty-First anniversary of our wedding

My Dearest Debbie:

I was told that to recover from the loss of someone you love you must say one thousand good byes.

I started the process of saying good bye before you ever left us. I met with out children about two weeks before you left us and encouraged each one of them to personally tell you four things.

"Tell your Mom that you love her. Tell your Mom why you love her. Tell your Mom anything you regret and ask her to forgive you. Tell your Mom good bye, for now. Tell her that you know you will see her again, even if she has to leave us now."

I knew that saying good bye would be the hardest thing for them to say. It really has not gotten any easier up to this point in my journey.

As far as I know, each one our children had a last private conversation with you in our bed room. You greeted them with your ever so, “You’re the most important person in the world look.” They shared their heart. You hung on every word like you were listening to the most important message you had ever heard. You thanked them like they had just given you the most valuable gift you had ever received. You shared your hope and dreams for them. You told them how proud you were of them. You hugged them and told them you loved them.

No, I was not there and I have not discussed the details with all the children. But I just know you, better than anyone who ever knew you.

Today would have been our 31 wedding anniversary. I remember the day like it was yesterday. We were so young. You were so beautiful. I knew I was receiving a great gift from God. But I really had no idea how blessed I would be. Your love for me was beyond measure. I did not know that it was possible be so loved by another. For this reason, our relationship became my greatest passion other than my relationship with Jesus. I woke up each morning looking forward to what the day would bring with you at my side.

Thank you for loving me beyond measure. Thank you for being my most loyal friend. Thank you for always believing in me even after I hurt you or disappointed you. Thank you for giving me children and believing in my children. Their most difficult times are when they are facing giants. They miss hearing you say how proud you are to be their Mom. They miss hearing you say that you know they will do great. They miss hearing you say that they did great even when they know it was not their best performance. You are such a great Mom. You were such a great wife to me. Happy Anniversary!

That is one of the strange things about heaven. You will always be their Mom. But you will not always be my wife. We fulfilled our vows to one another the moment you left. Our marriage ended but your life as the children’s Mom will never end. You will never be replaced. I believe they will call you Mom on the new earth with its new heaven.

It was very difficult for me to accept at first that I would not always call you my wife. I could not comprehend that we would not have the same relationship in heaven. I searched the scriptures on many occasions to see if there was any loop hole. I could not find one. On August 12, 1977, we both said till death separates us. On May 3, 2007, our marriage ended and I had to say good bye to it.

Saying good bye to our marriage was and is such a painful struggle. I remember the day I took off my wedding ring. It was about five months after you left us. I was painting something at our home. I had taken my ring off to paint and had laid it on my dresser. After I finished, I went to the dresser to put my ring back on. I picked it up, looked at it, and knew it was time. I shed many tears as I put it in the drawer with some of my other personal items. It was one of those one thousand painful good byes.

I am amazed that the impression made by my wedding ring on my finger can still be seen nearly a year later. It has faded. The impression that you made on my heart will never fade. I will love you forever.

On this the anniversary of our wedding, I want you to know there is a new impression being formed on my heart. I often wonder if you know such things as they are happening on earth.

For the first eight and one half months after you went to heaven, I didn’t think it would be possible for me to have the kind of love we shared with someone else. During one of my most desperate times before you left, you had said to me with an amazing tone of understanding, “you will remarry.”

This new impression on my heart was made suddenly. It was so unexpected. It was confusing, at first. I felt disloyal to you and to my children.

But as I got to know Saundra Cobbs, it became so apparent to me that God was leading us together.

I was acquainted with Saundra’s husband John. John passed away suddenly on January 25, 2007. I attended John’s funeral on January 31. The funeral was on the day that you completed your sixth and last scheduled treatment. I got you settled that morning at OU Presbyterian Hospital and left for the funeral in Edmond. You assured me you would be fine. You were so looking forward to finishing this marathon.

It was very cold and it snowed that day. I sat in the very top of the auditorium at First Baptist Edmond. It looked as though there were several thousand people in attendance. Many of my friends from my graduating class high school were there because John Cobbs attended Del City High School.

I was greatly moved and challenged by the message of John’s life. He was a Pastor himself. He served in several churches and when he left his family, he was the associate Pastor at First Baptist Edmond. He was a wonderful man, husband, father, son, brother, friend, and Pastor. He touched so many lives. He was quite the evangelist, like you. I did not speak to the family that day. I left quickly to get back to you.

Then you left us on May 3. Eight months later, our dear friend Kathy Law told me that John’s wife Saundra was really suffering. I thought I could help because I could identify with her pain. I thought she might want to talk with someone who understood her loss. I thought I could use a new friend.

I called her. That first phone call led to our first meeting. We met at Charleston’s in Edmond. At that meeting, we told our stories of our love and our loss. We both shed many tears.

I did not fall in love with Saundra that day. I left the restaurant grateful for a new friend and feeling very sorry for Saundra, her four children, and their family.

I did feel very comfortable talking with her. In spite of our different spiritual journeys and the differences in our families, I discovered that we had a lot in common. We were both committed followers of Christ, graduates of Del City High School, attended First Southern Baptist Church as teens, had long successful marriages , were the parents of many older children, loved family, had served in full time ministry in churches, loved sports-especially basketball, loved OU, loved walking, etc., and even loved green tea.

Before we left Charleston’s I asked Saundra if I could call her again to check on how she was doing. In subsequent conversations, I began to see that Saundra is a wonderful Christian woman. I saw that she was a devoted wife and is a devoted mother. I saw that she had very high expectations for her own personal character. I saw she was a servant of servants who lives to make others successful, especially her children. I saw she was full of wisdom and loves to learn-always reading and asking questions, a great listener. I saw she is extremely bright. I saw she has strong beliefs and convictions that she wants to pass on to her children and to others. I saw she is a loyal friend who is very generous but she will not hesitate to speak the truth. I saw she is a hard worker with what appears to be an almost limitless supply of energy. I saw she was someone with whom I could have fun. I saw someone who could be a great friend to our children.

Because of what I saw and admired about Saundra, I discovered a new impression was being made upon my heart, next to the one I have for you.

I proposed marriage to Saundra and to my surprise, she has accepted. I can hear you laugh when I tell you this. When our closest friends began to ask me about remarriage, I told them that I applied to e-harmony and that I was rejected. I was joking of course but I thought it would be impossible for a Pastor with eight children to match up with anyone. But Saundra loves me deeply. She loves our children and I love hers. Our children think she is awesome. This is a miracle to me because they have such an awesome Mom.

Today at 2:00pm I had an appointment to look at a home in Edmond for our families. I believe that was the time of our wedding in Shawnee, Oklahoma, 31 years ago. The house reminded me of the home in which we married, the President’s mansion at Oklahoma Baptist University. You need a mansion when you are the parents of 12 children.

It is so hard to believe our family is experiencing so many dramatic changes. But none of our changes compare to the dramatic change that you experienced on May 3, 2007. You left our home and entered your new mansion. You saw Jesus face to face. You saw your beloved Mom and met mine for the first time. You finished your journey here and starting a new one that is greater than any dreams we shared together. Now, I am starting a new journey of my own.

I know you are well and happy. I envy you. We all miss you. And on this the thirty first anniversary of our wedding, I say good bye one more time, until that day. I am sure there will be others, for me; and for Saundra to John. She understands.

I love you Debbie.

Until that day!

Jerry

Our Rock

2008-07-23T21:03:00.001-05:00

Wells Family Update

Our family has been in transition for some time. Debbie and I had talked about these years. As children grow up, they leave home. They get married. They have children. When six of your eight children are only eight years apart, there can be major transitions every year once they are older than 18.

Sometimes I reflect on the good ole days. The good ole days for me are when our family was so stable and predictable year after year. I knew that when I got home from work, all of my family would be at home when I walked in the door. We would all gather together for dinner and have our evenings together unless there was some kind of special event.

The good ole days started coming to an end when our oldest started driving. When he graduated from high school, life for our family really started changing and it seems that every year now another child gets their drivers license and another one graduates from high school.

When we were living the good ole days, Debbie and I thought that those would be the hardest years of our life. It seems so hard when you have so many little ones to care for 24/7.

My son Josh has told his siblings in high school that those days are the easiest days of their life and they need to enjoy it. If you are the parent of many young children, I would tell you the same thing. Those days are not easy but they were the easiest days of our life and you need to enjoy it. Don’t fool yourself by thinking I can’t wait until my children are old enough to drive or my children are old enough to leave home. With greater freedom always comes greater responsibility for you and for them and great transitions bring great change that is really hard.

Debbie and I never anticipated just how many great transitions we would have to make and how much our lives would change. In my childhood, I started making great transitions when I was only three because my mother died. I attended six different grades schools, lived in seven different homes, and had two different step mothers by the time I was 12. Those kinds of things happen when your mother dies and your dad is an alcoholic.

One of my greatest goals as a parent was to have a stable home for my children. It is one of the reasons that we have lived in the same home for 19 years and I have worked at the same church for 24 years. It is one of the reasons that we educated our children at home. It is one of the reasons we traveled to the same vacation location in Colorado for over 20 years. Divorce was never an option, only death. Then the unexpected happened!

I have grieved for my children because they have had to make changes I never wanted them to have to make, especially when one is only 11. I know what it is like to have to make great changes as a child. I also know what it is like to be eleven, sixteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and twenty-two and not have a mother. Mom’s presence creates greater daily stability. Mom’s absence gives you an uneasy feeling about what things will be like tomorrow.

For this reason and so many more we all miss Mom, everyday. We have adjusted so much. It is not as hard. The waves of grief are not as frequent or as large most of the time. We are laughing again, a lot. Dad is more pleasant, I think. We make plans for the future. We dare to dream again.

But we are better acquainted with just how fragile we are and how fragile are plans are!

I am so grateful that I have rock to stand on that does not move when our life changes or when the unexpected occurs. It has been hard but our foundation is firm. We have felt the powerful winds but our Rock has held secure.

“On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.” Thank you Jesus for being our Rock.

Zach is moving to Macon, Georgia this weekend to help my good friend Bob Hoffman who is the head men’s basketball coach at Mercer University. Zach will be finishing his degree at Macon State University and living with the Hoffman’s. What a gracious family and such dear friends.

Caleb has enlisted in the Army. He is stationed at Fort Sill in Lawton, Oklahoma for his basic training. He left yesterday and will be there for nine weeks before getting his next assignment. Please pray for his safety.

Jacob is still selling cars and getting ready to move into a new place.

Grace is working for a foundation called the Burbage Foundation. This foundation promotes family values thru out the state of Oklahoma.

Josh and Jill are expecting their third child in November.

Jeremiah, Mercy, and William are preparing for another year at Christian Heritage Academy. School begins August 20.

An e-mail from one of Debbie's Friends

2008-05-08T13:37:00.000-05:00

Hello Jerry,
You don't know me... I was a Creative Memories Consultant in Oklahoma City several years ago, and through CM I met Debbie. Debbie and I were not close...we were simply friendly acquaintances over a period of a few years. I would see her at CM meetings and events, or we would exchange an email if we were looking for products for our customers.
In January of 2006, God moved my little family to Virginia. I lost touch with many friends and acquaintances from Oklahoma City, but there are some people whom God brings to my mind regularly. Debbie is one of them. I can't tell you how often I've thought of her since moving to Virginia, nor can I explain how how our brief and not very deeply-developed relationship could have fostered such remembrance.
There is an incident in particular that I remember frequently. Debbie and I both started training for a marathon at about the same time. She would sometimes mention her running at our CM meetings. Shortly before the OKC Memorial Marathon that year (I think it was 2004), I ran into Debbie at Lake Hefner. We were both doing a training run... she was with a friend and I was with a group. When Debbie saw me, she literally reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me close beside her and began chatting with me, never missing a step as she walked briskly along (she and I were both doing the "run / walk" method of training), and treating me as though I were a long lost friend. I was enveloped in her energy and warmth. I was astonished. I was blessed. It was one of those seemingly insignificant moments in life that for whatever reason stays with me and replays over and over in memory.
Due to an ill-timed bout of stomach flu that spring, I did not complete the full marathon but chose to run the half instead. Debbie ran the full and completed it in great form for a first timer. I think her time was under 5:30. A year later, I emailed Debbie to see if she had run the OKC Marathon again. She had... and said she felt even better the second time through it. I had put my marathon training on hold by then, but I knew that one day I would get through those 26.2 miles and that inspiration would come in part from remembering how Debbie Wells made up her mind to run a marathon and did it... just like that!
Yesterday, May 4th, 2008, I ran those 26.2 miles. Today as I sat feeling the satisfaction of having gone the distance, I thought of Debbie. I wanted to let her know that I finally did it. I wondered if she had run the OKC Memorial again this year and decided to google her name on the web. I expected to find marathon race results. I found instead a heart wrenching account of Debbie's last year on earth. I am stunned.
Beyond the jolt of realizing that Debbie is gone, I am also moved by your account of the impact this has had on you. By articulating some of what has gone on within you through losing Debbie, you open windows for others to be able to look inside themselves. I am small compared to many others of faith. I'm often a coward... a skeptic. As I read your honest writing about pain mixed with praise for God, I felt encouraged. Thank you.
I pray that God will continue to reveal His exquisite nature to you even as He has you walk the excruciating path of having lost your best friend here on earth.
Peace,
Kim Ray

Update From Grace On May 3, 2008-Why?

2008-05-03T08:08:00.002-05:00

Why? It seems i ask this question more than any other. Saturday will be one year since my mom left this world to spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. I know she is no longer suffering and she is having an awesome time sitting there at Jesus' feet taking it all in. But why did she have to leave us now?

Coming up on this one year anniversary has been almost as hard as when she died. Every morning i wake up wishing i could just talk to her and tell her what is going on in my life.So much has happened since last year. I graduated, got a job, Josh and Jill Gwyn and Caedmon moved in with us, my three younger siblings are going to Christian Heritage Academy (which was one of mom's dreams) , Josh is about to graduate from law school, Jill is going to have another baby, holidays, birthdays, and so much more that mom is not here to experience with us. Why?Last week all of us kids and dad sat around remembering things about mom, talking about what we miss. If you ever met my mom you would know her gift was words of encouragement. You could be having the crappiest day and just talking to her would make everything seem better. Even when she was so sick in her hospital bed, the cancer eating away her life, every time we walked into that room she had the biggest smile on her face and no matter how much pain she was in she would focus on us and how we were doing. So, why? I remember that day, Thursday May 3rd waking up not knowing what the day would hold. I remember praying and hoping that God would heal her and take away all the pain (that was every one's prayer) and He did. She is not hurting anymore, mom always wanted to conduct a choir and orchestra, i know that's what she is doing now in heaven glorifying God in everything. But still why?Why does my dad have to go on with out the love of his life, the one person who understood him best and loved him through everything. Why does my 11 year old brother have to go on without his mother to help him through. The rest of s kids have to go on without our number one "cheerleader" in our lives. Our kids will never know how awesome their Nana was. Why?Through this entire circumstance the six months she was sick, her death, and now one year later I still don't know why.

It seemed through the whole ordeal there was no God, i had that thought so many times. I would think if there is a God why would He let this happen? Then i would see my mom and her faith and my dad and his faith and i could see the life my mom lived effected so many people and it is only because of Christ i had such and amazing mother who has left a lasting legacy for me and my brothers and sister and her grandchildren and so many others.

So now my question is no longer why, because i will never get that answer till i am face to face with my savior. Now i ask what, Lord what do You want me to do with this awesome testimony of my mom? Lord what do You want me to learn through this whole situation? Everything is going to be ok, i am going to be ok, my family is going to be ok. It is only because of Jesus Christ we can say thank you, thank you for all you have done for me and my family. Lord teach us to grow closer to you and trust you in everything no matter the circumstances. I love you mom, and can't wait to see you again!..

More Firsts

2008-04-08T09:01:00.000-05:00

April 3, 2008-More than eleven months have passed since Debbie left us. I have been anticipating this month and how emotional it would be for us. Pray for us.

More firsts for our family since my last update. February 12, our first anniversary of Debbie’s birthday on earth without her. February 14, our first Valentine’s Day on earth without her. March 14-21, our first family vacation on earth without her. March 23, our first Easter and our first Easter pictures without her. March 24, Will’s first birthday without his Mom. Will is now eleven.

All of these firsts without Debbie are very difficult for all of my family. I am so proud of my children. I know they are hurting at times. I am amazed they handle it so gracefully. They miss their Mom so much but they are adjusting and are learning how to enjoy life without her. I am so grateful that they have come so far in such a short period of time.

It is my tradition to lay my hands on my children and bless them in prayer on their birthday. As I started to pray for Will, I noticed that he removed something from his pocket and held it in his hand. It was the clinging cross that his mother held so much the last few weeks of her life.

As I prayed for him for his birthday, clinging to that cross was his way of remembering his mom on his birthday. Clinging to that cross was his way of trying to feel close to her on his birthday. Clinging to that cross was his way of having hope that one day they will be reunited. Clinging to that cross was his way of expressing his faith that he could be successful without his mom.

One day I asked Will why he seemed to grieve more over the death of his granny in 2004 then he did his mother in 2007. Will said to me emphatically, “I did not understand then where granny went. I know where Mom is!” Thank you Will!

My beloved Mom Joy Burgess has suffered much in the last six weeks. She has always gone beyond the call of duty to care for us. Now she is the recipient. It started with a bout of pneumonia. She then broke a finger on her left hand. She then fell and severely broke her right arm. Our family doctor called it the perfect storm. Nearly two weeks in the hospital and now nearly three weeks recovering at Ginger’s home. The road to recovery is still long but she is determined. God is being merciful to all of us by renewing her strength day by day. Please pray for her.

My sister Sandy had hip surgery. She has suffered for many years with pain in her back. Hopefully this surgery will relief the pain. Please pray for her.

Mercy continues in Physical Therapy to recover from knee surgery. She is working very hard. Things are going well. I am so proud of her.

Josh will graduate from Law School on May 17. What a hero! I am talking about Jill. What would Josh do without a wife like Jill? On Easter Sunday, they announced that grandchild number three was on the way.

Josh has worked full time for the last four years to support his family while completing law school at nights. He has been the executive editor for the OCU Law Review. He ranks very high in his class and even higher in our eyes. I am so proud of him as are all the Wells. Because of his character, he is a brother to be admired and followed. Congratulations Josh!

Mercy's Surgery

2008-02-21T09:03:00.001-06:00

What a courageous little girl. I only saw one little tear just before they took her back to operate on her knee. I am sure that tear was for her mother but I did not ask.

We were back at the same surgery center where we were just a year ago. Grace had the very same injury and surgery. Debbie was there a year ago; the same surgery center; the same waiting area; you get the picture. Debbie had just received a great report on February 8. The cancer was in remission. She was feeling good. We never expected she would only be with us for just ten more weeks.

There is no one like Mom in these circumstances. We all try to fill the gap. Our support system is broader and stronger than most families. Grandmother Joy, Aunt Teresa, Aunt Ginger, brother Zach, sister Grace; sister in law Jill and my two grand babies were all there. We had a visit from Odus, one of our Pastors at church; many calls, text messages, and e-mails from family and friends. Thank you! But there is no one like Mom. She was greatly missed; again; by Mercy; by all of us.

Dr. Low was exceptional as we would expect. He has now done six surgeries on four of my children. He is so meticulous and compassionate; a rare combination. He covers every detail of the procedure. Then he leads us in prayer entrusting his patient and his skills to the chief physician.

Everything went according to plan; torn ACL in right knee replaced by a hamstring harvested from Mercy’s right leg and torn lateral meniscus removed without incident.

Mercy was Mercy; like her mother; thinking and caring about everyone else; full of gratefulness for everything that anyone did for her; smiling; apologizing for being so much trouble; encouraging; always encouraging.

So Debbie was there; again thru one of her children; her legacy lives on. Thank you Mercy!

And Jesus was there; again thru many of His children; His legacy lives on. Thank you Jesus!

Jerry

P.S. Mercy is recovering at home.

Debbie's Birthday, February 12, From Teresa Burgess

2008-02-18T11:29:00.000-06:00

It's funny how it's the little things - the little reminders about a person - that come to mean the most when he/she is gone.

What stands out to me today in thinking of Debbie is her laugh. Genuine, expressive, bright eyes and a grin truly as big as Texas! Then it hit me! I rarely remember Debbie's tears. There were those few occasions, but it's the laughter that characterized her life. People loved that about Debbie because they knew that they could joke and tease and have fun with Debbie and she would just laugh right along with them! Her laugh engaged people and made them feel comfortable in her presence.

I had a major meltdown this morning and felt a little depressed. Then, as memories of Debbie laughing through the years invaded my thinking , it was like I was not just remembering but really experiencing all over again the joy of her laughter. This happened to me after Dad died, this ability to experience again the impact of his life in new ways and at deeper levels!

Then the Lord whispered, "I'm laughing with Debbie today...in person, in fullness, in glory!" Can you imagine what Debbie's laugh sounds like mingled with Jesus' laugh?

Ahh, Debbie! We miss you, but I would never want you to leave the most holy place. Not ever! We shall join you, soon, and it will be as if we were never separated!

Lord, we long for the day of Your return! Lord, thank You for laughing with Debbie today! I can hear the echoes in the ears of my heart! Truly, it's her best birthday ever! Hallelujah!

Love,
Teresa

There Is No God

2008-02-07T10:05:00.000-06:00

“There is no God!” On May 3, 2007, I had this thought for the first time since my conversion to Christianity at age 17.

On January 31, I was reviewing income tax records from 2007. I saw some of Debbie’s creative memories records with her hand writing. The reality of her death and our separation hit me again. This will be the last time that I file jointly claiming her as one of my dependents. I had an emotional melt down and this thought came to my mind, “There is no God!”

In spite of my dramatic conversion; in spite of all the blessings and answers to prayer; in spite of the fact that I have preached the bible for 35 years; in spite of the fact that know all of the evidence for the existence of God; at times, during intense grief, I have this thought, “There is no God!”

The logic goes something like this. If there is a God who loves us, He would not have allowed this to happen. He would not allow my eight children and me to live without the single most important human in our life, especially ten year old William. He would not allow us to experience this kind of pain. He would not allow so many others to experience this kind of pain; He would have answered our prayer; if there is a God who loves us.

I know I am not the only one who has this experience. I have heard from others who are having this experience. I have heard from concerned relatives whose loved one is having this experience.

I know the verse. Ps 14:1 says, “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God!” It appears I have joined another fraternity of people in the bible that is not popular with God.

But wait! Jesus prayed a prayer on the cross that sounds a lot like me. Jesus said, “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?” Jesus was most popular with God. It must be O.K. to have questions when you are suffering.

This also means God understands me. Since Jesus was God in human flesh, this means Jesus understands all of us fools. This means Jesus died for us fools. This means that Jesus can represent us fools in heaven. This means there is a place for us fools in heaven.

Is it enough for you to know that God understands your doubt and that He has a place for you in heaven in spite of your questions? Is it enough for you to know in spite of your doubt, you are still most popular with God if you are joined to the one who is most popular? Is it enough for you to know that God’s love covers your doubt?

This does not answer my questions. There is not an answer accept, “Trust Me!” And I will. And so will you. We will get through this together trusting God in spite of our questions; in spite of our doubt; in spite of our pain; in spite of……

Faith is trusting God in spite of all the in spite ofs. The logic of faith is sound but limited.
We can live with the questions. We cannot live without God. We cannot allow our questions to cause us to forsake Him. He has not forsaken us. It just feels that way for a season. He understands. Trust Him!

Jerry Wells
Psa. 40:1-3

Various Notes: Mercy is scheduled to have surgery on her knee on February 27. She is already tired of waiting but our faithful and trusted doctor wants all of the swelling to be gone before he operates. February 12 would have been Debbie’s 54th birthday. I hear that Birthdays can be hard for people in our fraternity. You can listen on line to my sermons and get my sermon notes at www.westernhillschurch.com

Mercy Marie

2008-01-27T09:30:00.000-06:00

Mercy injured her knee. It happened in a basketball game on Friday night. It appears that her knee has some serious damage. We will know for sure after an MRI early next week.

I was not there. I was attending an elders retreat with the elders of our church. After the injury occurred, Mercy’s first response was I have got to get up and get back into the game. It was only after her coach prompted her to lie still that she died to this desire.

After being carried to the bench, Mercy realized her family was not there. She experienced one of those emotional melt downs that we have all grown accustomed to in the last eight months. Mom was gone for good. She would not be coming to comfort her and encourage her.

Within minutes family did arrive. After the game, Mercy felt well enough to go eat and visit with friends. Later that evening, she went with her sister and brother to some of our dear friends to spend the night. In spite of a broken heart and an injured knee, Mercy still enjoyed life and was an encouragement to others.

The human spirit is amazing. It is amazing what we can endure and then still laugh and have hope. I remember the first basketball game Mercy tried to play after her mother died. The game started. She quickly scored her first two points. She listened for that familiar voice cheering her on. She looked to the chair place where her mother would normally sit. Overcome with emotion she ran from the gym and could not continue.

Now, eight months later, she is trying to continue with a bum knee. She still has the melt down but she recovers and is able to still enjoy life and encourage others in spite of a broken heart and a bum knee. These are all signs that she is healing. She has not forgotten. She never will. But her human spirit is strong. I am proud of her!

Mercy is like her mother. She looks like her; what a beauty! She is a social butterfly. She loves people. She hurts when people hurt. She knows how to encourage people. She loves the truth. She quickly discerns the truth. She will speak the truth even when it is difficult. She can speak the truth in such a way that causes you to say spank me again. What a gift!

This did not happen by accident. Debbie was so serious about her legacy and her example to her children. Mercy has chosen to carry on that legacy. It just so happens that she has so many of the natural attributes of her Mom.

I am proud of Mercy. God’s mercy is new every morning and so is my Mercy. Some people can make you dread the future. Mercy gives me hope for a future of other Mercy’s; thanks to her mother and Debbie’s concern for her legacy.

We should never underestimate the impact the way we live will have upon others; especially your children, when they go thru difficult seasons of their life. You will always be remembered for something. You will always have an impact on the choices your children make and how they endure their own personal trials. They will remember you. What will they remember?

I am so grateful to Debbie for leaving me with such a legacy. I am so sorry she had to leave. She could not be there for Mercy Friday night. But she was there; thru Mercy Marie!

Discouragement

2008-01-21T09:30:00.000-06:00

Debbie used to tell me, “Some people in your family and people that you Pastor do not believe that you have feelings.” I could just roll with the punches without giving any indication that I was suffering; most of the time I was not. If I was suffering, a few minutes on my face would be sufficient to get myself together.

People can be brutal. As James Taylor said, “They will hurt you and desert you; they will take your soul if you let them.”

Death is much worse. There is a good reason it is called the last enemy. There are not adequate words to describe how it devastates your soul. Your soul is never the same.

One of the ways that it has affected my soul is that I get discouraged easier. I was never one to seriously consider throwing in the towel. Pit Bull would describe my determination with regards to something I believed was right. Now I get discouraged easier. Debbie would say at times when she was discouraged, “Lord, just take me home.” Now I understand.

Fortunately I am very open about my feelings of discouragement with those who are closest to me; God first and then the other significant others in my life. I can dump with the best of them.

When you are suffering from discouragement, I hope that you have these kinds of relationships. I hope you have significant others that will let you dump on them.

They need to be good listeners. God certainly is. They need to be willing to listen without preaching to you. They need to be able to say, “I am soooooo…. Sorry.” They need to be able to give you hugs. They need to be compassionate. They need to be able to pray with you and groan with you.

I just described myself, now. This is another way that Death has changed me. I get discouraged easier but I also comfort others better. I guess to have one you have got to have the other. Is it worth it?

I think so. It is certainly worth it to those who know the new me. There letters of response to my updates seem to say so. This gives me hope in the midst of the pain. There is something dynamic that happens in our soul when we are helping others that are suffering. It increases our capacity and our willingness to endure pain. It heals our own soul. If we are not actively helping others, we do not see the purpose. It does not seem to be worth it.

I am a Pastor. I have a pulpit. I have an audience on the internet as well. Most people do not have these avenues. Find one! That’s my advice. Find an avenue to help people who are suffering like you are suffering. Join a grief support group in your church or your community; not for you; for them. Start serving a local hospital. I know people who spend a few hours each week just holding babies who are suffering. Make a list of lonely shut ins and start visiting them. There is always the local nursing home.

It will change you. It will heal you; over time; but not completely. I believe God will always allow us to hurt to some degree over our loss. It makes us a better minister. Join me!

The New Year

2008-01-07T14:18:00.000-06:00

Our Christmas holidays were better than I anticipated. We certainly had our moments. But overall, we enjoyed the holidays. If you have been where we have been, you know that is an absolute miracle. You tend to wonder in your dark times if you will ever feel happy again without also experiencing suffocating sorrow. Three of my older children told me that it was the best Christmas Eve they had ever experienced. And Christmas Day with the Burgess and Richey tribe is always delightful.

Now we face our very first new year without Debbie. One of my best friends and Debbie’s best friends recently said to me, “The older I get, the less I know.” Tragedy like ours makes you feel this way. Certainly this does not mean I know less of God’s moral code or the scripture. I am a lot wiser today than I was at age 17 when Jesus found me. Certainly this does not refer my knowledge of God’s love and how I need to show it to others. That has grown as well.

The less I know refers to the way God chooses to show His love to us. His ways are higher than our ways.

Do you believe that God always does what is best for us? Isn’t that one of the definitions of love? Somehow God always does what is best for His glory and what is best for His children. They are like two rails of a rail road track with regards to God’s plan for our life.

This means every tragedy is best for God’s glory and best for us. This means a husband losing his beloved wife is best for him. This means a ten year old boy losing his mother is best for him. This means “The older I get, the less I know.” Get it?

This also means the older I get the less I know what is best for other people with regards to God’s glory and God’s will. Once again, I can tell anyone it is not best to violate God’s moral code. The consequences will be very painful. But with regards to so many other decisions that people make. “The older I get, the less I know.”

If it is best for children to lose their mother during the prime of her life and I am not their father, who am I to say what is best for those children and their future? Who am I to say what is best for you? “The older I get, the less I know.”

In 2008, come on down off your throne and join me down here with the rest of us former know it alls. Come on down before your next tragedy knocks you down. We are a lot less critical down here and a lot more compassionate and understanding. We are a lot happier. We are also easier to like; like my beloved Debbie Wells. I am sorry that it took her death for me to understand.

Christmas Day 2007

2007-12-25T13:00:00.000-06:00

On this Christmas Day 2007 I am not writing to the general masses. I am writing this to those whose heart is shattered; to those who have lost a love; to those whose love has been rejected or not reciprocated.

Not everyone has this experience. There are those who live and die without ever losing the love of their life. They precede their love in death or they never fall in love. There are those who live and die without ever having their love rejected. They never fall in love without the feeling being mutual. Everyone’s heart is broken by certain losses. But not everyone knows what it means to have their heart shattered by these particular kinds of losses.

Losing the love of your life and falling in love with someone who does not fall in love with you are very similar experiences. There are no words to describe the pain. We use words like broken, shattered, and devastated but these words are only words. They do not capture the feeling.

I have had both of these experiences. I realize now how many people are hurting and suffering from these experiences. People in this world are hurting.

If you are one of these people, please give me a moment of your time. There is something I need to say to you. Be comforted to know that the love that you have felt for someone is the love that Jesus has for you.

We say it so tritely; for God so loved the world. We think that it only describes God’s intent or motive. We do not think of His love as the same kind of passion that we experience for the love of our life.

God created us in His image. We got this passion from Him. He has it toward you.

It is so hard to believe that God loves us that way. It is not accompanied by any kind of sensual desire but the passion is the same.

This first donned on me when I was just a teen. It released in me a torrent of praise and passion for God that has marked my life ever since. I started loving Him when I finally realized He loved me this way.

Go ahead and believe it. The incarnation is sufficient evidence that what I am saying is true. The cross is another witness.

God never loses the love of His life. Death is just a door to a new level of relationship. But He does love many who do not love Him.

Can God grieve? The Holy Spirit can and the Holy Spirit is a member of the Holy trinity. God grieves when the feeling of love is not mutual. He understands your pain if you have lost your love or your love has been rejected. Because He loves you He weeps with you.

This somehow comforts me and gives me peace. I am not alone. The Sovereign ruler of all that we see and all that we cannot see weeps with me. Why? Because He loves me!

Because He loves you, He is weeping with you this Christmas Day 2007 if your heart is shattered by the loss of your love or your love has been spurned. You are not alone.

Jerry Wells

My Birthday

2007-12-22T09:38:00.000-06:00

The calendar has it all wrong. It says today, December 22, is the first day of winter. In this season of our lives, our winter began on May 3, 2007. It has been a long winter!

How long will this winter last? Some say it will last the rest of our life. That is a dismal thought.

I certainly expect to always miss Debbie. There will always be times of intense grief. But having times of grief and living in the winter of sorrow are not the same.

If you are experiencing a long winter of sorrow in your life, at some point it needs to dawn on you that you control when the winter will end.

You may not be ready for this. Your winter may have just begun. You may not be at a place where that you want the winter to end. That’s O.K. We all need a significant amount of time to just nurse our wounds. It is almost seems impossible to have hope for anything good in this life when you have lost someone so significant.

But if you are ready for winter to end, listen to me. There is a way to part the clouds and see the sun.

One of Debbie’s favorite Christmas movies was Scrooge. She liked the Albert Finney version the most. You know the story. A man is consumed with himself; consumed with preserving his wealth; consumed with his own needs and desires. His life is dismal.

He has an experience. He sees what life has been like and what life will be like if he does not change. He has to make a choice: live for him self or live for others.

Mr. Scrooge is so frightened by the experience and by what the future holds that He makes a major change. He decides to play second fiddle.

The moment he makes the change, the music begins. The story ends with Mr. Scrooge sharing all that He has with those in need. His winter is over.

Mr. Scrooge has a great hurt in his past. He allowed that hurt to make him Mr. Scrooge. Each one of us has the same choice. Live for your self or live for others. How long will your winter last?

Jesus taught us all this lesson by the way He lived. An abundant life is not found by holding on to your abundance. The bible calls it emptying your self for others. Will you?

I have been seeing signs of spring lately. It seems to happen every time I go out of my way to let someone else know how important they are to God and to me. I believe this winter is almost over.

By the way, today is my birthday. It’s O.K. My family started the celebration last Sunday at our annual Christmas brunch. I am richer because they are poorer. My children continued the celebration two days ago with another gift I enjoy. Yesterday, I got a call from a special angel and a gift from a new angel in my life. It is only 9:05am in the morning. I had a text message from the same angel waiting for me when I woke up. One dear family in our church has already called and sang to me over the phone. I have received numerous gifts through out the week. I have not counted the birthday cards I have received.

All of these people who are so dear to me are just practicing what I am preaching. It is wonderful to be the recipient. But it is more blessed to give then to receive. It can turn your winter into spring!

I am so ready for no more cloudy days. Join me.

Merry Christmas!

Jerry Wells

Merry Christmas, 2007

2007-12-12T18:22:00.000-06:00

The great preacher Dr. Adrian Rogers said a marriage relationship is the closest we can come on earth to what relationships are like in heaven. My experience with Debbie would cause me to agree! Because of the terrible conditions in my family as child, as a young Christian I had a dream of what a marriage could be like if two people would follow God’s ways. After a rocky start, Debbie and I began to experience the promises of God in our relationship. At some point in the last five years, our relationship became better than what either of us had ever imagined. Our delight in one another surpassed anything that Hollywood could manufacture. We experienced a romance that is only made in heaven.

God’s plans for us can take us to highest peaks and the lowest valleys. In my lowest valley, it would be easy for me to conclude that God must be very cruel. By following God’s plan for marriage, Debbie and I reached the highest peak of human experience. Then suddenly, God’s plan plunged me into the lowest valley. I know people who conclude that it is better not to marry than to have such a passionate love and then lose it. They seem to be saying that they regret they followed God’s ways because of the intense sorrow that is created by losing your love.

What could add to my personal resentment at God is a circumstance that could also be interpreted as an act of cruelty. Since Debbie died, couples are standing in line for me to marry them. I will do more weddings this year and next year than I normally do in five. I also spend six hours with each couple in premarital counseling. I will not marry a couple unless they are willing to do this. Hour after hour I talk with each couple about how to follow God’s ways for marriage. Every lesson is tied closely to my marriage to Debbie. I cannot share these lessons without remembering her and how I was so blessed. I speak to each couple choking on my sorrow thru out our meetings.

Then there are the weddings. In every single one, when the doors open for the bride to enter, I can hardly contain myself. I stand there at the alter, not as a 52 year old Pastor, but as a 22 year old college graduate waiting on my bride, Debbie Mills. I have performed every ceremony with tear filled eyes.

What is God doing? I know I am chosen for this. My first name means one who exalts Jehovah. This is for His praise and His glory. He has given me a platform and the ability to communicate. He then reveals to me what He wants me to say. Please listen to someone who has been with God. He is near to the brokenhearted.

I want you to understand how special you are to the one true God. I know that you may not feel special. Life is difficult! I do not have to explain. It is hard to see just how special you are to God. If it was easy, you would not need faith. The fact that you are so special to Him is a theme that runs from Genesis to Revelation. He has chosen you to be one with Him. He wants you to walk with Him for all of eternity. He has paid the ultimate price to fulfill His plan for your relationship to Him.

Besides the Bible, God sends people into our life who share His image. He wants us to see how special we are to Him by how we are treated by these people. There will not be many of them. It is easy to miss them and the message God is sending us thru them in the midst of so many who are not true friends. Then even our best friends may fail us at times. Don’t allow humanity to keep you from missing the message. God sends special people into our lives to show us how special we are to Him.

Debbie was one of those people for me. In fact she is at the top of my list. I have never been loved like she loved me. Every day when we awoke in the morning, one of her main goals was to let me know that day how special I was. Day after day and year after year she labored to do this. In the midst of all of her other duties she would find ways to communicate to me how special I was.

Then it happened. At some point, this became one of my daily ambitions for her. In the midst of all of my other duties I would search for ways to communicate to her how special she was. This sent our relationship over the top of what either of us expected from marriage. We couldn’t wait to be with one another in those private moments. We were living a romance made in heaven.

She also lived this way for others. First there were her children and grandchildren. She was always looking for ways to let them know how special they are. Then there was our extended family. Then there were our family friends and our church family. She lived her life each day just trying to let other people know how special they were. This is why she loved helping people put together their photo albums. It was not a business for her. She loved to help ladies show their loved ones how special they are. This is why so many people would call Debbie their best friend. What a brilliant way to live.

The last seven and one half months of her life she out did herself or God out did Himself. In spite of battling cancer and enduring such harsh treatments, her star shined even brighter. It was never about her. It was always about letting others know they were special. It was in her eyes, her smile, and her words. To be in her presence her last months was the greatest miracle I have ever witnessed. Person after person was touched by how special she made them feel. We received letter after letter from her admirers that all say a similar message.

This was God’s image in her. What Debbie became was just Jesus shining thru her. She revealed how special we all are to God! She revealed how special you are to God.

You are so special to God. You have the witness of God’s Written Word. You have the witness of the people that He sends into your life who shares His image, who treat you the way Debbie treated me. But above all, you have the witness of God’s son. The birth, life, and death of Jesus are an endless announcement that you are special to God.

Will you hear the message this Christmas season? Will you receive the message this Christmas from someone who has been with God? He is near to the broken hearted.

From the Wells family to all of our family and friends, and to all those who receive this letter from our family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Thanksgiving 2007

2007-11-27T08:31:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving, 2007, our first without Debbie. My daughter-in-law Jill has done more than anyone could expect to help our family have a wonderful holiday. She adorned our house with the traditional thanksgiving dress of pumpkins and thanksgiving colors. She prepared a cherry cobbler for our Tuesday night dinner at church. It was gone almost as quickly as Debbie’s banana cake. She baked what is becoming one of our family’s favorite breads for our family feast. Most important, she brightened our house with her peaceful spirit that she wears every day.

When I awoke early on Thanksgiving morning the first thing that I noticed was the kitchen was quiet. Debbie was such an early riser. Most days, she would get up before me to pray and study God’s Word at her private alter.

It was her custom to rise early on Thanksgiving Day. When I would wake up on Thanksgiving Day, the door to our room would be open. I would hear the sounds of the kitchen-a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the electric mixer-the refrigerator door opening and closing-the hum of the oven. Then there was the music. Debbie would be either singing a Christmas song or a Christmas CD would be playing one of her favorite Christmas tunes.

Then there would be phone calls to one or more of her siblings or her mother who lived in Kermit, Texas. Her voice would ring out “Goooood Morning” or “Happy Thanksgiving,” as soon as someone on the other end of the line answered the phone. On this Thanksgiving morning, when I woke up and was lying in bed, the kitchen was quiet.

I made it through the morning at home secretly reliving various memories and then our family joined the Richey and Burgess families at the Richey’s new home for our Thanksgiving Celebration. Our annual feast was one of the best. Trent shared a wonderful devotional from the scripture on how there is a time for everything but God is with us each step of the way. My brother Jim and Sister Sandy and their families dropped by for a visit. Then we were off to the gym for our annual holiday basketball game. By the time I arrived home that evening with a very sore calf, the day was spent. I shed a bucket full of tears and went to bed.

When I woke up Friday morning, the first thing I heard was sounds coming from the kitchen. There was a faucet turning on and off-the sound of a metal pan-the refrigerator opening and closing-the hum of the oven, and there was music. It was a Christmas CD like the ones Debbie would have chosen.

When I turned the corner, there stood my oldest son Josh (age 29) making our family a holiday breakfast like the ones his mother fixed for him. As I looked at Josh I saw his mother. Within his 6’4” frame I sensed her spirit and her heart. In his eyes, I saw her character and the joy she had for serving us.

I was reminded again that although she is gone, she left behind a legacy of her beauty in all of her children. What she was is within them and this world is a much better place because of Debbie Wells.

Debbie would say, “It is because of Jesus!”

And because of Jesus we can see Debbie again. Until that day!

Jerry Wells

November 12, 2007

2007-11-12T13:35:00.000-06:00

Saturday, November 10, I attended Homecoming at Oklahoma Baptist University. I graduated from OBU in May, 1977, which was also the year that Debbie and I married and moved to Fort Worth to attend seminary. I cannot believe that it has been 30 years!

At homecoming, I played basketball in the annual alumni basketball game for former players. My son Josh also attended OBU and played basketball so we were able to play together in this game for the very first time. This was a great thrill for me. I am very grateful that I am still healthy enough to play and compete at age 52 with my grandchildren looking on.

I saw many old friends that I had not seen in years. They had heard about Debbie and expressed their condolences. I had the opportunity to update my class at our 1977 class luncheon. It was difficult but I made it through it.

Many people asked me how I was doing and how the children were doing. What a difficult question to answer. When I tell them I am doing well, I feel like I am being dishonest because I remember what well was like before Debbie was diagnosed with cancer.

Compared to that well, I do not consider myself to be doing well.

“Well” has a new definition to me and I do not have time to explain this to everyone who asks, “How are you doing?” Well means I am experiencing great sorrow but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Well means I am able to pull myself together after being curled up in a fetal position and I am still able to function and contribute to the well fare of others. Well means there are lots of good times and happy moments with my family and friends.

This is what well means…
2 Cor 4:8-10
8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed --
NKJV

What an honest summation Paul gave of his life. Hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down but not crushed, in despair, forsaken, or destroyed.

Paul experienced great sorrow but said that he was not in despair. To be in despair means to believe there is no way out.

There is a way out. It is called the resurrection. That is why Paul said in verse 14…
2 Cor 4:14
14 knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you.
NKJV

I do not know if on this earth I will always feel the sorrow I feel now or to what degree I will feel this sorrow. It really doesn’t matter to me. But I have come to realize that many people feel this sorrow and that they have no hope that their feelings of sorrow will ever change.

Many reside in nursing homes, mental hospitals, V.A. Hospitals, burn centers, and cancer wards. Others live alone across the street from people like you and me. Others wander as homeless beggars through our streets. Many live as orphaned children in places like Africa where the average life span for men in some countries is about 40. I have been touched by the sorrow they feel. It has left a great impression on my soul. It grieves me that they do not have any hope.

It also grieves me that people who enter eternity without Jesus will experience this sorrow for all of eternity. Jesus will wipe every tear away from my eyes. Sorrow will no longer be one of my closest companions. But for those who are not in Christ their sorrow will never end.

God uses our troubles to make us sensitive to the troubles of others. As Paul said…
2 Cor 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
KJV

Experiencing sorrow changes us. It will either make us more into a selfish narcissist or it will enlarge our heart of compassion for others. My prayer is…
Ps 119:32
32 I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart.
KJV

Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chron 4:9-10
9 And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.
KJV
I never considered that when I prayed the prayer of Jabez and asked God to enlarge my coast that He would first have to enlarge my heart through sorrow. Sometimes God enlarges the boarders of our ministry by first enlarging our heart of compassion through sorrow. He uses our own personal sorrow to stretch our hearts out to others. It is no accident that Jabez’s name means “to grieve and be sorrowful.”

Do I like it? No! Do I have pity parties at times? Yes! Am I thankful yet? No! God and I still have some work to do.

So how am I doing? “Well?” No! Debbie is doing Well. She is doing well because she is well. The tears have been wiped away.

But until that day may our faithful God keep enlarging our hearts and our boarders. When He uses sorrow to enlarge our boarders may He strengthen us with the hope that only comes from His presence and His promise of resurrection. And may the life that we live with sorrow bring hope to others who so desperately need it.

P.S. Please pray for my dear friend Woody Shoemaker and his six children. Gail, his beloved wife and mother to his children, died Saturday morning. She has been suffering from a brain tumor that was diagnosed last February. You can read about their journey on their blog.
http://www.xanga.com/the_shoemaker_update

This Part Of The Journey-Crying Out

2007-10-08T13:06:00.000-05:00

This part of the journey is not one that I would have chosen for myself or my children. A few days ago, one of my adult children was at the house and their eyes were very red and swollen. Since they had just gotten to the house, I asked them if they had just come from the cemetery. Their answer was what I suspected. I asked them if they have these kinds of moments on a regular basis. They said yes and especially when they go to the cemetery.

This is a painful journey for our family. The pain is relative to different circumstances in our lives. I had no idea that people experienced this kind of emotional pain. I was so young when I lost my mother. I am now much more compassionate.

I would describe this emotional pain like those who have an ongoing permanent painful physical disability. Every day you wake up it is there. Some days it is better than others but it is always there.

We would never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that it is going to get better with time. Time does not heal all pain. But because of our compassion for those who are hurting, we want to give them hope. Sometimes a false hope is worse than no hope at all.

The truth is it may never get better. God heals the broken hearted but sometimes that healing is not complete until we get to heaven.

We would also never tell a person with a permanent painful physical disability that they should not be hurting. Or we would never tell them that it is inappropriate for them to hurt at certain times. This would not be very sensitive. A person who has experienced a great loss like ours cannot control when they hurt unless they take pain killers or go to sleep.

At times, I do avoid certain events so that I will not make others feel bad for me and ruin the evening for them. Some times I can anticipate how certain things are going to make me feel and I evaluate if it is really necessary for me to attend. There is nothing more uncomfortable then sitting through something that everyone else is enjoying with a large lump in your throat because you are holding back the tears. It also makes others feel uncomfortable if they know you are hurting. At this time in my life, it is hard to disguise. My tear ducts are so open they flow like an open water faucet when I feel the slightest tinge of grief.

So what do you do if the pain never gets better? Living with pain is not very American. The American Dream is the possibility of a life with every creature comfort you desire and no pain.

The truth is most Americans live with pain. That is why so many people in our country are addicted to something. It’s normal for people with pain to turn to pain killers.

Living with pain is a new experience for me but it appears to be a permanent one. I can now vaguely remember just a little over a year ago going whole days and even weeks without hurting emotionally. It is already hard to remember what that was like. I feel like I have been sheltered for years from what so many people have been experiencing all around me.

Since my Christian ethic does not permit me to turn to pain killers to relieve emotional pain, what can I do?

I cry out my tears alone a lot. This is God’s natural way for us to find pain relief. It is amazing to me how I can have an emotional melt down and cry violently for a few minutes and then feel good enough to do something productive. This happens a lot on Sunday mornings before I preach.

I cry out to God a lot. I have stopped asking Him to take away the pain. I just ask Him to help me be strong enough to glorify Him with the way I live in spite of the pain.

I cry out to other people a lot. I have a small group of friends that are comfortable with me telling them how I feel and why. These friends do not expect me to get over it. Their goal is be a good listener and pray for me. Some of them have gone through a similar experience and talk to me about their feelings. It is comforting to just talk about your feelings in a safe environment. I have come to realize that I have not been a very good listener to the hurting people in my life.

I know this does not sound very appealing. But I have realized that being victorious does not always mean being delivered from your pain. It means having the strength to endure the pain in a way that honors God. I have found crying out to be very helpful to reach this goal.

And there are a lot of happy moments that I do experience in the midst of the pain. Every night my three year old granddaughter Gwynneth finds me to hug me before she goes to bed. Thank you Jesus! And nearly every day my eleven month old grandson Caedmon tries to show me his manhood by climbing over another obstacle in our house. I affectionately call Caedmon caveman. Thank you Jesus! And then there is the look of wonder on Will’s face when he realizes that he has just learned something for school that we have been working so hard to memorize. Thank you Jesus! And then there are the new levels of maturity that I see developing in each one of my children. Thank you Jesus! And I still like good food and an O.U. victory. And I love seeing people in our church get a hold of a vital truth. Thank you Jesus! And there is the hope of heaven and my reunion with my hero, Debbie Wells. Thank you, thank you Jesus.

There is happiness in the midst of the pain. And there is joy unspeakable and full of glory. I just wish Debbie was here to share this life with me. Until that day!
J
Jerry Wells

Homework

2007-09-23T09:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends and Family:

Will and I are experiencing something new. Homework! When Debbie and I were educating our children at home, our children were normally finished with school by the time that I got home in the evening. Now it is not unusual for Will and me to spend several hours together in the evening finishing his daily assignments and doing his homework.

Recently his grandmother asked what he liked most about going to Christian Heritage Academy. Will said it was the homework. I wish that I had the same attitude.

Is it the homework or is it the personal time with Dad? For a ten year old who has just lost his mother I would conclude that it is the personal time with Dad. His need for me is even greater since Debbie’s home going.

Who would have thought that something like homework would help meet Will’s need? Homework is normally something that students despise. Homework is normally something that students want to finish as quickly as possible. Homework is normally something that students dread.

God is always giving us homework. Our homework is those people and circumstances in our lives that we would rather avoid. But with each assignment God is meeting a great need in our life. Will’s homework makes him more dependent upon me. God’s homework makes us more dependent upon God.

May we all have the same attitude that Will has about His homework. May we see each assignment as God’s way to make us more dependent upon Him. And may we always delight in more personal time with our Heavenly Father!

Prayerfully,

Jerry Wells

An Update And A Request

2007-09-18T15:29:00.000-05:00

Thanks again for supporting our family during such a time as this. Each prayer you offer on our behalf is pleasing to the Lord. I know that you are sharing His heart with us when you pray for us.

We are very busy. There are eleven of us living in my home. Josh and Jill and my two grand babies moved in with us in July. They have been such a tremendous help and support to us in so many ways. It is has been a smooth adjustment because of their maturity in the Lord. I am very grateful.

Josh is completing his last year of law school at OCU. He had done very well and we anticipate he will have several opportunities to start his practice when he is finished.

Besides Josh finishing law school, Zach is a junior at Mid American Christian University which is just down the road from us. That is where his fiancée Karla Davis also attends. It appears their wedding will be early next summer.

Jacob is my only child that is not living at the house. He is doing a remarkable job selling cars at Bob Howard Toyota in Edmond, Oklahoma.

Caleb is a full time student at Moore Norman Vocational Center. He is studying auto mechanics. This will be very helpful to the Wells since there are normally seven or more cars in our drive way at home.

Grace is taking 16 hours at OCCC, a local two year college. She is just getting her basics out of the way as she considers her major.

Jeremiah, Mercy, and William are all fully involved at Christian Heritage Academy thanks to the gifts that were given in Debbie’s honor. Jeremiah is playing football for the first time and it has been a great experience. Mercy has several new friends and is preparing to play basketball. I call her the best athlete in our family but she does not know it. William is literally a full time student. We have some catching up to do so Will and I normally spend several hours each evening doing his homework. All of the children are being challenged academically and are embracing the challenge. CHA is definitely exactly what we need at such a time as this. I am very grateful for this opportunity for my children.

I am very busy at church, preaching and teaching twice a week, counseling, and leading our wonderful staff. Our church has embraced our new lives and loved us beyond measure.

How are we doing emotionally? It is still very hard for all of us at times as you would expect. We all have our moments! But we enjoy one another and enjoy life like Debbie wanted us to do. She told me that she wanted our home to be a happy place where people would enjoy themselves. Jill has done a wonderful job creating that kind of atmosphere. There is lots of laughter again in spite of our moments.

I want to make an unusual request before all is lost. We are compiling all of our resources for the book that we plan to write about lessons that we learned from Debbie’s life. If you have any e-mails that you received from Debbie that would be helpful would you please send them to us before they are deleted and lost. If you have any stories in which you learned something from Debbie’s life, would you send us those stories and what you learned from her?

I know that this will not be easy for some of you. I have wept many tears re-reading her e-mails or recounting stories about her. But it is also very healing and it will be a great help to us. Obviously I cannot promise that we will use everything we receive in the book but whatever we receive will be maintained for our future generations.

Please send your e-mails from Debbie or stories about her to jerrywells@westernhillschurch.com or jerrywellsfam@gmail.com. You can send mail to our home at 6301 S.W. 123, Oklahoma City, OK 73173, if you need to send a copy of a letter that she wrote to you or send us some other information.

Friends are wonderful. Thank you for being there for us. Please let us hear from you.

Jerry Wells

Our First Day Of School At CHA

2007-08-22T10:58:00.000-05:00

I have a new e-mail address at home.

It is jerrywellsfam@gmail.com

Dear friends and family:

This morning I took Jeremiah (17), Mercy (15), and William (10) to classes at Christian Heritage Academy for the first time. They were excited and somewhat apprehensive. The reality of our new life together really sank in when we pulled up to the building where nearly 700 other students were unloading from a mass of cars.

While I was there, I thought about how excited Debbie would have been if she was there this morning. I thought about the look of wonder and joy and relief on her face when we told her just a few days before she died that a way was being made for the children to attend CHA. I thought about how this would not be possible without all of you that have helped us and prayed for us.

Thank you for caring for us.

Jerry Wells

Copy Of Video Recording Of Debbie's Funeral Service

2007-08-15T15:19:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends:

If you would like a copy of the video recording of Debbie's funeral service please use the form below to make an order. Due to the life that Debbie lived and the testimonies that were shared, we have heard from many people who attended the service that God changed their lives. We believe that Debbie's life message will continue to be a blessing to those on earth even as she enjoys her eternal life in heaven.

Jerry Wells
Psalms 40:1-3

Western Hills Church Video Productions Ministry

Debbie Wells Memorial Service
DVD Order Form

(please print clearly)

Last:_______________________ First:_________________
Address:__________________________________________
City:______________________ State:_____ Zip:_________
Phone: (____)____-________ Phone: (____)____-________
Email:____________________________________________

DVD Order Information:
Number of copies: _______
Number of copies x $10: $_______
Shipping and handling: $ 2.00
Sub total for purchase: $_______
Total amount enclosed: $______________

Please complete this form and mail with payment to:
Western Hills Church
401 SW 44th Street, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73109

Call 405-634-1454 and ask for Brandon Werner if you have any questions.

Thank You!

2007-05-23T11:06:00.000-05:00

My words are totally insufficient to express our gratitude for the love and support that each one of you have given to us during the last eight months. You have provided for our family a support system of prayer and service that has expressed the love of Christ for all of us. Thank you for standing with us at a time such as this.

The vacuum that our family feels is so vast that it cannot be measured. The grief and sorrow is like a giant wave at times and all we can do is surrender to it. We have learned that the best thing we can do during these times is cry and talk with one another and pray. The release makes us feel better until we experience the next wave.

The waves will get smaller with the passing of time and less frequent. As Debbie has been fully delivered from her suffering, one day we will be completely delivered from ours. Until then, I want to learn to be like her as she dealt with her sorrow the last eight months.

She was for all of our family a true champion of faith in the way she responded to her greatest trial. Watching her be joyful and be happy and loving to others day after day in the midst of her suffering was one of the greatest miracles I have ever witnessed. I can get grumpy just with a cold or a bad nights sleep.

Her personal journal reveals just how much she suffered. But in spite of her pain, she drew upon the Lord to be such a great blessing to us and to others.

God’s grace is sufficient in our every weakness. We just have to have the right goal for our life and be humble enough to receive the grace that He promises.

Debbie’s goal for her life was to honor the Lord and to bring glory to Him with the way she lived and treated others. She loved God when she discovered how much He loved her. His payment for her sin broke her and made her what she became.

Her humility was forged through a life of experiences in which she would come to the end of herself. I saw it happen over and over again at her private alter.

It was all of these experiences of brokenness at her private alter that prepared her for her greatest trial.

It was such a privilege to be married to someone like her and to be loved by her. Today marks the thirty first anniversary of the day that I proposed to her. Not everyone has the privilege of knowing the kind of love that Debbie and I shared as husband and wife. It takes two people who are committed to live out God’s Word in their relationship to have such an experience of love. God’s Word is the truth and those who follow His commands will be greatly blessed in the midst of the greatest of trials.

I am thanking the Lord today for what He has allowed us to experience together. We did not deserve it. We were just two lost sinners when He found us. It has been amazing to both of us why He still loved us.

And one day soon we will celebrate together His love for us. Please join us!

Jerry Wells

Carrying On Mom's Legacy

2007-05-09T08:36:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all who came to Mom's service on Monday, and thank you to the many who have sent messages of condolence to our family. As near as we can tell, around 1,300 people attended the funeral.

Mom was definitely a hero of faith, and we, as a family, have a strong desire that her story continue to be told and her testimony continue to go out even after her death. We are looking at the different avenues available to us in order to accomplish this goal. One thing that is in the works is we will be attempting to make DVD's of Mom's "Mrs. PJ" skits available to the public. At this point we're not sure how many quality recordings we have, but there are a few. Other thoughts have been to write a book telling her testimony, or a devotional book based on her writings and her Mrs. PJ character. Obviously we have not had the opportunity to get into details yet, but I wanted you all to know that we are committed to promoting her testimony and legacy for as long as we possibly can. Mom's life was too powerful and precious to not share it with as many people as we possibly can.

Eventually a website will be set up devoted to Mom's ministry. Until then, I encourage you to continue checking this site regularly for updates.

The family has been coping fairly well over the past few days. As the hubbub surrounding the final days of Mom's life and her burial subsides, we all feel the implications of her loss more deeply. We are trying to adjust to a new type of normalcy that doesn't really seem normal at all.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers. Again, if you have a testimony of how Mom has touched your life, I encourage you to send it by May 11 so we can include it in the book we are creating for our family to honor her legacy. You can email them to jandjwells@cox.net.

Josh

A Change In Hours Of Viewing Today

2007-05-06T08:28:00.000-05:00

Mom's body is resting at Advantage Bransetter Merritt Funeral Home at 7720 S. Penn. The funeral home is located just south of I-240.

Today's viewing hours have been changed from 9:00am to 5:00pm. If you would like to visit with Dad and some of the other family members at the funeral home, they will be there today from 4:00pm-5:00pm.

Viewing hours tomorrow will be from 8:00am-11:00am at the funeral home. There will also be a viewing before the service begins at the church in the foyer south of the auditorium.

Due to the large crowd we are expecting there will not be a viewing at the end of the service. Also due to the expected crowd, there will be two over flow rooms with video and audio feeds if the auditorium becomes too crowded. We considered having the service in a larger place, but we know that Western Hills is home and so dear to Mom's heart. There will be a number of guests books to sign. Please take the time to sign one of them. This will mean alot to us.

Parking will also be an issue. Besides the parking lots at the church, there are many side streets around the church where parking is permitted.

The family would like to personally greet and thank everyone of you for attending Mom's service. This will not be possible at the service because of the large crowd. We will be available at the cemetery after Mom's burial. Mom will be buried immediately after the service at a new cemetery located at S.W. 119 and Interstate 44 just two miles from our home.

If you unable to make it to the cemetery, please accept now our most heart felt gratitude for your love and support.

The Wells Children

Mom's Legacy

2007-05-05T11:58:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I am taking the email messages and testimonies I have received and we are binding them into a book for our family.

If you have a specific testimony about Mom that is on your heart, either a specific event or a specific way that Mom has touched your life, please send it to me at jandjwells@cox.net. So many of you have already done this, but I want to give you all a final opportunity to honor Mom in this way.

I'll be trying to get this done fairly soon, so please try to get your testimonies to me by May 12.

Again, I'm so grateful for all of the emails and messages you have sent. We have received well over 1,000 messages for Mom. I've received over 500 in the past 3 weeks alone. We have read each and every one of them.

Josh

Viewing

2007-05-04T17:23:00.000-05:00

Mom's body is resting at Bransetter Merritt Funeral Home at 7720 S. Penn. The funeral home is located just south of I-240. Viewing hours are 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM on Saturday, May 5, and 9:00 AM to 8:00 PM on Sunday, May 6.

Josh

5:37 PM, May 3, 2007

2007-05-03T17:36:00.000-05:00

Mom's service will be held at 2:00 PM on May 7. It will be held at Western Hills Church on SW 44th and Walker in Oklahoma City.

I lieu of flowers, please give a gift for Mom to William, Jeremiah and Mercy's tuition at Christian Heritage Academy. Instructions for giving are to the right, and if you would like the entire story, read the blog post entitled "A Way to Give Back to Mom."

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Josh

1:33 PM, May 3, 2007

2007-05-03T13:32:00.000-05:00

Mom passed away a little after 1:00 PM today. She went peacefully and with her family surrounding her.

I'll be posting details about her service as I get them.

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Josh and the entire Wells Family

11:53 PM, May 2, 2007

2007-05-02T23:52:00.000-05:00

Tonight, Mom's blood pressure was 80/60. Her pulse rate is still over 130. She wasn't able to speak today, but she was able to blow a kiss to the grandkids and mouth "I love you" to each of us.

She did not seem to be in pain.

Thanks for your continued prayers.

Josh

12:25 PM, May 2, 2007

2007-05-02T12:15:00.000-05:00

Mom really enjoyed William's baptism last night. She eased off on her pain medication so she could be cognizant and alert for it. It was easily the highlight of her day.

It is becoming more and more difficult to manage Mom's pain and keep her comfortable. She is herself less and less. Her pulse rate has been extremely high, over 130, and her blood pressure has been low for several days now.

I was not able to read any emails to her yesterday because of her condition while I was with her, but I encourage you to continue sending them and I will read them to her at the first opportunity.

We have received so many testimonies of what Mom has meant to the lives of those she has touched. Our plan is to bind them all in a book and keep it as a legacy that our family can appreciate for generations.

Throughout this entire situation, we have all been blessed by evidence of the Lord's care for our family. One such incident happened last year. For years and years, one of the desires of Mom's heart was to go to Africa with a ministry called Reaching Souls International. Dad and I had been with them nearly 15 years ago where we helped train indigenous pastors in evangelism and discipleship techniques. We then spent a week preaching the Gospel in the streets and marketplaces of Bujumbura, Burundi.

Mom had never been able to go. A trip is a 3-4 week long commitment, and there were always young children to care for and other responsibilities she could not leave for that amount of time. Finally, in 2006, she was able to go. My sister Grace went with her. They spent a week training pastors and their wives and then preached the Gospel in the public areas of Arusha, Tanzania. They saw over 6,000 people come to know the Lord.

You can hear Mom's testimony about the trip by going here:

http://www.reachingsoulsinternational.org/multimedia.html

She returned from Arusha in August, and in September she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I know the Lord's timing was in it. He gave her a desire of her heart before He put her through this trial. It's just another evidence that He cares about all those who serve Him and desires to give them good things.

Mom has been blessed, as has our family. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Josh

9:56 PM, April 30, 2007

2007-04-30T21:55:00.000-05:00

Today was fairly uneventful. Mom continues to lose some of her alertness. When she is awake she still recognizes people fairly well and can follow conversations. She's dreaming or hallucinating more and more.

William, the youngest of the 8 siblings, is going to be baptized tomorrow evening at 6:00 on the back patio so Mom can see it. I know this will mean a lot to her.

We continue to try and keep her as comfortable as possible. She's still enjoying her cherry limeades. I've been reading your emails and messages to her every day.

Thank you all again for your prayers and support.

Josh

12:34 AM, April 29, 2007

2007-04-29T00:05:00.000-05:00

This is the fourth day in a row that Mom has gotten noticeably weaker. For the most part she is comfortable with little pain and nausea, but her ability to keep alert or communicate has gotten progressively worse as the days have gone by.

She still recognizes us and is able to follow conversations, but her ability to interact is almost non-existent at this point. I’m convinced that her spirit remains the same as it has always been. Occasionally her eyes will open, focus on you, and she almost looks healthy again, but it passes quickly after two or three words and then she has to rest once more.

This is one of the most difficult things about the disease. Mom is tantalizingly close, but her body only allows flashes of her to show through. You would love to have a good talk with her and hear her encouraging words, and you know she feels the same, but her body won’t allow her to engage.

I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:12. “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

We now see Mom through a glass, darkly.

Far from being a discouraging thought, for Christians, this should bring us great joy. Even though we see through a glass, darkly, our walk with Christ is still such a wonderful thing. As I see a living example of knowing a person through a glass, darkly, I look forward excitedly to when I can know fully. If the difference between knowing Mom when she was healthy and knowing her now is anything like knowing Christ fully and knowing Him now, then we truly have something to look forward to.

It is also an example of how I should seek a deeper relationship with Christ. I have such a strong desire to have one good conversation with Mom. I feel like I’ve said all the things I need to say to her, and I’ve heard everything I need to hear from her, but when I’m with her I would give just about anything to talk normally about anything with her. I want that relationship which her weakened state denies me. In the same way, we should long to break through that glass and have a relationship with Christ. It is our weakened state that denies us that full relationship, but we have a hope that as we strive to become more like Christ, our relationship can grow and eventually be full.

The past several days, Mom has mentioned several times people she knows that are lost. She wants to be sure they have the blog address so they can hear her testimony and come to know the Lord. I’m sure none of you are surprised that the eternal lives of others are her greatest concern as she endures this trial.

We are still praying for a miracle. Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Josh

9:16 AM, April 27, 2007

2007-04-27T09:02:00.000-05:00

Mom had a very difficult day yesterday. She was very weak and fading in and out.

With Mom's situation, it is difficult at times to tell what symptoms are being caused by her illness and what are being caused by her medication. It is a delicate balance in trying to manage her pain and give her some quality of life.

As the day wore on, Mom actually appeared to get a little stronger. Dad, Zach, Jacob and I spent 2-3 hours talking with her last night...most of the time we spent laughing, which was good for us and for Mom. She was also provided with a cherry limeade from Sonic, one of her favorite drinks in the world. She made sure that we only got her a kiddie size because, "She didn't want to be addicted."

I told her that with all the things being put into her body, cherry limeade addiction was the least of my concerns. You've never seen anyone enjoy a cherry limeade like Mom did last night. Zach said it looked like a religious experience. After watching the way she enjoyed that drink, I was actually a little worried about cherry limeade addiction.

Mom even sang a little Hank Williams for us, as she told us about her mother and how she used to sing "Hey Good Lookin'" as she washed the dishes back in Kermit, Texas. She managed to add some hand motions as well.

We're hoping today is a better day than yesterday. She really exerted herself getting home on Wednesday, and she had not had nourishment for about 48 hours. She's now getting the nourishment again and has had a full day of rest, so we're praying that makes a difference.

Your emails and messages continue to be a blessing. I read the latest messages to her yesterday afternoon, and they really pick her spirits up. Our thanks to all of you who take the time to write and pray.

Josh

2:14 PM, April 26, 2007

2007-04-26T14:14:00.000-05:00

Mom made it home yesterday afternoon. She was amazed by all the work that had been done to the house. Several people from their church came together and redecorated the living room. They purchased a new sofa and recliner as well as coffee tables, end tables, rugs, lamps, and other items. Everything looked amazing. Mom was absolutely overjoyed and just wanted to sit and stare at her new room.

Caleb, Zach, and one of their friends, spent several days doing landscaping work to the front of the house. They put in new pavers and created a new walkway. They also planted dozens of flowers and several shrubs. It looks unbelievable. Mom was ecstatic. This is something that Mom has wanted done for years, and she was so excited to see her vision become a reality.

As to her health, the last 24 hours have been uneventful, which is a good thing. Her pain has been managed well and she is alert for good periods of time. Her spirit remains unchanged. She is still the same joyful person that she has always been, and spends most of her time encouraging those around her.

Several of the ladies from Western Hills Church have volunteered to sit with Mom every day so there is always somebody nearby to help. This is a great thing for Dad, as he can take time to rest knowing she is in good hands. At night a nurse comes and spends the night with her, making sure she is comfortable and stable.

The church body has responded in an amazing way throughout this entire situation. Mom and Dad's church (Western Hills Church) has stepped in and met every possible need. They have done many special things that have brought joy to Mom and the rest of our family. Our church body (Northwest Baptist Church) has also stepped in to meet many of our needs. Meals have been brought, our home was cleaned, laundry done, and children kept with numerous offers of further help should we need it. It is difficult to think that many people go through situations just like ours and do not have a church family to support them. We would not be able to handle this situation with the peace and faith that we have without the support of our churches and our extended family.

Mom's family has been here throughout the ordeal, helping in any way they can. Dad's family has also been with us constantly, giving themselves in any way they can to meet our family's needs.

Your emails and messages have also been very important. Mom has read each and every one of them. On several days I have given Mom a manila folder filled with 30 pages or more (12 point single spaced) of encouraging words and tributes of gratefulness for her impact. Not only does this lift her spirits, but it will be a great legacy for future generations of Wells.

Anybody who has been involved in church knows with their minds that God loves them. John 3:16 is probably the most memorized verse in the Bible. It is in circumstances like these that He uses human beings to tangibly demonstrate His love. I hope it is a blessing for you to be used as a conduit for Christ's love. It has been a great blessing for our family to receive it.

Josh

10:17 AM, April 25, 2007

2007-04-25T10:17:00.000-05:00

Mom spent last night in the hospital. She was stable and comfortable. The only reason she stayed one more night in the hospital is so that we could work out hospice care for her at the house.

Finding good hospice care is such a difficult decision because of the costs involved and our desire to find somebody who will truly have Mom's comfort and well-being at heart. We praise the Lord for God's provision.

Dear friends of our family stepped in and provided home health care for Mom free of charge. We can't tell you how grateful we are that Mom will be cared for and made comfortable in this way. It is a major answer to prayer. We are amazed at the love the Lord has shown our family through His Body.

Mom will be going home later this afternoon.

I'm going to post the information again for those who would like to give a gift for Mom towards William, Mercy, and Jeremiah's education. If you would like the full story, please read the entry entitled "A Way to Give Back to Mom" posted on April 24, 2007.

If you would like to give a gift, you may give the gift directly to Christian Heritage Academy. Mark the gift towards the “Wells Family Tuition Aid”. CHA is a 501C3 non-profit organization, so all gifts are tax deductible. Their address is 4400 SE 27th Street, Del City, OK 73115.

If you want to make your gift anonymous, please indicate that as well. Otherwise, the school will provide us with a list of names (not amounts) so our family can express their gratitude.

Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers. Your emails and messages of encouragement continue to bless my parents. I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to all of you, but know that we are grateful for every thought and word sent.

Josh

A way to give back to Mom

2007-04-24T15:44:00.000-05:00

As Mom has journeyed through this situation, she has done so with remarkable peace and faith in the Lord. There have been times when she was staggered. Bad reports have a way of knocking the wind out of you. It was especially difficult when we found out that she had two new spots on her liver after we had received the good report on her just a few weeks earlier, but through it all she has maintained her faith in the Lord’s plan. She knows that she is in His hands, and that her family is as well.

Through this entire ordeal, Mom had one burden that weighed heavily upon her heart. Her three youngest children, Jeremiah, Mercy, and William, were still in school, and Mom worried about their education once she could not continue to provide it for them.

As most of you probably know, other than myself, our entire family has been home educated for the entirety of their school days. I was home educated from the 3rd grade on. This past year was very difficult for the children and Mom as they tried to continue their schooling as she received her chemo treatments. Feeling as if the children did not get the kind of time and attention they needed, she began to look for other options.

After looking at viable options, Mom felt at peace about only one of them, and that was to send the children to Christian Heritage Academy. She felt at peace about CHA because of the Godliness of the school’s founder, Ralph Bullard, and the schools current headmaster, Josh Bullard. They teach a Christ centered curriculum and have high academic standards. The staff are all Believers and Mom knew that it would be a safe place for her children to grow and learn.

Over the past several months, Mom did the work necessary and put in the paper work for the children to enroll at CHA. As her health deteriorated over the past several weeks, she became even more convinced that the Lord had led her to prepare for her children’s education in this way.

The only issue was provision. Several weeks ago, Dad informed Mom that the Lord would have to provide a way for the children to go. As their finances currently stand, it would not be possible for them to afford sending 3 children to Christian Heritage.

As Mom was in her early days at the hospital last week, she was in tremendous pain. As those around her would pray for her physical pain to cease, Mom would pray out loud that the Lord would provide for her children and ease that burden on her mind.

As my Grandmother Joy listened to Mother’s cries for her children, the idea came to her that a trust should be set up in Mom’s name with the funds going towards the children’s education at CHA. She wanted confirmation that this idea was from the Lord, so she sought the counsel of Godly men. They confirmed the idea, and the process was set in motion.

The next day, Mom was again in severe pain. As Grandmother sat and prayed for her physical comfort, Mother again asked the Lord to provide for her children and relieve her of that mental burden. Joy said, “What if I told you that the children’s education is going to be provided for?”

Mom immediately broke down in tears of relief and gratitude. Grandmother explained the idea of the trust as Mom thanked the Lord for His provision. She has been at peace ever since that day. She has felt mentally and emotionally prepared for whatever else may come.

Many of you have asked, "What you can do for Mom or the family?" This is one of the greatest gifts you could give my Mother. She wants her three youngest children especially, to see evidence that the Lord will watch over them and meet their every need, even if He is not able to meet those needs through her any longer. It is also a way for her to help provide for her children’s future.

It will cost approximately $80,000 to send all three children to Christian Heritage Academy for the rest of their elementary and high school educations. Jeremiah will be a junior; Mercy a sophomore; and William will be in the 4th grade. This amount would pay for them all to graduate from Christian Heritage. As we attempt to project current costs over the next 8 years or so, it will cost around $5,800 per year for each of them to attend.

If you would like to give a gift, you may give the gift directly to Christian Heritage Academy. Mark the gift towards the “Wells Family Tuition Aid”. CHA is a 501C3 non-profit organization, so all gifts are tax deductible. Their address is 4400 SE 27th Street, Del City, OK 73115.

If you want to make your gift anonymous, please indicate that as well. Otherwise, the school will provide us with a list of names (not amounts) so our family can express their gratitude.

As I said, I know many of you have felt the urge to do something for Mother, and perhaps this opportunity will meet a need for you as well as for Mom and our family.

I again want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Our family is truly blessed.

Josh

3:43 PM, April 24, 2007

2007-04-24T15:43:00.000-05:00

Mom's procedure went as planned. As of now she is planning to check out of the hospital today. She should come home this evening.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Josh

11:03 AM, April 24, 2007

2007-04-24T11:03:00.000-05:00

Mom is scheduled to have the procedure done that will insert the pump directly into her stomach at Noon today.

If all goes well and she is stable, she will be able to go home tonight. Pray that she will be stable, that her blood pressure and heart rate will be right, and that she will be able to head home tonight.

Josh

11:34 AM, April 23, 2007

2007-04-23T10:39:00.000-05:00

Mom and Dad met with their doctor this morning. It appears that there is no hope in man at this point, so we are totally in the "God Zone" as my Uncle Trent said. Obviously we have always been in the "God Zone", but if Mom is to be healed, it will be solely through a miracle of His healing hand.

Mom is in very good spirits and standing on faith. She has not accepted that this is the last word on her life on this earth. The Lord can heal, and has healed others in similar circumstances. As a family, we are reliant upon His will to be done.

We have basically been told that the cancer Mom has is more aggressive than anything they’ve ever seen before. It is growing and spreading faster than any treatment they have can work. They said they were willing to walk with her through more chemo, or support her decision to go home. She will have a tube placed in her stomach on Tuesday to continue to drain the excess fluid and gas off her intestines and stomach. She will be going home soon after that.

As a son, I feel fortunate to be in the position that I find myself currently. Too many children never fully grasp the importance and impact of their parent's lives. As I take each of your emails, copy and paste them into a Word document for easier reading, and print them off for Mom and Dad, I am in awe at the widespread influence of their lives. The emails range from dear friends who they've known for years, to the random person who has only heard them speak in large gatherings or who has been ministered to by somebody else who Mom and Dad ministered to. Each and every email contains a story of gratefulness for Mom and Dad's lives or a heartfelt prayer.

Several nights ago I cried out to the Lord in anger over our family's situation. It is difficult to understand why bad things happen to people like my Mom. I have been especially grieved by the fact that my children may not have her in their lives any longer.

When I took over the job of updating the blog and receiving emails, I did so as a way to relieve the burden on my Dad, but the Lord knew what He was doing. He knew I needed to see how He has impacted so many lives through my parents. As a pastor's child, you know in an abstract way that what your family is doing and what your parents are doing is having an impact for Christ's kingdom. Because the impact of Mom and Dad's ministry tends to be so personal, it is very rare that you get to see and hear tangible evidence of how much their work has meant to those they have touched. It is not so rare to see your parents go through situations where you feel they are mistreated, abandoned or taken for granted. Those circumstances tend to be much more public. As a result, it is a constant battle for a pastor's family to love the Body of Christ and to support their parent's work. Seeing your messages of thanks and heartfelt prayers has not only brought peace to me about the current situation, but it has brought peace and perspective to my life as a pastor's child as well. Every child should have the opportunity to experience what I have experienced over the past weeks and months. The circumstances have been difficult, but I know the Lord is in it.

As I said earlier, it is difficult to understand why the Lord would put Mom and Dad through such a difficult situation. It is hard for my limited mind to grasp the logic in Him allowing people who are doing His work to go through difficult trials or even removing them from their work on earth. I believe God is a logical God, not a random being who acts on a whim. His creation is evidence of His planning and logic. When His actions seem illogical to us, it is only because we do not know all the facts and because God operates on a plane of existence that we cannot fully comprehend in our human state. Some facts we may never know until we get to heaven, others we as humans tend to ignore.

As I look at the current situation, I believe that there is logic in it. As I think on why God may take Mom at such a young age when it seems she has so much work left to accomplish for Him, I am reminded of the fact that this life is merely a vapor, a wisp, a puff of air in the grand scheme of eternity. Knowing that God is a logical God, I find it hard to believe that He would make our short time here on earth the most important part of our existence. Mom's most important tasks are still at hand, and she cannot begin them until He takes her to be with Him.

Selfishly I am still praying that He will leave her here for awhile longer for my benefit, Dad’s benefit, the benefit of my siblings, and that of my wife and children. I know that His timing is perfect.

Josh Wells

8:53 PM, April 22, 2007

2007-04-22T20:52:00.000-05:00

Mom wasn't as well today as she has been the past several. She had some severe nausea this morning. They gave her some medication, but it has made her very tired. She fades in and out of alertness and doesn't really have the strength to hold conversations anymore.

Dad and Mom will talk to their doctor tomorrow morning and make a decision on the next course of action. Their are really two choices: Mom can start another round of chemo with the knowledge that the chances of it being successful are negligible, or she can go home and allow the Lord to either heal her or take her home. Obviously this is a very difficult decision to consider. Pray for wisdom as they try to hear what the Lord would have them do.

Your messages really lift Mom and Dad's spirits. I encourage you to continue to send them. If you have anything you would like to say to Mom, then now is the time. Don't leave anything unsaid that you feel prompted to say.

I would also encourage you to send words of encouragement for Dad. He really needs the support of his friends and the Body of Christ, whom he has given his life ministering to.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. Our family truly appreciates them.

Josh Wells

3:05 AM, April 21, 2007

2007-04-21T03:04:00.000-05:00

Debbie had another good day today. She was very comfortable when we saw her tonight. Those who know her will not be surprised that much of the time we spent with her today, she was encouraging us. She has a worship CD playing in her room that she sings along with when she feels up to it, and she is constantly praying for those who are visiting her and giving them encouragement.

She continues to run a fever and her white blood cell count is high, which indicates there is still an infection in her body. Her pulse rate is higher than it should be. It has not dropped below 100 in several days, even though she is doing nothing but sitting. Pray for these things to correct themselves.

Thank you for all your prayers and messages. She loves reading them and they are a great encouragement. She has mentioned multiple times that it means so much to her that you all are praying for specific circumstances that are taking place. If you have a message for Debbie, I encourage you to send it to jandjwells@cox.net and we will make sure she gets it.

Josh

Debbie's Character

2007-04-20T16:16:00.000-05:00

This note was written by Jill Wells, Debbie's daughter-in-law. She wanted to share it with those who know and love Debbie.

I was remembering today the joy Jerry experienced when Josh was able to give a testimony on his behalf for the congregation of Western Hills Baptist Church recommending that they receive him as their pastor. I wrote the below note to a friend yesterday and I feel the Lord prompting me to share this with you all, that I may be a testimony on Debbie’s behalf. Knowing I may not always have the courage to express my true feelings verbally and openly, I do however long to praise her publicly. May God bless you

Responding to the question how are you? …It is strange because I will think about Debbie’s physical pain and I’m sad. Then as I continue to think about her I can’t help but be joyful. She is such an encouraging, smiling, caring, loving, energetic and joyful person that when I think of a memory or moment we’ve shared I’m comforted again. I can’t wrap my mind around how well she loves me, loves us all really. With her encouragement I have accomplished more than I had in years spiritually, physically, emotionally, as a wife, as a mother…. And it was truly an unconditional free gift. Debbie is this amazing reflection of knowing the Lord. Debbie reminds me of Jeremiah 17:7 'Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will ceases from yielding fruit.' It is obvious that she has deep roots in the Lord. She stays by the river and her thirst is ever quenched by His through His power; green and ever fruitful.My biggest fear is the possibility that I will be walking for many years to come without her example and advice. And I wonder: how will I become like her if she is not around to show me? But I know that she is only a mirror of my Savior and that he will continue to polish me up and use me too. So I am absolutely grateful to have known and to know her now because she is still showing me His joy and allowing Jesus to shine in the darkness.

Jill

3:35 PM, April 20, 2007

2007-04-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for your prayers. I've received dozens of messages from people all over the world to let us know they are praying for Debbie and our family along with great words of encouragement. I want each of you to know that I am printing your messages out and Debbie and Jerry are reading all of them. They have been great encouragement.

Our family has a strong history of prayer and seeing God answer prayer. My grandfather Bob Burgess was a great man of prayer. He walked with the Lord and the Lord listened to his requests and answered. My father Jerry also walks with the Lord, and over my 28 years on this earth I have seen the Lord work in miraculous ways on more occasions than I can count. I know many of you who are reading this were led to deeper levels of commitment to prayer through Jerry's work and encouragement. Many years ago, Jerry began to keep a journal of prayer requests along with information about when and how these prayers were answered. It is truly a testimony of God's power. I say all of this so that each of you know that we are and have been a family of prayer and faith for many decades now, and when we know that you are praying for us, it is meaningful to our family in a very tangible way.

Today has been another good day for Debbie. She probably overexerted herself a little yesterday because she felt so much better, and as a result she had some times of severe pain. Overall she has been fairly comfortable.

Continue to pray that the Lord will remove the infection. Mom's oxygen levels and blood pressure have come back into a good range. Continue to pray for mental and emotional strength.
On Monday the doctors are going to give more chemo options, and treatment would start then. They have told us that the chances of chemo curing her cancer at this point are negligible. They place the odds at 10% that it will have any impact at all, and the odds are quite a bit less that she will be able to make any type of recovery to a normal life.

Some hard decisions are going to be made over the next four days. Pray that Debbie and Jerry will have wisdom, and that the doctors will as well.

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Josh

2:26 AM, April 20, 2007

2007-04-20T02:25:00.000-05:00

Debbie had a much better day today. They have inserted a tube through her nose and into her stomach that is pumping out excess fluid and air. It has done wonders in relieving her pain. It was encouraging to see her up and alert today after the last several days being so difficult for her. Continue to pray that she will be comfortable physically.

The underlying medical issues remain the same. The infection is still present at this point. They’re trying a battery of antibiotics to get this taken care of. Once this is done they’ll start the new chemo treatments.

One other issue that has come up is that Debbie’s oxygen levels in her blood have been dropping over the past day or so. Her inactivity makes it difficult to keep these levels up. Please pray that they will come back up.

Somebody is staying with Debbie 24/7. Even though the pain has been relieved to a degree with the fluid being pumped out, she is still reliant on pain medication to keep her comfortable. She is needing less, but she has to insert the pain medicine through her IV every 30 minutes to keep comfortable. We’re reminding her to push it herself while she is awake, and when she’s sleeping we press it for her.

Debbie, Jerry and our entire family appreciate everybody’s thoughts and prayers. Any replies I get to these emails I print off and give to Debbie and Jerry. Debbie said today that knowing others know what specific events are taking place and knowing they are praying for those specific events really raises her spirits. I encourage anybody to send a message to Debbie and Jerry to my email address (jandjwells@cox.net), and I’ll be sure they receive it. Dad is not really checking his email right now, so if you want to get them a message, my email is the best way to go. It means a lot to them to hear from all of you.

Continue to pray for God’s will. While our will is a miracle healing, we want God’s will even more. Please pray that we can bring our thoughts and feelings into line with what we know in our hearts as believers in Christ. God’s plan is perfect.

Josh

8:39 AM, April 19, 2007

2007-04-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

Debbie spiked a fever last night, letting the medical staff know that she does have an infection in her body. They believe it's in her intestines. Last night they were able to drain off about a liter of fluid and some air from her intestines. This has made her much more comfortable. She was able to have a fairly restful and pain free evening.

Because of the infection, they will not be able to start chemo treatments today. Please pray that the infection would clear. She cannot continue to take her nourishment from an IV indefinitely, and the only hope for her to be able to eat normally at this point is for the chemo treatments to shrink the blockage that is causing her issues.

Josh

April 18, 2007

2007-04-18T19:02:00.000-05:00

Debbie is still in the hospital. Her latest CT scan showed that the two spots on her liver have roughly tripled in size. She is also continuing to experience nausea and pain from a blockage in her intestines. They assume that the cancer is causing the blockage. She cannot keep down any food or liquid at this time without severe pain and nausea. She is being nourished through IV.

At this point the plan is to start an experimental form of chemotherapy as soon as they are sure there is no infection present in Debbie's system. Hopefully this will take place in the next 24 hours or so.

Please pray for rest and pain relief for Debbie. She is being constantly medicated for the pain and nausea, 24/7, and even with that she still experiences periods of severe pain.

Pray for Jerry especially. The situation is difficult in and of itself, but being in the hospital for most of every day weighs on one's spirit. Also pray for the younger children, William, Jeremiah and Mercy. This has probably been the most difficult period of days for the entire family, and it is especially difficult on the kids who are still living at home.

The situation is grave, but our family has faith in the Lord's plan for Debbie and for each of us. Please pray that His plan would be revealed to Jerry and each of us as many decisions are being made that do not have clear right or wrong answers.

Thanks,
Josh Wells

April 17, 2007 Update

2007-04-17T16:38:00.000-05:00

April 17, 2007

Debbie’s condition remains the same. (Nausea, Extreme pain in right side of abdomen.) The doctors are still not sure of the source.

There are no new developments other than her white blood cell count has elevated. She has had a series of blood tests to check for an infection.

She cannot begin chemotherapy until it is determined that she does not have an infection.

Please continue to pray with us for God to be merciful to us. I am reminded of what Paul said about Epaphroditus.
Phil 2:27
27 For indeed he was sick nigh unto death: but God had mercy on him; and not on him only, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.
KJV
May God be merciful to us in the same way he was for Epaphroditus and those that loved him.

April 16, 2007 Update

2007-04-16T17:24:00.000-05:00

I admitted Debbie to the hospital on Sunday morning. She was dehydrated from not being able to hold any thing down and she has had this awful pain in her side.
She is scheduled to begin another round of chemo therapy today.

The doctors are running tests in their attempts to discover what is causing the pain in her side and the nausea. Please pray for the pain and nausea to disappear.

Our circumstances do not look good at this point. I will not go into any detail. It is difficult to hope for what you desire from God when every circumstance seems to be leading to a different result.

Moses saw the red sea and pharaoh’s army. Israel saw the giants in the land of Canaan. Gideon saw the size and strength of his enemies. David often speaks about being surrounded by his enemies and the enemies of Israel. Paul faced unbelievable odds that could have kept him from fulfilling his mission.

We have found that you can either just accept whatever your circumstances say is going to happen or you can put your hope in God knowing He has the power and authority to change your circumstances. Debbie has chosen to put her hope in God and ask Him to change her circumstances. So every day many times a day she comes before his throne, praising Him for who He is and offering Him her requests.

And instead of just waiting on the results that would be reasonable to accept, she waits on God to perform a miracle. She has seen many miracles during her life time. And she would tell you that the greatest miracle has been how Jesus Christ saved her from sin and changed her heart, her attitudes, her words, her motives, and her actions. She would tell you about our nearly 30 years of marriage and her love for being a mother of eight children. She would tell you about her purpose for life and the abundant life that she has known because Jesus changed her. What a miracle!

And now she waits for another one. Please pray with us for this miracle!

One Hundred And Eightyfive Days After Surgery

2007-04-14T09:15:00.000-05:00

Dear Family and Friends:

I apologize for not sending you and update sooner. Our computer at home is not working and I have not been in the church office since Tuesday.

Debbie has been feeling very ill. She has been experiencing sharp pains in her abdomen. On Wednesday morning about 2:00am she became very nauseated and could not hold anything down. This is Saturday and her condition has not changed. We have been to the doctor on several occasions and at this point they are not sure what is causing the problem.

Deb became dehydrated so yesterday she received IV Fluids. An Ultrasound was also done on her kidneys and other internal organs but they were inconclusive as of the first reading. The lab work on her blood was fine. There does not appear to be any infection. Her red blood count is good and so in her hemoglobin. It does not appear that she has a urinary tract infection from the urology report.

You may remember that the CAT Scan on March 20 showed two new lesions. One was on her liver. The other was in her abdomen cavity. A blood test also showed her CA 125 count had elevated. This gave our doctor two witnesses to believe that the new lesions are malignant. A third would be how Debbie has been feeling.

The plan is for Debbie to begin a new round of chemotherapy treatments on this Monday at 2:00pm. Whether or not she will be able to begin will be determined by her physical condition.

Our plan is to care for her at home today. If there is not any change, we will talk to the doctor about having her admitted to the hospital tomorrow so she can be rehydrated and other tests can be run.

Please pray for healing for Debbie’s digestive system and for the nausea to be gone. Please pray for the source of her pain in her abdomen to be healed. Please pray for God to give us strength and faith to trust in Him.

Jerry

One Hundred And Seventyfive Days After Surgery

2007-04-04T09:44:00.000-05:00

We met with out doctor yesterday. Debbie has been running a fever since last Friday and he wanted to run some tests and do some lab work. We should get some results back today.

He also shared with us that He had reviewed the CAT scan from March 20 and definitely felt that there were two new lesions that are worrisome for metastases. The previous lesions were stable or could not be seen on the CAT scan. He recommended that Debbie be placed in another clinical trial and receive more chemotherapy. This trial would not use the same drugs. Debbie has evidently grown resistant to the drugs that were used and so has the cancer. He would like to start this new trial within the next two weeks.

Please pray that we will know the Lord’s will with regards to his recommendation. Please continue to stand with us for Debbie to be healed. Please pray for the source of the fever to be discovered and removed.

I am so fortunate to be Debbie’s husband. And our children are so blessed to be Debbie’s children. And I know that those of you that know Debbie feel that you are so blessed to have her as a friend. Her faith and spirit are a constant source of faith and encouragement to our family even though she is the one who is suffering physically from this illness. God continues to keep her singing. Her trust in Him as His daughter is so real. And we are so grateful for each day that we have with her.

Jerry

One Hundred And Sixtyseven days After Surgery

2007-03-27T14:55:00.000-06:00

We met with our doctor today. There were two new developments on the latest CAT Scan that in the medical world they call “worrisome for metastases disease.” The CAT Scan showed a new development in Debbie’s liver and in her abdomen. These two lesions are small but new. The plan is to have another CAT Scan and blood test done in six weeks to see if there has been any change before our doctor makes any more recommendations for further treatment.

It is hard not to be swept away by sudden terrors no matter how many times you have faced your fears. But fear becomes our friend when we allow it to draw us closer to God. Please pray with us for these new lesions to disappear. But also pray that our whole family will draw closer to God. In His presence is fullness of joy.

Jerry

One Hundred Sixty Days After Surgery

2007-03-20T12:52:00.000-06:00

Debbie’s CT scan went well. We will meet with the doctor a week from today to discuss the results.

Debbie’s hemoglobin count is low. Please pray for this count to rise to its normal level.

Her CA 125 count is 13. This is the count that shows active cancer cells in ovarian cancer patients. Our doctor wants it to remain below 20. Please pray for Debbie’s immune system to continue to wage war and destroy any cancer cells.

Debbie’s diet is primarily vegetarian with very little processed foods or meat. She is using some supplements and herbs. She walked three miles yesterday. She is very active again and we are very grateful for what the Lord has given us.

Perhaps you have noticed that I have titled each blog with the number of days since Debbie had surgery. This experience has caused me to have a greater appreciation for each day that the Lord gives me with Debbie. I am numbering each one of them in God’s honor and as a sign of my gratefulness for His mercy.

Jerry

One Hundred And Fortynine Days After Surgery

2007-03-09T10:01:00.000-06:00

Debbie’s next CAT scan is March 20. We will meet with the doctor on March 27 to evaluate the CAT scan. She has finished all of the treatments that were scheduled. We are very grateful that this phase is over.

Debbie’s blood counts are low from the chemotherapy. (Red Platelets and Hemoglobin). This makes her very tired and causes her to have shortness of breath. Normally the doctor will recommend a blood transfusion if the levels do not increase within seven days or if the count gets to low.

Please pray for God to strengthen her and cause these counts to increase. Please pray for God to protect all of her vital organs. Please continue to pray for God to destroy every cancer cell.

Thank you for your prayers. I read today a note from Jim Logan that said that God has chosen to serve us through our prayers. It is very humbling to know that the creator of all things listens and responds to our requests. We have seen His mighty hand responding to our requests from the day we discovered that Debbie was ill. At this point, He has not given us everything that we have requested based on what we can see. But He has given us everything we need and certainly more than we deserve. Thank you for standing with us in prayer.

Jerry

One Hundred And Thirty-nine Days After Surgery

2007-02-27T10:37:00.000-06:00

At 11:15am today Debbie is scheduled to have a stint removed from her bladder and kidney.

Please pray with us for the perfect procedure with no complications. Please pray that her urinary system would be healed and restored.

Tomorrow Debbie is scheduled to have her 8th and final chemo treatment in this clinical trial.

Please pray with us for the perfect treatment with little or no side affects. Please pray for the medicine to find its target and destroy it.

Thank you for being there for us.

Jerry

One Hundred and Thirty-one Days After Surgery

2007-02-19T15:34:00.000-06:00

Debbie’s seventh chemo treatment last Wednesday was very challenging. All went well until the last 30 minutes. When they started the last drug she became very ill after 15 minutes. They began treating her with some nausea medicine and some Benadryl. When I arrived to pick her up she was beat red and her words were slurred. We laughed about this later when I told her she was loopy.

This is not considered an abnormal reaction to such powerful drugs. But it was abnormal for Debbie. It was more frightening for me then it was for her. She began to feel better that evening and was fine by the next morning. Besides this reaction, the other side affects have been normal; just tremendous fatigue!

We feel very blessed by your prayers. We know that the side affects can be much more severe then what Debbie has experienced. We attribute this to your prayers and the mercy of the Lord. The nurses have called her one of their poster children for chemo patients.

Her eighth treatment in this clinical trial is scheduled for February 28. She is scheduled to have a stint removed from her kidney and bladder on February 27.

Please pray for God to bless Debbie with no complications from the removal of the stint.

Please pray for God to bless the next treatment so that it will kill any remaining cancer cells.

The theme of Debbie’s life is run the race with endurance that God has set before you. When Debbie has run in a Marathon, her endurance has amazed me.

This is a different type of marathon but she is demonstrating the same endurance. Her aim is to glory the Lord through the process by trusting Him unconditionally. She wants to hear those words, “Well done good and faithful servant!”

Your prayers are lifting her up to achieve her goal. Thank you for standing with her and our family at such a time as this.

Debbie's Progress As Of February 8, 2007

2007-02-08T17:49:00.000-06:00

Today we received a report that there were no tumors visible on Debbie's CAT scan! We both left the doctor's office with many tears of gratitude. Debbie's CA 125 count is down to 13. Thank you so much for your prayers!

In our clinical trial, there were six scheduled treatments. Debbie completed these last week. There are also two other treatments that are left up to our discretion. Our doctor recommended that Debbie have these two treatments.

The disease that Debbie has been fighting is a very aggressive cancer. Debbie was also considered stage four. We believe that we should follow the doctor's advice and that Debbie should have the remaining treatments in this trial. Please pray that these next two treatments would find and destroy any cancer cells that are not visible on the CAT Scan.

The surgery on Grace's right knee went very well. We were all blessed when our doctor led us in prayer before the surgery. Dr. Warren Low is a very humble man. We are grateful for his faith and his skill as a surgeon. Please continue to pray for Grace's knee to be completely healed and restored.

Thank you again for standing with us at such a time as this. We are very humbled by your support and by the Lord granting our requests.

One Hundred And Eighteen Days After Surgery

2007-02-06T13:36:00.000-06:00

Debbie is feeling well after her sixth chemotherapy treatment last Wednesday. She is scheduled for a CAT scan this coming Thursday and visit with our Doctor on Thursday about his recommendations for treatment in the future.

Please pray for a good report from the CAT scan. The best report would be there are no visible tumors. Please pray for us to make wise decisions regarding further treatment. Pray for our whole family to know God’s peace.

Please pray for our daughter Grace. Grace is 18 and tomorrow she is having knee surgery on her right knee. She torn the Anterior Cruciate Ligament and the ligament needs to be replaced. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. Our good friend Dr. Warren Low will perform the surgery at the Oklahoma Surgery Center. Her recovery time is projected to be about six months.

Please pray for Grace’s knee to be healed and restored. Please pray for a perfect surgery. Please pray for Grace to be encouraged in the Lord as she deals with this new adversity.

If we have faith in God, adversity is our friend and our ally. If we are guilty of unbelief, adversity is our enemy. Reality is not determined by our circumstances. Reality is determined by our perception of our circumstances. If we have faith in God, we can see our circumstances from His perception and be encouraged. If we do not have faith, we only see our circumstances from our limited perception and we will be discouraged. Each day and each moment of each day we have an opportunity to choose what perception we will have about our circumstances. Jesus stands at the door of our hearts and knocks. His desire is to help us see our circumstances from God’s perception. We must open the door and commune with Jesus to gain God’s perception. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ provides eternal life. But is also provides a view of life from God’s perspective that can lift us up during the most difficult seasons of life. We hope that you know Jesus. He wants to give you His heavenly view!

Eph 2:4-6
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
KJV

Jerry

110 Days After Surgery

2007-01-29T11:14:00.000-06:00

Debbie's red blood count and platelet count was low last week so they delayed treatment until this week. She is scheduled to receive the treatment on Wednesday. Please continue to pray for the treatment to find it's target and to destroy all the cancer cells. Please continue to pray for protection for Debbie's good cells and the rest of her vital organs. Pray for Debbie to know God's peace as she faces another treatment.

In my series of messages called He Keeps Me Singing the title of my message yesterday was He Is Good. Although my text is from the scripture, I have seen this message in Debbie's life. She believes that God is good in spite of her suffering.
1 Chron 16:34
34 O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.
KJV
She is such an inspiration to all of us as we walk with her through these difficult days. God's grace keeps lifting her up with each new challenge.

The most recent challenge was a blood transfusion on Friday due to her low blood counts. Thank you for standing with us at such a time as this.

Fifteen Weeks After Surgery

2007-01-24T08:33:00.000-06:00

Debbie resumed exercising this week. She is walking nearly two miles on the tread mill. We are very grateful to the Lord that she is able to resume something that she so thoroughly enjoys.

Joel Morris went to be with the Lord yesterday. Below is the latest blog from his father. Please continue to pray for the family.

"The Lord chose to take Joel to be with Him in glory around 4:30 PM this afternoon. We are at home and we will try to share more of our last day with Joel some time later. Please know that we so much appreciate all of you who have supported us through this trial. Joel had such an impact on so many people. It was a privilege as his father to spend these days and nights with him as he fought a good fight for life. His life is such a blessing to us, pray for our family as we go through these days...."

Thank you for standing with us and with the Morris family at such a time as this.

One Hundred And Three Days After Surgery

2007-01-22T11:38:00.000-06:00

Debbie’s schedule for treatments has changed. She was supposed to have her sixth and final scheduled treatment this Wednesday, January 24. This treatment has been delayed because her red blood cell count is low. She will have more lab work done next Monday, January 29, and our doctor will make a decision on how to proceed when he gets the results.

One of the most difficult lessons in our Christian walk is to accept that the things that appear to be curses are blessings in disguise. Was the captivity of Joseph a curse or a blessing? Was the betrayal of Daniel a curse or a blessing? Was the imprisonment of the Apostle Paul a curse or a blessing?

These events appeared to be a curse but they were all blessings in disguise. Debbie and I hope that you will see the trials that you experience as blessings rather than a curse. And pray for us and our children to maintain this perspective as we face each new challenge.

Ninety Seven Days After Surgery

2007-01-16T10:01:00.000-06:00

Debbie had her fifth treatment last Wednesday. She is now suffering from a cold. Because her immune system is low we are very concerned. We would appreciate your prayers for her healing.

Her next treatment is scheduled for Wednesday, January 24. After that treatment she will have a CAT scan to determine if there will be more treatments.

Thank you again for your prayers and for standing with us at such a time as this.

Ninety Days After Surgery

2007-01-09T13:19:00.000-06:00

Debbie had a doctor's appointment today. Her 5th chemotherapy treatment is tomorrow. All of her blood work was good. Her CA 125 count is down to 23. She is feeling very good. She says, "almost normal." Thank you for your prayers.

Please pray for Debbie has she endures another treatment. It is hard for a cancer patient to go in for treatment when they either already feel terrible or they feel really feel good. The treatment only makes you feel alot worse if you already feel bad and it is like infecting yourself with the flu or worse if you really feel good. Debbie is my heroe for many reasons. She is the mother of my eight children. I can add to the list her attitude as she faces a debilitating treatment. Pray for her strength to be renewed quickly after the treatment. Pray for protection from destructive side affects for the organs in her body. Pray for the chemo to find the cancer and kill it.

Our little friend Joel Morris is battling for his life. Complicatons have caused him to go into a deep coma. For updates on his condition go to..... http://weloveyoujoel.blogspot.com/

Below are sermon notes from my most recent message to our church. I think you will enjoy the story about Debbie and her $100.00.

He keeps Me Singing!

Isa 50:10
10 Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.
KJV

On December 12, Debbie and I were driving to the hospital. Debbie was going to receive her third chemotherapy treatment. Debbie had been praying for a particular sum of money to use as a Christmas gift for a friend. As we were driving down interstate 35, I heard her gasp. She had just opened a card and enclosed was a gift of $100.00. This was the very amount for which she had prayed. Debbie was able to give this gift a few days later. The following Sunday, one of our faithful members approached Debbie. He said that he and his wife had been praying about giving her a gift. He then handed her $100.00. My birthday was the next week. And Debbie was able to use the money to buy gifts for me. It is always more meaningful to Debbie when she can buy me a gift for me from money that I have not earned. Debbie bought me several gifts for my birthday which was on December 22. After my birthday but before Christmas Debbie was opening a card from a friend in Yukon and inside the card there was a gift for $100.00. I asked Debbie what she intended for that $100.00 and she said that she wanted to do something fun with for all the kids. And that is what we did. A few days later, on December 26, Debbie was opening our mail. One of the cards was from friends that live over seas. When Debbie opened the card, enclosed with the card was a gift for $100.00.

I guess you are wondering what Debbie is going to do with this $100.00. We have taught our children that you cannot out give God. I believe there is a return on every gift we give to the church or to others if our motive is right. Several of our children offered to be the next recipient. Debbie is still praying about what to do with this $100.00.

I love to tell these kinds of stories. We have seen the hand of God upon our lives in so many ways this last year. And we are so grateful for every one of you that has been His hands and feet to us.

When you are walking in the darkness; when you are praying for God to change your circumstances but heaven is silent and you cannot see any light, it can appear that God has forsaken you. Even though God does not always change our circumstances the way we want Him to, He is always faithful to let us know that He is there and that He cares. And so many times He uses the body of Christ to reveal to us that He is there.

Our greatest challenge when we walk in darkness is to trust in the name of the Lord and stay upon our God.
Isa 50:10
10 Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.
KJV

In the last 5 weeks, we have learned these names for our God.
He is Lord
He is Father
He is Savior
He is Redeemer

This morning I want us to focus on…. He Is Comforter!

Isa 51:3
3 For the LORD shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody.
KJV

Comfort means to sigh or breathe strongly. It is what we do when we feel sorry for someone because they are suffering. It means to pity or to console.

God is a comforter! He is a person with a personality. He is not indifferent to our sufferings because He knows the outcome. Our tears are important to Him and they move Him.
Ps 56:8
8 Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?
KJV
I have never felt such pity as I have felt for Debbie. To see her lose her health and her strength has been so painful. The comfort I can give her is so limited. I can be there for her. I can sigh and breathe strongly. I can cry with her. But I know that my consolation is not all that she needs.

She needs to know that her heavenly Father also feels sorry for her. She needs to know that He is not indifferent to both her emotional and physical pain. She needs to know that He can really identify with her.

And He can! Jesus is the Son Of Man who has been touched with the feeling of our infirmities.
Heb 4:14-16
14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.
15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
KJV

We feel the most lonely when we think no one understands how we feel. And we feel especially lonely when we think that those who could change our circumstances do not understand how we feel.

He always understands because He has been there.

Isa 53:1-4
53:1 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?
2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
KJV
And if we believe He understands our pain because He has been there, we will be comforted.

He is comforter!

But this truth is not the only way that He comforts us. He comforts us by giving us promises that no one else can give us.
Isa 51:3
3 For the LORD shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving, and the voice of melody.
KJV

A promise gives us Hope. And where there is Hope There Is Life! And our greatest promise is the resurrection of the dead.

God’s promise for Zion in Isaiah 51:3 will not be fulfilled until the final restoration of all things.
Rev 21:1-5
21:1 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
KJV

When the dead are raised and the last judgment is past, this is His promise; no tears, no more death; no sorrow; nor crying; no more pain; for the former things are passed away.

When those we love are walking in darkness, we would like to comfort them by giving them assurance that there will be light and that there current circumstances will change.
We must be very careful that we do not promise anything that God does not promise. We must avoid kindling our own fire in our efforts to comfort others.
Isa 50:11
11 Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow.
KJV
We may pray that God will change their circumstances.

But we should only offer those promises that He offers. Men’s promises can leave you disillusioned and damaged as they leave you behind in heap of false guilt. God’s promises are always true. And that is why…

He is Comforter!

But there is another way that He comforts us. He comforts us by giving us His Spirit.
John 14:16-18
16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
KJV

There are places in the darkness where only God can walk with us. One of those places is the darkness of death. Our loved ones can walk with us through many trials. And there presence is very comforting. But only God can walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death.
Ps 23:4
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
KJV

And He gives us His Spirit so that we never have to be alone.

He is comforter!

Isa 50:10
10 Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.

I would do you a disservice if I did not tell you that what lies before you. There is a trial in which you will have to walk in darkness. You will pray for God to change your circumstances but heaven will be silent and you will not see any light. It will appear that God has forsaken you.
Ps 22:1
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?
KJV
You will be faced with a choice. Will you trust in the name of the Lord?

Let us know God by knowing His name! Let us trust in His name! Let us stay upon Him because…
He is Lord
He is Father
He is Savior
He is Redeemer
He is Comforter

How do you need to know Him this morning? He stands at the door of our heart and knocks.
Rev 3:20-22
20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
There is great reward if we will trust Him in the darkness.
21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
Let us hear what the Spirit is saying to the church.
22 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
KJV

Twelve Weeks After Surgery

2007-01-03T15:58:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! We are very grateful for the three months the Lord has given us with Debbie since the surgery. We consider every day to be such a gift.

Debbie had her fourth treatment last Wednesday. By Friday she was very tired. Today she is feeling very good and should attend church this evening.

Please pray specifically for her bladder function. Physically, this has been Debbie's greatest source of discouragement in the last few weeks. Please pray for healing, relief from pain, and that it would function normally.

The doctors are not sure if the problem is created by her surgery, the treatment, or the disease. There will not be another CAT Scan until after the sixth treatment.

Please continue to pray for Joel Morris who is three years old and suffering from bone cancer. He begins a new round of chemotherapy treatments today. For more specifics on how to pray his blog site is...
http://weloveyoujoel.blogspot.com/

Also continue to pray for our good friend Dr. Jim Hogin. He has been such a help to us during this most difficult time. He has been battling a brain tumor. He is doing well. His blog site is....
http://www.drhoginupdate.blogspot.com/

Thank you for keeping up with us. I will try to send an update at least once a week unless there is other news I feel needs to be published.

I have been preaching a series of messages called He Keeps Me Singing. If you would like the notes to these sermons just e-mail me at jerrywellsfam@sbcglobal.net. This is also where you can send an e-mail to Debbie.

Christmas Day

2006-12-25T11:41:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas! We hope that you and yours are greatly blessed. Our greatest blessing this year has been your prayers for Debbie and for our family. Because of God’s mercy and your prayer, we are enjoying another Christmas celebration with Debbie. We know that it is only because of the mercy and grace of God that we are alive. And because of what has happened to Debbie, we feel a special sense of gratitude for our time together.

Debbie has had a great week preparing for our celebration. She grows weary much sooner then before but with rest she has felt strong enough to return to many of her roles has keeper of our home. She and I both enjoyed the preparations more this year because we rejoiced in each thing she was able to do.

The most recent blood test revealed that her CA 125 count had dropped even more. (It was 30). This is excellent news and is one indicator that the treatments are doing what our doctors wanted them to achieve. The tumors are still present but the cancer cells are not multiplying as rapidly they were just a few weeks ago. Please pray that the tumors will shrink and then disappear.

Please pray that her red cell blood count would increase. This is necessary for Debbie to continue having her treatments. The red blood cells also determine her energy level. The most recent test revealed that her red blood cell count was lower then normal.

This morning as our family read the Nativity passage in Luke 2, I was stirred once again by the faith of Joseph and Mary to cooperate with God. They must have known Him as Lord. They fully surrendered to His will in spite of how it caused them to suffer.

It is a mystery to me why some have this kind of faith and some do not. I have observed this kind of faith in Debbie during her darkest days. In the midst of great pain and suffering both physically and emotionally, I have heard her say, “I trust you Father”.

Why does she trust Him like this? Why did Joseph and Mary trust Him like this?

As we approach January 1, I am approaching my 35th anniversary as a Christian. 35 years ago, I decided to follow Jesus in spite of how it might cause me to suffer. (The blessings of following Jesus have far out weighed any suffering.) Why did I make the choice to follow Jesus in spite of how it might cause me to suffer? Why did Debbie make this same choice 35 years ago before we met?

Through the mercy and grace of God, we saw we were sinners. Because of His mercy, we saw the wickedness of our hearts. We also saw for the first time what Jesus did to save us from our wicked condition. The Holy Spirit then baptized us with the love of God and we gave our lives to follow Jesus no matter what it cost.

When we consider our faith, we can only give God glory. Without His mercy and grace and the revelations we received of ourselves and of Him, we would have never made the choice to follow Him. Now more than ever, we need Him to reveal Himself to us. And He is faithful to do so because of His mercy and grace toward us.
If you are in Christ, He has pledged to you His mercy and grace and the revelation you need for the difficulties that you currently face and will face in the future. Take time to be with Him and to listen to Him. He will be true to His pledge. He will lead you like a shepherd that loves His sheep.

If you are not in Christ, I believe that His mercy and grace is being directed toward you and He wants to reveal Himself to you as He has revealed Himself to us. You may see yourself as seeking truth but the truth is He is seeking you. That is why you have taken a moment to read this blog today. He is seeking you!

If you are not in Christ, but He is seeking you, you need to keep seeking the truth from the bible and from those who follow Jesus no matter what it cost. He will reveal to you the truth about yourself and the truth about His mercy and grace to you. Do not stop the pursuit because He is seeking you. I can assure you that you will find what you are seeking because He is faithful.

Merry Christmas from Debbie and from all the Wells!

Sixtynine Days After Surgery

2006-12-19T14:39:00.000-06:00

Debbie has had much more energy after this Chemotherapy Treatment. She has felt good enough to do some things she wants to do with the exception of last Thursday. She is excited about Christmas and all the preparations. She decided she wanted to host our family on Christmas Day and God is giving her the strength to get things ready. There will be about 27 of us. We have come a long way in the last five weeks since her last stay in the hospital. Thank you for your prayers.

She is also getting some relief with the problem in her urinary tract. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray that every thing would function normally. Pray specifically that her bladder would not have spasms from the stint that was inserted when she was in the hospital.

Sixtythree Days After Surgery

2006-12-13T09:22:00.000-06:00

Today marks nine weeks since Debbie's surgery. One of Debbie's greatest losses has been her ability to be the keeper of her home. On Monday evening Debbie was able to prepare a meal for our family for the first time since October, with William's assistance. This brought her great joy and brought all of us a satisfied appetite. We rejoiced together for this blessing from the Lord and gave Him thanks.

CA-125, cancer antigen-125, is a protein that is found at levels in most ovarian cancer cells that are elevated compared to normal cells. CA-125 is produced on the surface of cells and is released in the blood stream. It is one way to measure the activity of the cancer cells and how a patient is responding to the treatment. Debbie has a blood test for her CA 125 level every two weeks. It has been well over 200 in every test since she was diagnosed last October. Two weeks ago her count was over 200. As of Monday, it was in the mid 50s. 35 is considered normal. Yesterday, when our doctor's assistant gave Debbie the report from Monday's test they exchanged high fives. We praised the Lord together for this good report. We greatly appreciate your prayers.

At 4:00pm yesterday, as I prepared to leave the church to pick up Debbie after her chemotherapy treatment, my car was missing from the church parking lot. There was a pile of glass where my car had been sitting. The car had been stolen. The body of Christ quickly went into action to meet our immediate needs. One of our associate Pastors went to pick Debbie up at the hospital while I waiting on the Police. Another one of our associate Pastors had his family bring me a car that they wanted to loan us.

The policeman arrived and asked me if there was any chance that the car had been repossessed. This made me look at the way I was dressed to see what would give him that impression. He then mentioned the glass and that most collectors would not go to that kind of trouble. I assured him that the car was paid for and he took down all of the information.

At about 6:30am this morning in my devotions, I was reflecting on "He is Redeemer!" As I was singing, "There is a Redeemer," the phone rang. The police had found the car in a ditch on the Southeast side of Oklahoma City. It was not drivable but it was found. It is damaged but He is Redeemer!

Are you lost this Christmas season? Has Satan stolen you from God and as a result, you have been greatly damaged and your life is in a ditch! There is a Redeemer! He will redeem you if you will trust Him.
Ps 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.KJV

Thanks again to all of you that are praying for us!

Sixtyone Days After Surgery

2006-12-11T14:18:00.000-06:00

Debbie had a very good weekend. She grew stronger each day and was able to get out and do some things that she wanted to do. She went to church. She went to several of our children's basketball games. She felt like doing several others things that were a great blessing to her and to us. Thank you for your earnest prayers.

Besides fatigue, her greatest physical battle continues to be her bladder. We believe that the stint that was inserted is causing pain and causing her bladder to have spasms. We would appreciate your prayers that this would be resolved.

Her next chemo treatment is tomorrow. I feel a great deal of empathy for her because she feels so much better right now but within the next 48 hours she will begin to experience the effects of the treatment. Please pray that the effects will be greatly minimized. Pray that God would anoint the chemotherapy to destroy every malignant cell in her body.

I mentioned a family in one of our previous blogs whose son has cancer and he is only three years old. Please continue to pray for Joel Morris. And if you would like to let the family know that you are praying for them, Joel's blog and the family e-mail address can be found at weloveyoujoel.blogspot.com.

Thank you again for standing with us at such a time as this. I will keep you up to date on how Debbie responds to the treatment and how to pray throughout this week.

Jerry

Fiftysix Days After Surgery

2006-12-06T17:24:00.000-06:00

Debbie began to feel much better on Monday. Her strength began to return and she is looking forward to a more active week. Her appetite is much better. She is able to care for herself which she enjoys. Thank you for your prayers.

She does have a bladder infection which is currently the only real pain that she has experienced. Please pray she will be healed of this infection.

Please pray for little Joel Morris. He is only three years old and the son of Terry and Cindy Morris. We received a report today that he has bone cancer that is advanced. The Morris family attended our church for many years and they are such a wonderful family.

Fiftyfour Days After Surgery

2006-12-04T07:22:00.000-06:00

We are learning to live with our new normal. Debbie has a treatment. A few days later she loses almost all of her energy and becomes very weak. During these days, she uses most of her energy just to eat. This is a challenge because she does not have an appetite. It is also very challenging just to prepare herself for the day. She spends most of her time in our room sitting in what has become her recliner. This will last seven to ten days before she begins to feel like doing more things. And then on day fourteen, she has another treatment and the cycle begins again.

She is now one among millions of cancer patients who can identify with this cycle during their treatments. For some the side affects are much more severe. There is a whole list of other side affects that many patients experience during treatment.

Debbie's next treatment is scheduled for a week from tomorrow. She will have lab work done on her blood today and next Monday to see if she can receive the treatment.

We have a wonderfuly support system. Our family, our church family, and our friends have rallied around us and are providing emotional, physical, and financial support. So many other people have expressed to us that they want to help but they do not know what they can do. We have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of love that we have experienced.

There are things that we are able to experience now that we will not experience the same way in eternity. Since there will be no more sickness, we will not experience the same kind of support from you that we are experiencing now. We are experiencing the love of Christ in a way right now that we will cherish for all of eternity. You are helping us understand the love of Christ in a deeper way than we have ever known.

It reminds me of this prayer in this verses by the Apostle Paul.
Eph 3:14-21
14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.KJV

Gaining a deeper understanding the love of Christ prepares us for eternity and for more effective ministry to others. We have never felt so loved by Christ and by you. My only regret is that there are so many who are going through trials like ours and they do not know this love. How do they survive without this deeper knowledge of the love of God?

Pray that God will use us to make God's love known to others as we walk on this path that God has chosen for us. Pray that God will strengthen us to be His instruments and His vessels. Pray that God will give us the grace to keep singing His praises as He heals us and transforms us into what He wants us to become.

Debbie sends you her love!

The Fourtyseventh Day After Surgery

2006-11-28T14:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I awoke to Debbie's voice singing praises to God. This prepared her for a rather traumatic day. She has been losing her hair so she decided to have her head shaved and yesterday was the day.

Only William and I looked on as her head was shaved. There was not one other person in the shop. The lady that shaved her head was so compassionate. There were tears and hugs.

Within a few hours Debbie had new hair. The Lord through our family provided just the right look.

Debbie had more energy yesterday then she has had in weeks. She did not stop until late in the evening and then she rested well. Today, she is having her second treatment.

Many are praying and we are so grateful.

Debbie amazes me. It has never been unusual for me to be awakened by her singing praises to God. Her relationship to the Lord has always inspired me. But what amazes me even more is that she keeps singing in spite of her circumstances.

I am so blessed to be married to such a one. Thank you for your prayers.

The Fourtyfourth Day After Surgery

2006-11-24T08:23:00.000-06:00

Debbie has had three very good days in a row. She felt well enough to attend our son's mock trial on Wednesday. Josh and Jill are in the third year of law school at Oklahoma City University. We are so proud of them and our grand babies. Debbie also felt well enough to attend our thanksgiving celebration at the Mullets. Darla and Mike are my neice and nephew.
Thank you for your prayers. God is renewing Debbie's strength.

Her next treatment is this coming Tuesday. This will be her second treatment.

Please pray once again for the chemo therapy to destroy the all the cancer cells and that her good cells would be protected and strenghtened. Also pray specifically that the chemotherapy and her immune system would destroy the stem cells of the cancer cells.

We hope that you and yours have had a wonderful thanksgiving and holiday filled with the love that only Christ can supply!

The Thirtyninth Day After Surgery

2006-11-19T09:39:00.000-06:00

My precious wife is eating some solid foods and everything is processing.

Her greatest challenge with her digestion is occasional nausea. This is one of the normal side affects of Chemotherapy. Please pray for her stomach to be at peace.

Pray for her strength to be renewed this week as she prepares for her second treatment on Monday, November 27. She also needs to gain some weight.

With many tears Debbie tells me to tell all of you thank you for your love and prayers. She says with determination, "Please tell them Jerry." She is deeply moved with the knowledge that you are standing with her at such a time this.

The Thirtyseventh Day After Surgery

2006-11-17T14:42:00.000-06:00

Debbie came home from the hospital on Tuesday evening. It was a long seven days. The things that we accomplished were the insertion of the stint in her ureter and the first chemotherapy treatment last Saturday evening.

When we left the hospital Debbie was still having a hard time ingesting food and eliminating food. When we left she had not eliminated food on her own in seven days. She was bloated and in a great deal of pain. There was very little sound of digestion in her stomach.

On Thursday evening we started Debbie on a clear liquid died. We also started rotating Debbie from one side to the other and even had her lay on her stomach. Yesterday morning somewhere between 3:00am-4:00am, she started eliminating food without any assistance for the first time in nine days. Debbie and I had a praise service. Thank you for your prayers and we thank God especially for those that He used to give us wise counsel about her needs.

Debbie has not had any pain medication since Wednesday night. She still battles nausia which could be a symptom from the chemotherapy or from the disease. Pray for peace and healing for Debbie's stomach so that she can begin to eat foods with more substance than broth and juice.

God has sent so many people to us just when we needed some direction or a word of encouragement. We cannot thank all of you personally at this time so please accept this as our sincere appreciation for your love for us.

Debbie woke up singing this morning. My heart was filled with joy as I listened to her express her love for the Lord.

Remember you can write Debbie at jerrywellsfam@sbcglobal.net

The Thirtyfourth Day After Surgery

2006-11-14T05:24:00.000-06:00

Debbie received a stint in her right ureter yesterday and the procedure went well. It alleviated some pressure and some pain and is helping her right kidney function better.

The feeding tube was removed and she started on a liquid diet. It is still a challenge to digest and eliminate food. This is her greatest physical need at this time.

The doctor's goal is to keep Debbie healthy enough to allow the Chemotherapy Treatments to reduce the size of the tumors or send them into remission. Chemotherapy works well for most Ovarian Cancer patients. Reoccurence is common at some point but partial or complete remission does give many patients more time and a small percentage are cured. Many Ovarian Cancer patients are never cured but they live for many years managing the disease with further treatment. We have reports from several of these cases who are very satisfied with the quality of their life. If you know of others please send Debbie their stories. Such stories are very encouraging to her.

So, this is the Doctor's goal. We have been told that it normally takes anywhere from one week to six weeks for the treatments to begin to reduce the size of the tumors. We are obviously praying for the one week and would ask you to join us. Her first treatment was Saturday, November 11. We are also praying for her bowels to heal so she can digest and eliminate food. Debbie has been standing on these verses...
Prov 3:5-8
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.KJV

We have found the grace to endure by spending much time praising the Lord. The joy of the Lord is our strength. And our commitment is to praise Him in health and in sickness, in life and in death. May you join us in praise as well as prayer. Debbie's current favorite request is On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand. We will be singing this song today and we hope that you will stand on the Rock with us wherever you are and whatever circumstances you are facing.
Ps 104:33
33 I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.KJV

The Thirtythird Day After Surgery

2006-11-13T08:11:00.000-06:00

Debbie rested well through the night. Today a stint will be place into her ureter which is the tube that connects our bladder to our kidneys. Debbie will have one placed just below her right kidney. There is a restriction that the doctors believe is being caused by a tumor. Her right kidney is under alot of stress as a result. This procedure should relieve that stress and much of the pain that she has been experiencing in her right side.

The Chemotherapy Treatments began Saturday night. I will update this blog each time Debbie has a treatment scheduled so you can pray for God's blessing on the treatment and protection for the good cells in Debbie's body.

The greatest side affect that Debbie felt yesterday was more fatique in the afternoon.

Debbie did eat on her own yesterday for the first time in about five days. She seemed to tolerate the soup well without any nausea.

Please pray specifically for Debbie's kidneys and bowels to function normally. Pray for the health of these vital organs as well as the health of her lungs and liver. Pray for her bones to be strenghthened to resist this disease.

Pray for Debbie and our family to receive the Lord's strength to face each new circumstance. Debbie and I discovered long ago that the joy of the Lord is our strength. We made a commitment long ago to praise the Lord in spite of our circumstances. We discovered that when we choose to praise Him for who He is and what He has done, we are strengthened with His joy. We also see our circumstances from His perspective. And this brings us great peace. Pray for our family to walk in this truth each day no matter what happens.

Ps 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.KJV

The Thirtyfirst Day After Surgery

2006-11-11T14:08:00.000-06:00

Debbie had a great night sleep and a very good day. She has received food through her feeding tube since last night at 10:00pm. She is tolerating the food and has had more energy. She has already taken three five minute walks today.

She begins her chemotherapy treatments this afternoon. Please pray for this first treatment to reach it's mark fast and do it's work to the cancer cells. Most treatments take two or more weeks to see any progress. Pray that Debbie's treatment will work faster than normal.

As cancer advances it creates various complications. Pray that the Lord will protect Debbie's vital organs from these complications until the treatment can reduce and eliminate the tumors.

Pray that Debbie will be able to eat on her own in the very near future. Pray that any obstruction to her bowel would be removed.

The 30th Day After Surgery

2006-11-10T08:09:00.000-06:00

Debbie slept well through the night. We praise the Lord for this rest.

They starting feeding her last night at about 8:00pm. They started with one ounce per hour. She has had no complications from this process and no increase in pain. We praise the Lord for this blessing of food.

This morning ladies from our church are cleaning our house for us. It is very humbling to receive so many gifts from people. The e-mails are such a blessing to Debbie. JHMI brought snacks for this time in the hospital. Prayer, prayer, and more prayers are being offered for us. We praise the Lord for the body of Christ.

The Lord's presence is very real to us. The Lord has sent His Word to us through our devotions and through the devotions of others. Yesterday morning Debbie woke up to find one of the resident doctors on his knees beside her bed praying for her healing. We see the Lord in the doctors and the nurses. The Lord's presence is very real.

Today someone dear to us sent us these words.

"I will not doubt, though all my ships at sea
Come drifting home with broken masts and sails;
I will believe the Hand which never fails,
From seeming evil worketh good for me.
and though I weep because those sails are tattered,
Still will I cry, while my best hopes lie shattered:
'I trust in Thee.'

"I will not doubt, though all my prayers return
Unanswered from the still, white realm above;
I will believe it is an all-wise love
Which has refused these things for which I yearn;
And though at times I cannot keep from grieving,
Yet the pure ardor of my fixed believing
Undimmed shall burn.

"I will not doubt, though sorrows fall like rain,
And troubles swarm like bees about a hive.
I will believe the heights for which I strive
Are only reached by anguish and by pain;
And though I groan and writhe beneath my crosses.
I yet shall see through my severest losses
The greater gain.

"I will not doubt. Well anchored is this faith,
Like some staunch ship, my soul braves every gale;
So strong its courage that it will not quail
To breast the mighty unknown sea of death.
Oh, may I cry, though body parts with spirit,
'I do not doubt, so listening worlds may hear it,
With my last breath."

"In fierce storms," said an old seaman, "we must do one thing; there is only one
way: we must put the ship in a certain position and keep her there."

This, Christian, is what you must do. Sometimes, like Paul, you can see neither sun nor stars, and no small tempest lies on you; and then you can do but one thing; there is only one way.

Reason cannot help you; past experiences give you no light. Even prayer fetches no consolation. Only a single course is left. You must put your soul in one position and keep it there.

You must stay upon the Lord; and come what may-winds, waves, coss-seas, thunder, lightning, frowning rocks, roaring breakers-no matter what, you must lash yourself to the helm, and hold fast your confidence in God's faithfulness, His covenant engagement, His everlasting love in Christ Jesus.
-Richard Fuller

One Other Request Today

2006-11-09T15:54:00.000-06:00

They will first try to feed Debbie through a thin tube through her nose. The other option is intraveneous.

Please pray that her intestines will receive this food without causing her pain. Pray that God will bless the food that she receives and richly nourish her body with it.

This would be the best way to nourish her until she can eat on her own.

Another Report On The 29th Day After Surgery

2006-11-09T14:27:00.000-06:00

We met with our doctor this afternoon. Doctor Mannel expressed that he was surprised by how rapidly the cancer has progressed. He is making this determination based on a CAT Scan that was done yesterday and the images in the lungs and in the abdomen.

He said that any surgery at this point is out of the question based on the overall progression of the cancer in the lungs and in the abdomen. Because of the rapid progression he believes that Chemo is Debbie's only hope of survival.

We have decided to start the Chemotherapy Treatments. Debbie will be fed through a tube in her nose since her bowel is not completely impaired. They will drip food in slowly while she is in the hospital to see if she can tolerate it. If she cannot, they will feed her intraveously. She will be able to drink liquids as long as she can tolerate it.

Dr. Mannel said that it will take a minimum of two weeks to know if the chemo is working.

Chemotherapy is a poison to our bodies. It poisons the body as it kills the cancer cells. It sounds unreasonable to ask God to bless a poison but that is what we would ask you to do as you cry out to Him for Debbie. Please pray that He will annoint the poison to kill the cancer cells. And pray that He will strenghten Debbie's healthy cells to survive the Chemotherapy.

This is one of the verses that Debbie is standing on during this time.
Prov 3:5-8
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.KJV

I want to make sure that Debbie gets all the rest that she needs. I would ask that visits be limited to e-mails at this time. I read them to Debbie daily if you would like to send her a note at jerrywellsfam@sbcglobal.net

The Twentyninth Day After Surgery

2006-11-09T08:59:00.000-06:00

There is not a diagnosis this morning other than the CAT scan shows an abmnormalty in the small intestine. Debbie will have another test done this morning to try to determine if the abnormalty is cancer or something else.

Debbie did eat last night. She had some soup and some crackers and a small portion of a baked potatoe. Within about three hours, she was in great pain. She finally got some relief from the pain and rested through the night.

We received the following message in an e-mail this morning. It's arrival was very timely.

Troubles produce patience. And patience produces character.Romans 5:3-4 Romans 5:3-4 NCV
Storms come for a reason. They also come for a season. Discover the reason and grow wiser. Outlast the season and grow stronger - but never quit!
Chuck Swindoll writes: "Somebody needs to address the other side of Christian life, if for no other reason than to uphold reality. We need to be told that difficulty and pressure are par for the course. No amount of Biblical input, deeper life conferences or super-victory seminars will exempt you from struggle. God promises no bubble of protection.
Ask guys like Job, Joseph, Daniel and Paul, and you'll become acquainted with an ancient word that has almost disappeared in this generation of splashy, always-grinning, a-miracle-a-day Spirituality - perseverance! I know of no better partner to dance with when you're doing the three-steps-forward and two-steps-back number. It's in the tough times that true character is forged, the life of Christ is reproduced in us, and our flimsy theology is exchanged for a set of convictions that enable us to handle things rather than trying to escape them.
It's when the bottom falls out and life tries to pound you into a corner of doubt and unbelief that you need what perseverance produces:
(a) A willingness to accept whatever comes, knowing that by God's grace you'll win and come out stronger.
(b) A determination to stand firm while those around you are falling or running away.
(c) Insight to see the character-developing hand of God in it all. Without that, we stumble and fall and God is grieved. With it, we survive and conquer and God is glorified." Can you think of one quitter, just one, who ever accomplished anything worthwhile?

The Twentyeighth Day After Surgery

2006-11-08T13:09:00.000-06:00

Debbie is back in the hospital at OU Medical Center. She got dehydrated because of the problems with her digestive system. They are running some tests to determine what is causing the severe pain in her abdomen. And during the last week, her nausea has gotten worse.

Thank you for your standing with us in prayer.

The Twentysixth Day After Surgery

2006-11-06T13:56:00.000-06:00

We have an appointment with the Doctor again tomorrow to discuss his protocol for further treatment using conventional medicine. Please pray that God will give us wisdom.

Debbie has had a hard week with her digestive system. She is feeling much better today. Pray for her system to function normally.

Our daugher Mercy celebrated her 15th birthday yesterday. We celebrated with family. Please pray for our children to experience God's peace and hope during this difficult time.

Our new grandson Caedmon is doing great along with Mom. Please pray that Debbie will live to see all of her children's children.

The Lord touched all of our hearts in our worship service yesterday. The alter was full of people in response to the invitation. Pray for our church family as they walk with us through this difficult time.
Eph 3:14-21
14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.KJV

Prayerfully,

Jerry

The Twentieth Day After Surgery

2006-10-31T11:12:00.000-06:00

Debbie gets a little stronger each day. She went to church last Wednesday evening and also on Sunday. (She teaches a discipleship class for young ladies age 12-18). We had friends and family over on Saturday. We went to a friend’s Ordination Service on Sunday evening. She drove the car for the first time last week. We are definitely making progress.

Please continue to pray for her digestive system to work normally. Pray for her back to be strengthened and for the pain to be removed. Continue to pray that she will gain weight and that her appetite will increase. Continue to pray for God’s wisdom as we decide on treatment. We meet with the Doctor again next Tuesday, November 7.

Pray for both Debbie and I to be alert to those that the Lord wants us to minister to through this trial.

We appreciate all of you that are standing with us at such a time as this.

If you would like to e-mail Debbie, you can do so at jerrywellsfam@sbcglobal.net. She is not able to respond to all the e-mails she receives but she reads them all.

Thirteen Days After Surgery

2006-10-24T17:42:00.000-05:00

Today we received Debbie’s pathology report. We met with the Doctor to discuss his plan to treat her. It is now up to us to decide if we will subject ourselves to his plan.
The pathology report confirmed what our Doctor suspected. Debbie has Stage IV Ovarian Cancer. It has metastasized to both lungs and her large and small intestine.

The Doctor recommended treatment with the chemicals Carboplatin and Paclitaxel-which is also known as Taxol. He felt confident that this chemotherapy would cause the cancer to go into remission. But he also said that a cure is unlikely and that a reoccurrence of new tumors is common with this type of cancer and treatment.

He said that in 1990, Debbie would only have a few months to live. He said that this treatment could add years to her life and possibly years upon years as research continue

He also gave us the option of becoming a part of a clinical research. In a blind clinical research, a third drug is added to the treatment of two thirds of the patients. In a third of the patients, the drug is administered during five of the first six treatments. In a third of the patients, the drug is given during 28 treatments. In a third of the patients, the drug is not given at all. Neither the doctors nor the patients know which group they are in until the study is completed after 15 months.

The third drug is a biological agent that inhibits the development of new blood vessels in cancer cells. It is called Bevacizumab. It is marketed under the name Avastin.

The treatments could begin as early as two weeks or we could wait as long as after Thanksgiving.

Our current options for treatment are to have Debbie receive six treatments over a period of 18 weeks; enter the Clinical research trial in which Debbie would receive 28 treatment over a period of 15 months and possibly (a 33% chance) receive this new drug that is producing encouraging results in many patients already being treated at the OU Medical Center; or continue to treat Debbie only with nutritionally supplements and diet under the direction of Dr. Sandra Bailey. (Sandra has also agreed to continue to treat Debbie if we choose chemotherapy treatment).

We need wisdom and direction from the Lord. We would appreciate your prayers.

As we were driving to the Doctor’s office this morning, I asked Debbie to give us something to look forward too today after our appointment. While we were sitting in the Doctor’s office listening to these options, my phone rang at about 10:00am. My son Josh was taking his wife Jill to the hospital because she was in labor. We left the Doctor’s office after our meeting at about 11:00am and drove immediately to the Hospital to check on Jill. I pulled up at the front door and let Debbie off. She said that she would wait on me in the Lobby while I parked the car. I told her I wanted her to go on up to Jill’s room because I did not want her to miss the birth. When Debbie walked into the room, our grandson Caedmon was just being delivered from the his mother’s womb. When I arrived a few minutes later, I could hear him crying on the other side of the door. I joined him as I cried and thanked the Lord there in the hallway.

When I asked Debbie to give us something to look forward too today, the Lord gave both of us a gift that totally overshadowed the reality of what we had just faced at the Doctor’s office. God had something for us far greater than what our finite minds could imagine. The timing of Caedmon’s birth has given us a new assurance that our times are in the Lord’s hands. It has also given us a greater confidence that no matter what we face in the future, the Lord will meet us during our darkest hours in ways that we do not expect.

Caedmon is named after an ancient hymn writer in the church. The Lord certainly used him on this day to bring music to our needy souls.

Twelve Days After Surgery

2006-10-23T15:37:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow we meet with our doctor at 8:30am to go over the pathology report and to hear his recommendations for treatment. The doctor will also give us a prognosis for Debbie's future based on probabilities and statistics. This could be very hard for both of us so we would appreciate your prayers. Pray that we will put our hope in God and trust in Him as we hear the report. Pray that the Lord will bring to our mind all of the questions that we need to ask so that we will be well informed.

Please pray for Debbie to gain weight. She weighed 114 dressed this morning. Her natural weight for years has been 131. Pray for the killer cells in Debbie's immune system to identify and destroy the cancer cells. Cancer cells disquise themselves as healthy cells while they destroy any organ that they invade. Pray for us to make wise decisions regarding further treatment.

Thank you for standing with us.

The Ninth Day After Surgery

2006-10-20T21:19:00.000-05:00

Debbie had a great day today. It makes all of us feel better just to see her feel better. Her digestive system has been working well and she has had a very good appetite. Her stitches were removed this morning and she felt like taking her first outing to Sams. We then had lunch together at a local restaurant and went to Lows. After a brief nap, she was up for the evening and feeling very good. Thank you for your prayers.

The Seventh Day After Surgery

2006-10-18T13:13:00.000-05:00

Debbie is having difficulty with her stomach which makes it difficult for her to eat and get stronger. Please pray for her stomach and digestive system to begin to function well.

Debbie has lost 20 pounds in the last six weeks. She is weak has a result.

Her Spirit is good. She is still at peace and resting in the Lord.

We will not receive a pathology report until we meet with the Doctor next Tuesday.

Thank you for your prayers.

The Fourth Day After Surgery

2006-10-15T18:57:00.000-05:00

Debbie was released from the hospital this morning and is resting at home. She has times that she feels good and other times that she feels very weak. Her system is still adjusting after all the trauma.

We are praying that her appetite will greatly increase and that her digestive system will quickly be able to handle solid foods and vitamins.

The evidence of God's goodness is all around us. We are especially grateful for the support of our family, friends, and our local church family. We are also amazed by the number of Christians that we do not even know who have taken up our cause in prayer. Thank you for spreading the word about Debbie's condition.

Second Day After Surgery

2006-10-13T15:59:00.000-05:00

Debbie has had a good day. She is recovering well with no complications. The tubes have been removed. She is walking and sitting in a chair. She is still just having fluids for her meals. She is very weak but joyful and at peace.

We have not received the pathology report. Our doctor said it may be Monday.

Thank you for your most recent prayers. We keep being lifted up in our darkest hours.

Psalms 40:1-3

The Day After Surgery

2006-10-12T11:36:00.000-05:00

Debbie is recovering well from the surgery. This morning they removed the draining tube from her nose to her stomach. She can drink liquids now. She is very peaceful and very strong in the Lord.

The surgeon did a complete hysterectomy, removed her omentum, and lymph nodes. What cancer remains is what is in her lungs and some spots on her bowel that are all very small. By next Monday, we will receive the results of the lab tests and know specifically the kind of cancer. The doctors will then develop a protocol to fight the disease. Different cancers respond differently to chemotherapy. We will meet with the doctors in two weeks to discuss their protocol.

Debbie is under the supervision of Dr. Sandra Bailey for her nutritional needs. Sandra’s plan includes a very specific diet to fight cancer and organic supplements that come from whole foods. Sandra calls Debbie a very good patient. Debbie is very disciplined and she has felt a great sense of well being sense she started receiving Sandra’s treatment.

The surgery lasted only two hours and fifteen minutes. We were anticipating four to five hours. When I asked the doctor why the surgery was so short, he said, “Because it went so well.” This was certainly an answer to our prayers for the “perfect surgery”.

We are now praying for the perfect treatment plan for Debbie. Please pray that the Lord will show us His perfect will for Debbie.

We are still asking the Lord for divine healing. But we consider all healing to be from the Lord. We are rejoicing that the surgery was such a success. It feels like we just won a battle in a war that is still raging. Please pray for God to strengthen our family as we continue the fight.

Jerry Wells

Surgery Report

2006-10-11T16:54:00.000-05:00

As of 3:30pm Debbie is out of surgery and will be in recovery for the next 2 hours. The surgeons were encouraged by the surgery and what they were able to accomplish. The surgeon said that everything went according to plan. It does not appear that the cancer has metastisized to her spine or the muscle tissue around her spine. The cancer did invade some lymph nodes along the spine that were removed.

The doctor was optimistic. Debbie will recover and we will meet with the doctors again in two weeks to discuss our options and the next steps to take. In order to allow Debbie time to rest and recover she will not be receiving any visitors until Friday. At that time please call our cell phones to set up a time to visit that would be best for Debbie. Thank you for all your love, prayers, and signs of support.

Jerry

2006-10-10T13:36:00.000-05:00

The results of Debbie’s PET scan were not what we wanted to hear. The diagnosis is that she has multiple malignant tumors in both of her lungs. They are in the form of small nodules, the largest being the size of a pea. They are inoperable.

Besides her ovaries, the cancer has also metastasized to some muscle tissue in her abdomen and to some bone in her back. The doctor said that they would not know the extent of the metastasis in the abdomen until they do the surgery. The doctor said that they would not know the true origins of the cancer or the kind of cancer until biopsies are taken. Those biopsies will be taken during the surgery, which is tomorrow at 12:30pm at the OU Medical Center in the Presbyterian Tower.

The doctor’s plan is to remove the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and her uterus. They will also remove other tissues that have been invaded by the cancer.

Please pray for discernment for our surgeon as he makes decisions about what to remove and what to leave. Our doctor will want to address whatever cancer remains with chemotherapy.

It has been a difficult 24 hours. Debbie is still feeling very good physically with very little pain. Please pray for us to receive God’s abundant grace to deal with the bad reports and our own emotions. We have been shaken but we are not without hope. May the Lord’s peace surround us, as our family trusts in Him.

Jerry

No New News

2006-10-07T10:31:00.000-05:00

We have not received the report from the PET scan. Since we did not receive it yesterday, it will probably be Monday.

Debbie is still doing well emotionally and physically. She can feel the tumors in her abdomen at times. She says it is not a sharp pain but just uncomfortable.

She is rejoicing in the delay of the surgery. She was able to teach her bible class for young ladies age 12-18 last Wednesday evening. She will now be able to attend our daughter-in-law's baby shower on Monday evening. She has been able to spend more quality time with her sister who came for the surgery. She has more time to prepare her body for the surgery. She will be able to attend church tomorrow and receive more prayer from the church.

Your prayers keep lifting us up.

2006-10-04T12:20:00.000-05:00

Debbie has multiple nodules in both her lungs. The Surgeon has indicated that the nature (malignant or non-malignant) of these nodules will determine the nature of the surgery.

He has requested that Debbie have a PET scan tomorrow morning at 9:00am.
PET stands for Positron Emission Tomography
Positron emission tomography, also called PET imaging or a PET scan, is a diagnostic examination that involves the acquisition of physiologic images based on the detection of radiation from the emission of positrons. Positrons are tiny particles emitted from a radioactive substance administered to the patient. The subsequent images of the human body developed with this technique are used to evaluate a variety of diseases.
Basically it is a way to take better pictures and get a better diagnosis then a CAT scan or an X-ray. The PET scan will scan her body from mid-thigh to her neck.
The surgery has been rescheduled for Wednesday, October 11, at 12:30pm, at the OU Med Center, Presbyterian Tower.

The doctors did not seem concerned about her lungs when we met with them last Tuesday. She had a new CAT scan and the results have elevated their concern. He does not want to proceed without knowing more about her lungs.

Yesterday, we were shaken emotionally by the news. After many tears we stood back up on the Rock.

Your prayers keep lifting us up.

Jerry
Ps. 40:1-3

2006-10-03T12:51:00.000-05:00

Debbie’s surgery has been postponed until Monday or Tuesday of next week. The surgeon called us this morning.

His reason is that Debbie has some spots on her lungs that need to be tested. He said that he wants to know more before he operates.

This was certainly a shock to Debbie and to all of us.

We will update you as we receive more information.

Jerry

Debbie is feeling good

2006-09-30T09:49:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday morning our church and our elders prayed for Debbie after our elders anointed her with oil. Debbie had taken some pain medicine before the service so she could sit through the service. Later that evening, some dear friends came to our house and prayed for Debbie. Since Sunday, she has been without the terrible pain that she had known for several weeks. She has not had any pain medicine since last Sunday. What a blessing this has been as she has prepares for the surgery and carries out her normal work load. Thank you Lord.

A new ultrasound taken the following Tuesday says the tumors are still present but her pain is gone.

Our faith and hope is strong and we ask you to continue to pray for Debbie to be healed as often as we come to your mind. Also pray for our perfect God to enable our skilled surgeons to perform a perfect surgery. And pray for our children to know the peace of God as we wait upon the Lord.

Update on Debbie

2006-09-27T11:23:00.000-05:00

Debbie’s surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, October 4, at 1:00pm at the OU Medical Center.

We met our doctors yesterday. We believe that the Lord has directed us to stay in OKC and use these doctors.

Debbie is feeling great now. The symptoms are only minor and she is experiencing very little pain. She is full of energy.

We have started her on a nutritional plan and program that we believe the Lord has given us to boost her immunity system.

We trust that the extra week of waiting for the surgery is giving Debbie’s body a chance to build up for the trauma of the surgery.

We will know a lot more about what we are facing when the surgery is done. The doctors will analyze the tissue while Debbie is still on the operating table for the final confirmation that the tissue is malignant and how extensive the surgery needs to be.

The hospital stay is normally about 4 days. Recovery time from the surgery is normally about six weeks.

• Please pray for God to guide and empower Dr. Robert S. Mannel and his team to perform perfectly. We know only God can cause men to perform perfectly no matter how well they are qualified.

• Please pray for God to destroy every cancer cell. We know only God truly knows where all of these cells are located. All men’s vision is limited apart from the Lord’s divine inspiration.

• Please pray for Debbie’s body to respond well to the invasion by the surgeons. Pray that it will heal quickly and be divinely strengthened.

Our trust is in our Lord. Debbie is at peace and our hope is in God.
Ps 43:5
5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
KJ

If you would like to e-mail Debbie, please send your e-mail to jerrywellsfam@sbcglobal.net. She may not have time or strength to respond but she would love to hear from you.

We have also started a blog on the web. The address is http://debbieshealthupdate.blogspot.com

Prayerfully,

Jerry Wells

A New Challenge For Our Family

2006-09-25T10:06:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, September 20, we received the news that Debbie has Ovarian Cancer. This diagnosis was made through an ultrasound and a CAT scan.

It appears that the cancer has spread into her abdomen area but not into her major organs. Our doctor says that it appears that it can be surgically removed. But because it has already spread from the ovaries, he is very concerned that it may develop somewhere else in her body after the surgery.

We see a surgeon Tuesday, September 26, and it appears Debbie will have surgery this week.

This came as a great surprise to us all since Debbie has appeared to be very healthy. She only went to the doctor because of the sudden onset of pain in her abdomen and a fever. We thought she had picked up a parasite on her recent trip to Africa.

Debbie has experienced remarkable peace which only comes to one who walks so close to the Lord. There have been many tears but God's peace is there. Debbie spoke to the church this past Sunday and we all felt the grace of God as she shared. She was then anointed with oil and the church leaders and the church prayed for her.

We are praying that the Lord will be merciful to us all and heal my precisous wife. Please pray for God's peace for the children and me. And please pray for wisdom as we are faced with various medical decisions.